Sweet Valley High #26: Hostage!
Dove recaps Sweet Valley High #26: Hostage!, which features hostages, daring rescues, useless police, and… random shit about Ken Matthews failing English.
Continue readingEvil triplets snarkily recap Sweet Valley Twins, High, University, Confidential & Sweet Life
Someone, usually Elizabeth, is going to sort this shit out. Right now.
Dove recaps Sweet Valley High #26: Hostage!, which features hostages, daring rescues, useless police, and… random shit about Ken Matthews failing English.
Continue readingWing recaps Sweet Valley High #25: Nowhere to Run and what looks like a simple evil stepmother story ends with Wing BURNING EVERYTHING TO THE GROUND.
Continue readingRaven recaps Sweet Valley High #22: Too Much In Love, in which he feels empathy for DeeDee and Bill while dicking about with a friendly AI robot.
Continue readingWing recaps Sweet Valley High #21: Runaway, and it was going so well! Jessica’s depression worked! And then that rushed, Thank God For Liz ending ruined it.
Continue readingWing recaps Sweet Valley High #18: Head Over Heels and would have found it charming and silly had the romantic hero not been BRUCE FUCKING PATMAN, abusive rapist.
Continue readingRaven recaps Sweet Valley High #17: Love Letters, in which Caroline Pearce invents a boyfriend, who is more well rounded than most of her classmates.
Continue readingWing recaps Sweet Valley High #15: Promises and hates every goddamn second of this hypocritical Jessica and death by cancer fucking book.
Continue readingWing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #12: When Love Dies, and it’s probably a mistake to spend so much time talking about a character dying from cancer. Ah well.
Continue readingDove recaps Sweet Valley High #7: Dear Sister, wherein Elizabeth is Jessica, Jessica is Elizabeth and the Wakefield parents are literally the worst parents in the world.
Continue readingDove recaps Sweet Valley High #4: Power Play and goes BOOM every few paragraphs. Also Liz doesn’t understand sarcasm or metaphors. Seriously.
Continue readingRaven recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #13: Elizabeth: Next Stop: Jr High, in which Elizabeth Wakefield spends five weeks in Costa Rica, snogging a boy in a forest.
Continue readingTitle: Unicorns In Love Tagline: Blinded by love… Summary: The Unicorns are over… finished for good. But this time we
Continue readingWing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #109: Don’t Go into the Basement and there’s some sleuthing afoot.
Continue readingDove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #103: Elizabeth Solves It All, where this Jamie appears to hate Elizabeth as much as Dove does, and Amy Sutton is surprisingly awesome. Yeah, no, really.
Continue readingRaven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #95: Elizabeth the Spy, in which Elizabeth commits perjury in order to secure her supply of thick strawberry milkshakes.
Continue readingWing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #93: Don’t Talk to Brian wherein Brian the Nazi is redeemed. Wing takes this about as well as you’d think.
Continue readingDove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #86: It Can’t Happen Here wherein Sweet Valley tackles the Holocaust and the dead rise from the grave. Not hyperbole. #DoveGoesBOOM!
Continue readingWing recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #5: The Curse of the Ruby Necklace and it has everything wonderful! Vengeful ghosts! Murder mysteries! #bestjess everywhere!
Continue readingRaven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #69: Won’t Someone Help Anna? There’s a new girl in town, and she’s deaf. BURN HER! BURN THE WITCH!
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