Tag: I’m scared of Jessica

Quite frankly, this kid is far too ruthless for a supposedly well-liked twelve year old.

Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #10: The Year Without Christmas

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #10: The Year Without Christmas wherein Jessica relives Christmas Eve over and over and over… and contemplates murdering Amy Sutton

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Sweet Valley Twins #110: Pumpkin Fever

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins 110: Pumpkin Fever in which Jessica wants to be crowned Halloween Queen, and will stop at nothing to achieve it, including murdering a fictional squirrel!

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Sweet Valley Twins #86: It Can’t Happen Here

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #86: It Can’t Happen Here wherein Sweet Valley tackles the Holocaust and the dead rise from the grave. Not hyperbole. #DoveGoesBOOM!

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Sweet Valley Twins 42: Jessica’s Secret by Jamie Suzanne (Katherine Applegate and Michael Grant)

Sweet Valley Twins #42: Jessica’s Secret

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #42: Jessica’s Secret, wherein we find people both stupider and bitchier than the Unicorns, and Elizabeth wants to know: HAVE YOU STARTED YOUR PERIOD?

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Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #1: The Christmas Ghost by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #1: The Christmas Ghost

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #1: The Christmas Ghost, which is a Sweet Valley retelling of A Christmas Carol, with pop stars and talking unicorns (not the girl gang), and loads of versions of Jessica… all of which she takes a few minutes to identify as being herself (or Liz).

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Sweet Valley Twins 31: Jessicas Bad Idea by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #31: Jessica’s Bad Idea

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins 31: Jessica’s Bad Idea, in which the most loathesome creature on the planet goes toe-to-toe with… Jessica? Yes. There is someone *worse* than Jess in Sweet Valley.

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Sweet Valley Twins 29: Jessica and the Brat Attack by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #29: Jessica and the Brat Attack

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #29: Jessica and the Brat Attack, wherein Jess faces four children more evil and annoying than herself. And Wing has zero sympathy. It is beautiful.

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Sweet Valley Twins 28: April Fool by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #28: April Fool!

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #28: April Fool! This book sees Elizabeth and Jessica join forces against their brother Stephen, who has become possessed by a giant squid. The fourteen-year-old sandwich chomper threatens to squirt his murky ink all over Sweet Valley, and the twins decree he Must Be Stopped. (Actually, that’s a big lie… April Fool!)

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Sweet Valley Twins 18: Center of Attention - Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #18: Center of Attention

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #18: Center of Attention. And she loves it. Massively. We can mock her for this.

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Sweet Valley Twins 15: The Older Boy - Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #15: The Older Boy

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins 15: The Older Boy… and loves it. Despite the easily-apparent squicky idea of a twelve year old dating a sixteen year old, this Jamie Suzanne seems to have pulled it off.

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Sweet Valley Twins #11: Buried Treasure

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #11: Buried Treasure wherein Ellen and Jessica find buried treasure at the exact moment the class money goes missing and conclusions are drawn.

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Sweet Valley Twins 6: The New Girl

Sweet Valley Twins #6: The New Girl

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #6: The New Girl, wherein the twins meet a girl so obnoxious that it creates a triplet named Jennifer. Bullying is fun!

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Sweet Valley Twins 5: Sneaking Out

Sweet Valley Twins #5: Sneaking Out

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #5: Sneaking Out, wherein Jessica nearly kills a dog. And gets rewarded with jewellery.

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Sweet Valley Twins #4: Choosing Sides

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #4: Choosing Sides, wherein Amy wants to twirl a baton, Jessica doesn’t want her to, and Elizabeth feebly stands in the middle, wondering whose side to take.

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Sweet Valley Twins 3: The Haunted House

Sweet Valley Twins #3: The Haunted House

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #3: The Haunted House, where the entire school mistakes an orphan for a witch, and bullies her accordingly.

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