Author: Raven

Looking back at things I've enjoyed, and smashing them to pieces with the Snark-Hammer. Lover of games of every stripe and hue. NOT A REAL BIRD.

Sweet Valley High #27: Lovestruck

Posted on 29 May 202329 May 2023 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley High #27: Lovestruck, in which Ken Matthews can pass a football but can’t pass an English class.

Delay To Our Scheduled Programming

Posted on 22 May 202321 May 2023 by Raven

Raven updates the world on his toothache, which has impacted on the schedule. … Impacted! Get it?

Sweet Valley High #24: Memories

Posted on 17 April 202317 April 2023 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley High #24, in which Steven Wakefield grapples with love, grief, and loss, all of which are better than grappling with a bloody lawnmower.

Sweet Valley High #22: Too Much In Love

Posted on 27 March 202327 March 2023 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley High #22: Too Much In Love, in which he feels empathy for DeeDee and Bill while dicking about with a friendly AI robot.

Sweet Valley High #20: Crash Landing!

Posted on 27 February 202327 February 2023 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley High #20: Crash Landing! In which not even a titular exclamation point can muster up a flicker of interest.

Goodbye Patreon, Hello New Content!

Posted on 3 February 20233 February 2023 by Raven

Raven shares an important site update regarding the end of the Patreon programme and the promise of more content!

Sweet Valley High #17: Love Letters

Posted on 30 January 202330 January 2023 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley High #17: Love Letters, in which Caroline Pearce invents a boyfriend, who is more well rounded than most of her classmates.

Sweet Valley High #14: Deceptions

Posted on 9 January 20239 January 2023 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley High #14: Deceptions, in which Elizabeth is pressured into dating a creature from beyond the mortal veil.

Sweet Valley High #11: Too Good To Be True

Posted on 5 December 20225 December 2022 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley High #11: Too Good To Be True, in which we meet a girl who makes Jessica look like Mother Theresa.

High Episode 3: Playing With Fire

Posted on 16 November 202216 November 2022 by Raven

Dove, Raven and Wing discuss Sweet Valley High Book 3: Playing With Fire.

Sweet Valley High #8: Heart Breaker

Posted on 10 November 202210 November 2022 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley High #8: Heart Breaker, in which Bill Chase’s depressing backstory gets him an X Factor audition.

Sweet Valley High #5: All Night Long

Posted on 17 October 20224 December 2022 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley High #5: All Night Long, in which Jessica is “romanced” by a man with a mustache, and Elizabeth… fails… a… TEST!

Delay To Your Scheduled Programing

Posted on 10 October 202213 October 2022 by Raven

Hello! It’s Raven here. Hope all is well. I’m here with a quick note regarding this week’s recap, which is

High Episode 2: Secrets

Posted on 18 September 202219 September 2022 by Raven

Dove, Raven and Wing discuss Sweet Valley High Book 2: Secrets.

High Episode 1: Double Love

Posted on 10 September 202210 September 2022 by Raven

Dove, Raven and Wing discuss Sweet Valley High Book 1: Double Love.

Sweet Valley High #1: Double Love

Posted on 5 September 20224 December 2022 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley High #1: Double Love, the first book in the new series… and we’re not in Kansas anymore.

Sweet Valley Online Update: Next Stop… Sweet Valley High!

Posted on 22 July 202219 July 2022 by Raven

Hello! I’m Raven. You know me, right? I’m [this guy]. One of the three recappers on this wonderful and irreverent

Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #13: Elizabeth: Next Stop: Jr High

Posted on 11 July 202211 July 2022 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #13: Elizabeth: Next Stop: Jr High, in which Elizabeth Wakefield spends five weeks in Costa Rica, snogging a boy in a forest.

The Unicorn Club #22: Jessica’s Dream Date

Posted on 13 June 202213 June 2022 by Raven

Raven recaps the Unicorn Club #22: Jessica’s Dream Date, in which I’d happily take a cricket bat and bludgeon Johnny Buck into a marmalade pulp.

The Unicorn Club #19: The Most Beautiful Girl in the World

Posted on 9 May 20229 May 2022 by Raven

Raven recaps The Unicorn Club #19: The Most Beautiful Girl in the World, in which the Unicorns discover you can be TOO thin, while simultaneously reminding us you can be too fat.