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Evil triplets snarkily recap Sweet Valley Twins, High, University, Confidential & Sweet Life

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Jessica's Hobby: Surfing

Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #14: Jessica: Next Stop: Jr High

Posted on 19 July 202218 July 2022 by Wing

Title: Jessica: Next Stop: Jr High Summary: Sunscreen alert! Jessica and the Unicorns are headed for the balmy, boy-filled beaches

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  Hawaii Trip
  Ellen Riteman, Jessica Wakefield, Kimberly Haver, Lila Fowler, Mandy Miller, Rachel Grant
  Ellen Riteman/Rafe, Jessica Wakefield/Jason Landry, Kimberly Haver/Steve, Lila Fowler/Wiley Upjohn, Marissa/Jason Landry, Rachel Grant/Larry
  Murder, Surfing

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About

Evil twins, Wing (she/her) and Dove (she/her), trade Point Horror for Sweet Valley. And they have a secret triplet, Raven (he/him), joining them for a dude’s point of view.

We will be recapping Sweet Valley Twins (and all the special editions, including The Unicorn Club) to start with, and if Wing survives that, we may try other Sweet Valley series.

We will upload a recap every Monday for three weeks, and a podcast on the fourth.

Our next recap will be .

Our Podcast music is provided by Stuart Taylor of Legacy Breakfast.

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Raven’s Twinparisons

While they look alike, the twins’ personalities couldn’t be more different. For example, Jessica’s friends are very much a reflection of her: pretty, bitchy, vacuous wastes of skin, while Elizabeth’s friends reflect her to perfection: boring, sanctimonious spunkwaffles.

Elizabeth enjoys reading mystery novels, and revels in solving the fictitious crimes within. Jessica enjoys committing actual crimes, and revels in evading capture while succumbing to her murderous urges.

Even though they were so very different, the twins had one beautiful thing in common: Steven would fuck them both.

Sweet Valley Twins #91: Deadly Voyage

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Tags

#BestJamieSuzanne #TeamGrapplegate A+ parenting Always With the Incest Bleak Valley aka Sweet Valley Low Book-long soulmates comments by Dove comments by Raven comments by Wing Dance Baby Dance Don't be a bully be a star Double Dipping Plot Dove goes BOOM! Elizabeth Has A Spine! Ewww poor people! For the hundred and thirty-seventh time... FUCK YOU TAMARA CHASE Great Ghosties I'm running away! I'm scared of Jessica I HATE STEVEN Jessica's New Fave Hobby lo! a haunted house Needs More Werewolves No means no - unless you're Jessica Plucky girl detectives Poor little Jessica Raven disapproves of the faculty Raven goes BOOM Shame you're not a perfect size 6 sketchy student-teacher relationships Something Must Be Done SUPERNATURAL OOOOH Sweet Valley Time THANK GOD FOR ELIZABETH That brand new tradition we've always had The new girl/boy The tears of a saint The twins CANNOT sing The twins CAN sing too many Peters TWIN MAGIC Wakefields Must Win Wing's heart grew 10 sizes Wing goes BOOM

Characters

Aaron Dallas Alice Wakefield Amy Sutton Belinda "Billie" Layton Betsy Gordon Brooke Dennis Bruce Patman Caroline Pearce Cathy Connors Charlie Cashman Denny Jacobson Elizabeth Wakefield Ellen Riteman Evie Kim George Fowler Grace Oliver Janet Howell Jerry McAllister Jessica Wakefield Joe (aka "Sam") Howell Johnny Buck Julie Porter Ken Matthews Kimberly Haver Lila Fowler Lois Waller Mandy Miller Maria Slater Mary Giaccio-Robinson-Wallace Melissa McCormick Mr Bowman Mr Clark Mr Nydick Mrs Arnette Ms Wyler Ned Wakefield Nora Mercandy Olivia Davidson Rick Hunter Sarah Thomas Sophia Rizzo Steven Wakefield Tamara Chase Todd Wilkins Winston Egbert

Elizabeth’s BFF

Amy Sutton (5) Anna Barrett (1) Arthur Castle aka Castillo (1) Belinda "Billie" Layton (1) Betsy Martin (1) Brian Boyd (1) Brooke Dennis (3) Cammi Adams (1) Chrissy Steele (1) Christoph Bachmann (1) Danny Jackson (1) Denny Jacobson (but not through choice) (1) Dylan McKay (1) George Henkel (1) Ginny Lu Culpepper (1) Grace Oliver (1) Joe Carrey (1) Kala (1) Ken Matthews (2) Leslie Forsythe (1) Lila Fowler (2) Lois Waller (2) Lucy Benson (1) Mandy Miller (1) Maria Slater (3) Mary Giaccio-Robinson-Wallace (3) Melissa McCormick (1) Miranda Page (1) Nora Mercandy (1) Pamela Jacobson (1) Pamela McDonald (1) Patrick Morris (1) Poor disabled and homeless Benjamin (1) Robin (Wakefield?) (3) Samantha Williams (1) Sam Sloane (1) Sandra Ferris (1) Sarah Thomas (1) Sophia Rizzo (1) Starr Johnson (1) The (homeless) Glass family (1) Winston Egbert (1)

Jessica’s Hobby

Acting (10) Animals (1) Baby-Sitting (5) Basketball (2) Being a Big Sister (1) Being Charming (1) Being Jailbait (2) Being psychic (4) Being treated like a grownup (3) Caring about the disabled (2) Catching Criminals (2) Ceramics (1) Cheerleading (2) Comedy (1) Cookery (1) Dogs (yes really) (1) Fashion Designer (1) France (1) Gymnastics (1) Horse Riding (1) House-Sitting (1) Hypnosis (1) Intellectual Property Theft (1) Ithig (1) Lying (1) Modelling (1) Murder (1) Pranks (1) Predicting Earthquakes (1) Re-living Days (1) Rollerblading (1) Running a Student Paper (1) Saving the Environment (2) Scuba Diving (1) Seals (1) Singing (6) Skiing (1) Softball (1) Solving Mysteries (1) Student Council (1) Surfing (1) Treasure Hunting (1) Unabashed EEEVIL (1) Using her evil powers of scheming for good (3) Voodoo (1)
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