Evil triplets snarkily recap Sweet Valley Twins, High, University, Confidential & Sweet Life
There’s a lot of dancing in this series.
Dove recaps Sweet Valley High #28: Alone in the Crowd, wherein Lynne Henry wallows in self-loathing, writes a song, and falls in love. Also, there’s rocking chairs. [Note: Also, some of Dove’s ebook is missing, apparently.]
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Dove recaps Sweet Valley High #16: Rags to Riches, wherein a cute boy becomes rich, and Jessica suddenly wants to date him. And it’s actually better than it sounds.
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Wing recaps Sweet Valley Junior High #2: One 2 Many and is so. fucking. charmed. Friendships! Sisterhood! Emotional character growth! How is this series so damn cute?!
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Dove recaps Sweet Valley High #4: Power Play and goes BOOM every few paragraphs. Also Liz doesn’t understand sarcasm or metaphors. Seriously.
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Wing recaps Sweet Valley High #3: Playing With Fire and three books in, she’s burning Sweet Valley to the ground.
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Dove recaps Sweet Valley High #2: Secrets in which Enid Rollins is the only decent human being
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Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #114: The Boyfriend Mess and there are love triangles, miscommunications, and dating shenanigans everywhere. EVERYWHERE.
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Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #103: Big Brother’s In Love Again, in which Steven Wakefield is a Class A copper-plated bobby-dazzling bellend.
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Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins 90: The Cousin War and it is love octagon farce in the most delightful ways.
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Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #5: Lila’s Secret Valentine, in which Lila falls for a bit of rough, and Todd Wilkins is completely insufferable.
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Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #78: Steven the Zombie, which is offensive to voodoo practitioners, the disabled, Harriet Tubman and Sojourner Truth specifically, and is literally the worst Sweet Valley book Dove has ever read. That includes ithig.
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Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #76: Yours for a Day, and is way too charmed by a made-up holiday focused on pink romance.
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Raven recaps The Great Boyfriend Switch, and needs a spreadsheet to keep track on all the Twinny subterfuge.
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Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #65: Patty’s Last Dance and the book dances its way into her heart.
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Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #43: Elizabet’s First Kiss, which sees Elizabeth lose her lip virginity to the inestimable Todd Wilkins… or does she?
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Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #37: The War Between the Twins, in which Jessica launches a rival newspaper, many lies are told and Amy Sutton can just get in the f***ing sea.
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Sweet Valley Twins #2: Teacher’s Pet, wherein Elizabeth is much beloved, Jessica wants to murder everyone and Madame André deserves to have her ballet studio burned to the ground.
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Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #1: Best Friends, wherein we meet the perfect twins… and Wing is displeased
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