Tag: comments by Dove

[Deep purple is Dove’s colour.]

The cover is blueish grey with orange text - a particularly horrible combination and the text is harder to read because each colour is very muted, so they don't pop against each other. Standard porthole cover, with Trisha Martin standing in the foreground visible from the ribs up, she has short chestnut hair and dark eyes. She's wearing an oversized blue shirt with a white collar that makes her look like a maid (not sure how we're supposed to infer this is a hard-drinking slut from such prissy attire). No pose, arms at sides. Behind her, one of the twins stands with her hand on her chin, looking somewhere between thoughtful and murderous. The hair implies it's Liz, but the vicious look in her eye says Jessica. She's wearing an orange tank top.

Sweet Valley High #15: Promises

Wing recaps Sweet Valley High #15: Promises and hates every goddamn second of this hypocritical Jessica and death by cancer fucking book.

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Sweet Valley High #12: When Love Dies

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #12: When Love Dies, and it’s probably a mistake to spend so much time talking about a character dying from cancer. Ah well.

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Sweet Valley High #11: Too Good To Be True

Raven recaps Sweet Valley High #11: Too Good To Be True, in which we meet a girl who makes Jessica look like Mother Theresa.

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Sweet Valley High #8: Heart Breaker

Raven recaps Sweet Valley High #8: Heart Breaker, in which Bill Chase’s depressing backstory gets him an X Factor audition.

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Sweet Valley High #5: All Night Long

Raven recaps Sweet Valley High #5: All Night Long, in which Jessica is “romanced” by a man with a mustache, and Elizabeth… fails… a… TEST!

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Sweet Valley High #3: Playing With Fire

Wing recaps Sweet Valley High #3: Playing With Fire and three books in, she’s burning Sweet Valley to the ground.

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Sweet Valley High #1: Double Love

Raven recaps Sweet Valley High #1: Double Love, the first book in the new series… and we’re not in Kansas anymore.

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Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #14: Jessica: Next Stop: Jr High

Title: Jessica: Next Stop: Jr High Summary: Sunscreen alert! Jessica and the Unicorns are headed for the balmy, boy-filled beaches

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The Unicorn Club #23: Trapped in the Mall

Wing recaps The Unicorn Club #23: Trapped in the Mall and goes boom. Fuck Sweet Valley parents. Fuck the Unicorn Club. Mostly, fuck Kimberly Haver.

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The Unicorn Club #20: In Love with Mandy

Wing recaps The Unicorn Club 20: In Love with Mandy and it is horrible, boring, repetitive, obnoxious, and she is just done.

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The Unicorn Club #19: The Most Beautiful Girl in the World

Raven recaps The Unicorn Club #19: The Most Beautiful Girl in the World, in which the Unicorns discover you can be TOO thin, while simultaneously reminding us you can be too fat.

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