Character: Winston Egbert

Class clown, geek, and member of the Boosters Club. Sort-of in a couple with Grace Oliver.

Sweet Valley High #24: Memories

Posted on 17 April 202317 April 2023 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley High #24, in which Steven Wakefield grapples with love, grief, and loss, all of which are better than grappling with a bloody lawnmower.

Sweet Valley High #11: Too Good To Be True

Posted on 5 December 20225 December 2022 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley High #11: Too Good To Be True, in which we meet a girl who makes Jessica look like Mother Theresa.

Sweet Valley High #3: Playing With Fire

Posted on 19 September 20224 December 2022 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley High #3: Playing With Fire and three books in, she’s burning Sweet Valley to the ground.

Sweet Valley High #2: Secrets

Posted on 12 September 202225 September 2022 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley High #2: Secrets in which Enid Rollins is the only decent human being

Sweet Valley High #1: Double Love

Posted on 5 September 20224 December 2022 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley High #1: Double Love, the first book in the new series… and we’re not in Kansas anymore.

Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #12: Good-Bye Middle School

Posted on 27 June 202227 June 2022 by Dove

Dove does her last reacap of Sweet Valley Twins, Super Edition #12: Good-Bye Middle School, which has no plot, the characters suck, nothing is resolved and Magical Native Americans die for the Wakefields’ sins. So a fitting cap to the series, all things considered.

Sweet Valley Twins #116: Jessica Takes Charge

Posted on 7 June 20214 September 2021 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #116 Jessica Takes Charge and is shocked when the book touches on racist institutions and social injustice without completely handwaving it off.

Sweet Valley Twins #113: The Boyfriend Game

Posted on 19 April 202119 April 2021 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #113: The Boyfriend Game, which pays homage to a legendary Eighties television gameshow, in a frankly incomprehensible way.

Sweet Valley Twins #106: Breakfast of Enemies

Posted on 25 January 202110 April 2021 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #106: Breakfast of Enemies, in which the sass is electric, the cereal is inedible, and Jessica needs to have a word with herself.

Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #8: Jessica’s First Kiss

Posted on 11 January 202111 January 2021 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #8: Jessica’s First Kiss, which is pointless because Jessica was kissed in book 15, which was 110 books ago. But this book contains camping! Bears! Vomit! EXCITING, YES?

Sweet Valley Twins #103: Big Brother’s In Love Again

Posted on 23 November 20204 September 2021 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #103: Big Brother’s In Love Again, in which Steven Wakefield is a Class A copper-plated bobby-dazzling bellend.

Sweet Valley Twins #98 – The Beast Is Watching You

Posted on 7 September 202030 October 2022 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #98 – The Beast Is Watching You, in which the noble art of babysitting is examined ad infinitum.

Sweet Valley Twins #97: Too Scared to Sleep

Posted on 31 August 202030 October 2022 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #97: Too Scared to Sleep, the unholy union between Freddy Krueger and Kristy Thomas, where literally nothing happens for 30k words.

Sweet Valley Twins #95: Battle of the Cheerleaders

Posted on 3 August 202025 February 2021 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #95: Battle of the Cheerleaders, and accidentally enjoys it. Note: it’s not about cheerleading. It’s about basketball. And Dove doesn’t understand that at all.

Sweet Valley Twins #91: Deadly Voyage

Posted on 25 May 202025 February 2021 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #91: Deadly Voyage, in which there’s genuine, terrifying, nail-biting peril. And the best line EVER from Tamara Chase.

Sweet Valley Twins #86: It Can’t Happen Here

Posted on 16 March 202025 February 2021 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #86: It Can’t Happen Here wherein Sweet Valley tackles the Holocaust and the dead rise from the grave. Not hyperbole. #DoveGoesBOOM!

Sweet Valley Twins #76: Yours for a Day

Posted on 13 March 201913 March 2019 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #76: Yours for a Day, and is way too charmed by a made-up holiday focused on pink romance.

Sweet Valley Twins #71: Jessica Saves the Trees

Posted on 14 January 201925 February 2021 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #71: Jessica Saves the Trees wherein #BestJess attempts to save the trees, Elizabeth is genuinely useless, facts are a last resort.

Sweet Valley Middle School Yearbook Superlatives

Posted on 24 December 20183 January 2019 by Dove

Raven and Dove never did yearbooks. They never did superlatives. They felt like they missed out. Here are what they came up with…

Sweet Valley Twins #59: Barnyard Battle

Posted on 27 August 201825 February 2021 by Raven

Raven recaps Barnyard Battle, in which Elizabeth nearly dies in a lightning storm and no one gives a tiny rat’s ass.