Sweet Valley High #29: Bitter Rivals
Raven recaps Sweet Valley High #29: Bitter Rivals, in which Elizabeth is trapped in a face-off with her friendship as the prize! And a rosette too, probably.
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Tag: Always With the Incest
Steven is a little too interested in Jessica’s hotness. (And other weirdly incestuous vibes.)
Sweet Valley High #24: Memories
Raven recaps Sweet Valley High #24, in which Steven Wakefield grapples with love, grief, and loss, all of which are better than grappling with a bloody lawnmower.
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Sweet Valley High #23: Say Goodbye
Wing recaps Sweet Valley High 23: Say Goodbye and oh, it would help if she gave one flying fuck about Todd and Liz’s relationship, but since she doesn’t, be prepared for some nitpicking when cars and names change within a few pages.
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Sweet Valley High #13: Kidnapped!
Dove recaps Sweet Valley High #13: Kidnapped!, a misleading book because 71% of the book is not about a kidnapping. It’s about the value of homework. FFS.
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Sweet Valley Junior High #1: Get Real
Dove recaps the absolute best book in the entire Sweet Valley franchise and is shocked to find out that it’s Sweet Valley Junior High #1: Get Real
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Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #7: Jessica’s Animal Instincts
Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Special #7: Jessica’s Animal Instincts and oh my god, the highs and lows. THE HIGHS AND LOWS. And adorable bear cub.
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Sweet Valley Twins #90: The Cousin War
Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins 90: The Cousin War and it is love octagon farce in the most delightful ways.
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Sweet Valley Twins #84: Romeo and Two Juliets
Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #84: Romeo and Two Juliets and it is filled with delightful Twin … what’s the opposite of Magic? That.
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Sweet Valley Twins #69: Won’t Someone Help Anna?
Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #69: Won’t Someone Help Anna? There’s a new girl in town, and she’s deaf. BURN HER! BURN THE WITCH!
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Sweet Valley Twins #57: Big Brother’s in Love!
Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #57: Big Brother’s in Love! and we learn the truth about Pea Pong. PEA PONG.
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Sweet Valley Twins #39: Jessica and the Money Mix-Up
Wing recaps Jessica and the Money Mix-Up and has to resort to bullet points to get through. (WHY DID IT TALK ABOUT BILLABLE HOURS? WHY?)
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Sweet Valley Twins #27: Teamwork
Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #27: Teamwork, in which a dog gets a bad dye job and Ken Matthews doesn’t get paid for his hard work. Oh, and the twins exist.
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Sweet Valley Twins #12: Keeping Secrets
Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #12: Keeping Secrets, wherein Ned teaches the girls a secret (and tedious) language and IT TEARS THE SCHOOL APART!
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Sweet Valley Twins #4: Choosing Sides
Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #4: Choosing Sides, wherein Amy wants to twirl a baton, Jessica doesn’t want her to, and Elizabeth feebly stands in the middle, wondering whose side to take.
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