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Evil triplets snarkily recap Sweet Valley Twins, High, University, Confidential & Sweet Life

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Relationship: Robin Wakefield/Juan Valencia

Sweet Valley Twins #90: The Cousin War

Posted on 4 May 202025 February 2021 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins 90: The Cousin War and it is love octagon farce in the most delightful ways.

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Sweet Valley Twins
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  School Dance, School Dance: Sadie Hawkins
  Aaron Dallas, Elizabeth Wakefield, Jessica Wakefield, Lila Fowler, Mandy Miller, Robin (Wakefield?), Steven Wakefield, Todd Wilkins
  Elizabeth Wakefield/Todd Wilkins, Jessica Wakefield/Aaron Dallas, Jessica Wakefield/Juan Valencia, Lila Fowler/Jake Hamilton, Robin Wakefield/Juan Valencia, Robin Wakefield/Todd Wilkins
  Robin (Wakefield?)

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About

Evil twins, Wing (she/her) and Dove (she/her), trade Point Horror for Sweet Valley. And they have a secret triplet, Raven (he/him), joining them for a dude’s point of view.

We will be recapping Sweet Valley Twins (and all the special editions, including The Unicorn Club) to start with, and if Wing survives that, we may try other Sweet Valley series.

We will upload a recap every Monday for three weeks, and a podcast on the fourth.

Our next recap will be The Unicorn Club #21: Snow Bunnies recapped by Dove on 23 May 2022.

Our Podcast music is provided by Stuart Taylor of Legacy Breakfast.

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Raven’s Twinparisons

Elizabeth is a fan of Amada Howard mysteries, while Jessica would kill everyone she knows for the chance to nibble one of Johnny Buck’s nuttiest turds.

Jessica would slit your throat while you slept. Elizabeth would salve the wound with her healing tears, weeping at the woes of the world.

Elizabeth frots herself to a frenzy against a threadbare and traumatised stuffed koala every night. Jessica’s favourite colour is purple.

Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #9: The Twins Go To College

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Tags

#BestJamieSuzanne #TeamGrapplegate A+ parenting Always With the Incest Bleak Valley aka Sweet Valley Low Book-long soulmates comments by Dove comments by Raven comments by Wing Dance Baby Dance Don't be a bully be a star Double Dipping Plot Dove goes BOOM! Elizabeth Has A Spine! Ewww poor people! For the hundred and thirty-seventh time... FUCK YOU TAMARA CHASE Great Ghosties I'm running away! I'm scared of Jessica I HATE STEVEN Jessica's New Fave Hobby lo! a haunted house Needs More Werewolves No means no - unless you're Jessica Plucky girl detectives Poor little Jessica Raven disapproves of the faculty Raven goes BOOM Shame you're not a perfect size 6 sketchy student-teacher relationships Something Must Be Done SUPERNATURAL OOOOH Sweet Valley Time THANK GOD FOR ELIZABETH That brand new tradition we've always had The new girl/boy The tears of a saint The twins CANNOT sing The twins CAN sing too many Peters TWIN MAGIC Wakefields Must Win Wing's heart grew 10 sizes Wing goes BOOM

Characters

Aaron Dallas Alice Wakefield Amy Sutton Belinda "Billie" Layton Betsy Gordon Brooke Dennis Bruce Patman Caroline Pearce Cathy Connors Charlie Cashman Denny Jacobson Elizabeth Wakefield Ellen Riteman Evie Kim George Fowler Grace Oliver Janet Howell Jerry McAllister Jessica Wakefield Joe (aka "Sam") Howell Julie Porter Ken Matthews Kimberly Haver Lila Fowler Lois Waller Mandy Miller Maria Slater Mary Giaccio-Robinson-Wallace Melissa McCormick Mr Bowman Mr Clark Mr Nydick Mrs Arnette Ms Wyler Ned Wakefield Nora Mercandy Olivia Davidson Patrick Morris Rick Hunter Sarah Thomas Sophia Rizzo Steven Wakefield Tamara Chase Todd Wilkins Winston Egbert

Elizabeth’s BFF

Amy Sutton (5) Anna Barrett (1) Arthur Castle aka Castillo (1) Belinda "Billie" Layton (1) Betsy Martin (1) Brian Boyd (1) Brooke Dennis (3) Cammi Adams (1) Chrissy Steele (1) Christoph Bachmann (1) Danny Jackson (1) Denny Jacobson (but not through choice) (1) Dylan McKay (1) George Henkel (1) Ginny Lu Culpepper (1) Grace Oliver (1) Joe Carrey (1) Kala (1) Ken Matthews (2) Leslie Forsythe (1) Lila Fowler (2) Lois Waller (2) Lucy Benson (1) Mandy Miller (1) Maria Slater (3) Mary Giaccio-Robinson-Wallace (3) Melissa McCormick (1) Miranda Page (1) Nora Mercandy (1) Pamela Jacobson (1) Pamela McDonald (1) Patrick Morris (1) Poor disabled and homeless Benjamin (1) Robin (Wakefield?) (3) Samantha Williams (1) Sam Sloane (1) Sandra Ferris (1) Sarah Thomas (1) Sophia Rizzo (1) Starr Johnson (1) The (homeless) Glass family (1) Winston Egbert (1)

Jessica’s Hobby

Acting (10) Animals (1) Baby-Sitting (5) Ballet (1) Basketball (2) Being a Big Sister (1) Being Charming (1) Being Jailbait (2) Being psychic (4) Being treated like a grownup (3) Caring about the disabled (2) Catching Criminals (2) Ceramics (1) Cheerleading (2) Comedy (1) Cookery (1) Dogs (yes really) (1) Fashion Designer (1) France (1) Gymnastics (1) Having her picture taken (1) Horse Riding (1) House-Sitting (1) Hypnosis (1) Intellectual Property Theft (1) Ithig (1) Lying (1) Modelling (1) Pranks (1) Predicting Earthquakes (1) Re-living Days (1) Rollerblading (1) Running a Student Paper (1) Saving the Environment (2) Scuba Diving (1) Seals (1) Singing (6) Softball (1) Solving Mysteries (1) Student Council (1) Treasure Hunting (1) Unabashed EEEVIL (1) Using her evil powers of scheming for good (3) Voodoo (1)
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