Evil triplets snarkily recap Sweet Valley Twins, High, University, Confidential & Sweet Life
Sweet Valley has its own time. A month is precisely as long as anyone needs it to be. A year has as many Halloweens/Christmases/birthdays/etc., as the plot requires. Why don’t people get this?
Wing recaps Sweet Valley High Super Edition #3: Spring Break, and the Wakefield twins head off on their very first trip to France, a trip of a lifetime, one that HAS ALREADY HAPPENED IN TWINS. Twin magic, Liz has no spine, mighty storms, and a Steven love triangle. Oh boy.
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Title: The Best Friend Game Tagline: Winner take all… Summary: Can you believe there’s a new club at Sweet Valley
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Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins 110: Pumpkin Fever in which Jessica wants to be crowned Halloween Queen, and will stop at nothing to achieve it, including murdering a fictional squirrel!
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Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #8: Jessica’s First Kiss, which is pointless because Jessica was kissed in book 15, which was 110 books ago. But this book contains camping! Bears! Vomit! EXCITING, YES?
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Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #103: Big Brother’s In Love Again, in which Steven Wakefield is a Class A copper-plated bobby-dazzling bellend.
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Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #9: Evil Elizabeth where Elizabeth is evil, Steven is useful, Jessica is awesome and Ellen is in character #WINNING
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Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins 90: The Cousin War and it is love octagon farce in the most delightful ways.
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Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #8: The Secret of the Magic Pen, wherein the twins go to summer camp (again) and Elizabeth finds a pen in a cave.
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Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #85: Elizabeth the Seventh-Grader, and Raven is right: Sweet Valley Middle School has the worst teachers in the world. BURN. IT. DOWN.
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Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins Magna Edition #3: BIG for Christmas wherein Jamie Suzanne rips off a well-known plot, gives Elizabeth a spine, and makes me question how slutty silk is.
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Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins Magna Edition #2: A Christmas Without Elizabeth, in which Elizabeth Lassos the Moon. Merry Chrismas, Sweet Valley!
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Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #72: The Love Potion, wherein the Unicorns make a love potion. What, you thought it was a clever title?
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Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #65: Patty’s Last Dance and the book dances its way into her heart.
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Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #4: The Unicorns Go Hawaiian, and she braces herself for some horrible stereotypes and cultural appropriation. Did she go boom? Read to find out.
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Dove recaps Lucy Takes the Reins, wherein Dove doesn’t care in the slightest about Lucy, but ADORES WHOLEHEARTEDLY the b-plot, which features #BestJess
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Wing forgot to fill this in, so Dove will summarise: Wing falls hopelessly in love with this awesome story, wherein Liz makes BFFs with a ghost, Lila is sass personified, Jessica is a true believer, and DOVE WAS RIGHT THAT THIS IS THE BEST SWEET VALLEY BOOK EVER.
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Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #1: The Christmas Ghost, which is a Sweet Valley retelling of A Christmas Carol, with pop stars and talking unicorns (not the girl gang), and loads of versions of Jessica… all of which she takes a few minutes to identify as being herself (or Liz).
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Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins 22: Out of Place. Once again the harpies of Sweet Valley decide to bully a new student to the point of suicide, and somehow that’s ok.
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Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #20: Playing Hooky, which is a lot of hoopla over a cute boy, in all honesty.
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Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #7: Three’s a Crowd, wherein we find out that Mary looks just like the twins, and her mother looks just like her, so… um, everyone looks like Alice Wakefield?
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