Tag: THANK GOD FOR ELIZABETH

How on earth would we survive without Saint Elizabeth?

Sweet Valley Twins #96: Elizabeth the Spy

Posted on 10 August 202010 August 2020 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #95: Elizabeth the Spy, in which Elizabeth commits perjury in order to secure her supply of thick strawberry milkshakes.

Sweet Valley Twins #93: Don’t Talk to Brian

Posted on 27 July 202025 February 2021 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #93: Don’t Talk to Brian wherein Brian the Nazi is redeemed. Wing takes this about as well as you’d think.

Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #7: The Haunted Burial Ground

Posted on 20 January 202025 February 2021 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #7: The Haunted Burial Ground AND DEAR GOD THE CULTURAL APPROPRIATION BULLSHIT.

Sweet Valley Twins #81: Robbery At The Mall

Posted on 6 January 20206 January 2020 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #81: Robbery At The Mall, in which Elizabeth Wakefield channels John McClane to bring down a crime ring.

Sweet Valley Twins Magna Edition #2: A Christmas Without Elizabeth

Posted on 27 February 201922 February 2021 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins Magna Edition #2: A Christmas Without Elizabeth, in which Elizabeth Lassos the Moon. Merry Chrismas, Sweet Valley!

Sweet Valley Twins #74: Elizabeth the Hero

Posted on 11 February 201913 December 2020 by Raven

Raven recaps sweet Valley Twins #74: Elizabeth the Hero, in which Elizabeth saves Denny Jacobson’s life over and over again, yet no one thinks to stab Steven in the face.

Sweet Valley Twins #67: Jessica the Thief

Posted on 3 December 201825 February 2021 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #67: Jessica the Thief, and it’s fun enough for an overdone plot and subplot. Also: Jessica is a damn thief all the damn time. Except this time.

Sweet Valley Twins #58: Elizabeth and the Orphans

Posted on 20 August 201821 February 2021 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #58: Elizabeth and the Orphans wherein Melissa and Andy McCormick lose their mother and it’s actually quite sad, and Elizabeth does very little, except show up every few pages to remind us that she exists.

Sweet Valley Twins #51: Elizabeth the Impossible

Posted on 4 June 201828 June 2018 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #51: Elizabeth the Impossible wherein Elizabeth enters an abusive relationship and changes everything about herself to appease her abuser. Or she gets too big for her boots after winning a few awards. You decide what you think the book’s about.

Sweet Valley Twins #50: Jessica and the Secret Star

Posted on 28 May 201821 February 2021 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #50: Jessica and the Secret Star, in which the New Girl has a dark and mysterious toilet-paper-shaped past…

Sweet Valley Twins #45: Lucy Takes the Reins

Posted on 9 April 201821 February 2021 by Dove

Dove recaps Lucy Takes the Reins, wherein Dove doesn’t care in the slightest about Lucy, but ADORES WHOLEHEARTEDLY the b-plot, which features #BestJess

Sweet Valley Twins #44: Amy Moves In

Posted on 3 April 201819 August 2018 by Raven

Raven recaps the totally forgettable… erm… huh… what was it again? Something to do with a fire? Oh yeah, Sweet Valley Twins #44: Amy Moves In.

Sweet Valley Twins #40: Danny Means Trouble

Posted on 5 February 201828 June 2018 by Dove

Dove slugs her way through another Very Special Episode during which she wants to murder Elizabeth. More than usual.

Sweet Valley Twins #36: Mary is Missing

Posted on 1 January 201826 May 2020 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #36: Mary is Missing and though everybody’s a sleuth no one wears a dramatic trench coat.

Sweet Valley Twins #34: Jessica the Rock Star

Posted on 4 December 201715 December 2018 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #34 Jessica the Rock Star, in which Jessica both CANNOT and CAN sing, and the Unicorns host a billion parties.

Sweet Valley Twins #32: Jessica on Stage

Posted on 15 November 201715 December 2018 by Wing

Wing Recaps Sweet Valley Twins #32: Jessica on Stage, wherein Jessica gets mentored by the Sweet Valley equivalent of Doris Day. Because why not?

Sweet Valley Twins #26: Taking Charge

Posted on 11 September 201728 June 2018 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins 26: Taking Charge, in which the b-plot is the most compelling thing, because it doesn’t require an iron grip on the idiot ball.

Sweet Valley Twins #21: Left Behind

Posted on 18 July 201728 June 2018 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins 21: Left Behind, where Saint Elizabeth solves everything. Again.

Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #1: The Class Trip

Posted on 5 June 20172 December 2018 by Raven

Raven recaps the very worst that Sweet Valley Twins has to offer: Super Edition #1: The Class Trip. Nobody likes this book. Like, ever.

Sweet Valley Twins #16: Second Best

Posted on 22 May 201728 June 2018 by Wing

Wing Recaps Sweet Valley Twins 16: Second Best. Where brothers dislike each other, and it’s up to busybody Elizabeth to turn them into BFFs.