Sweet Valley High #29: Bitter Rivals
Raven recaps Sweet Valley High #29: Bitter Rivals, in which Elizabeth is trapped in a face-off with her friendship as the prize! And a rosette too, probably.
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Tag: I’m scared of Jessica
Quite frankly, this kid is far too ruthless for a supposedly well-liked twelve year old.
Sweet Valley High #16: Rags to Riches
Dove recaps Sweet Valley High #16: Rags to Riches, wherein a cute boy becomes rich, and Jessica suddenly wants to date him. And it’s actually better than it sounds.
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Sweet Valley High #10: Wrong Kind of Girl
Dove recaps Sweet Valley High #10: Wrong Kind of Girl, where Jessica AGAIN bullies a perfectly nice girl. TRIGGER WARNING: suicide
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Sweet Valley High #4: Power Play
Dove recaps Sweet Valley High #4: Power Play and goes BOOM every few paragraphs. Also Liz doesn’t understand sarcasm or metaphors. Seriously.
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Sweet Valley High #2: Secrets
Dove recaps Sweet Valley High #2: Secrets in which Enid Rollins is the only decent human being
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Sweet Valley High #1: Double Love
Raven recaps Sweet Valley High #1: Double Love, the first book in the new series… and we’re not in Kansas anymore.
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Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #10: The Year Without Christmas
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #10: The Year Without Christmas wherein Jessica relives Christmas Eve over and over and over… and contemplates murdering Amy Sutton
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Sweet Valley Twins #110: Pumpkin Fever
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins 110: Pumpkin Fever in which Jessica wants to be crowned Halloween Queen, and will stop at nothing to achieve it, including murdering a fictional squirrel!
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Sweet Valley Twins #86: It Can’t Happen Here
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #86: It Can’t Happen Here wherein Sweet Valley tackles the Holocaust and the dead rise from the grave. Not hyperbole. #DoveGoesBOOM!
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Sweet Valley Twins #42: Jessica’s Secret
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #42: Jessica’s Secret, wherein we find people both stupider and bitchier than the Unicorns, and Elizabeth wants to know: HAVE YOU STARTED YOUR PERIOD?
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Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #1: The Christmas Ghost
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #1: The Christmas Ghost, which is a Sweet Valley retelling of A Christmas Carol, with pop stars and talking unicorns (not the girl gang), and loads of versions of Jessica… all of which she takes a few minutes to identify as being herself (or Liz).
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Sweet Valley Twins #31: Jessica’s Bad Idea
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins 31: Jessica’s Bad Idea, in which the most loathesome creature on the planet goes toe-to-toe with… Jessica? Yes. There is someone *worse* than Jess in Sweet Valley.
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Sweet Valley Twins #29: Jessica and the Brat Attack
Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #29: Jessica and the Brat Attack, wherein Jess faces four children more evil and annoying than herself. And Wing has zero sympathy. It is beautiful.
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Sweet Valley Twins #28: April Fool!
Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #28: April Fool! This book sees Elizabeth and Jessica join forces against their brother Stephen, who has become possessed by a giant squid. The fourteen-year-old sandwich chomper threatens to squirt his murky ink all over Sweet Valley, and the twins decree he Must Be Stopped. (Actually, that’s a big lie… April Fool!)
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Sweet Valley Twins #20: Playing Hooky
Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #20: Playing Hooky, which is a lot of hoopla over a cute boy, in all honesty.
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Sweet Valley Twins #18: Center of Attention
Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #18: Center of Attention. And she loves it. Massively. We can mock her for this.
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Sweet Valley Twins #15: The Older Boy
Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins 15: The Older Boy… and loves it. Despite the easily-apparent squicky idea of a twelve year old dating a sixteen year old, this Jamie Suzanne seems to have pulled it off.
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Sweet Valley Twins #11: Buried Treasure
Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #11: Buried Treasure wherein Ellen and Jessica find buried treasure at the exact moment the class money goes missing and conclusions are drawn.
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Sweet Valley Twins #10: One of the Gang
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #10: One of the Gang wherein we learn that having a sprained ankle is EXACTLY THE SAME as a disability
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Sweet Valley Twins #6: The New Girl
Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #6: The New Girl, wherein the twins meet a girl so obnoxious that it creates a triplet named Jennifer. Bullying is fun!
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