Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #5: The Curse of the Ruby Necklace and it has everything wonderful! Vengeful ghosts! Murder mysteries! #bestjess everywhere!
Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #69: Won’t Someone Help Anna? There’s a new girl in town, and she’s deaf. BURN HER! BURN THE WITCH!
Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #67: Jessica the Thief, and it’s fun enough for an overdone plot and subplot. Also: Jessica is a damn thief all the damn time. Except this time.
Dove recaps the best book in the series, Sweet Valley Twins 63: Poor Lila!, wherein Lila is poor, the twins are nearly absent and EVERYONE is sassy.
Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #61: Jessica the Nerd, in which Jessica is forced to choose between Nerds and Unicorns, with surprising (and entertaining) results.
Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #4: The Ghost in the Bell Tower by Francine Pascal and it’s great, creepy fun … except the point is to make Elizabeth believe in ghosts AND SHE ALREADY SHOULD.
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #58: Elizabeth and the Orphans wherein Melissa and Andy McCormick lose their mother and it’s actually quite sad, and Elizabeth does very little, except show up every few pages to remind us that she exists.
Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #4: The Unicorns Go Hawaiian, and she braces herself for some horrible stereotypes and cultural appropriation. Did she go boom? Read to find out.
Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #52: Booster Boycott and burns everything to the fucking ground. Fuck gender essentialism. Fuck heteronormativity. Fuck Wakefields Must Win.
Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #50: Jessica and the Secret Star, in which the New Girl has a dark and mysterious toilet-paper-shaped past…
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins 47: Jessica’s New Look, wherein Jessica is a boring, self-centred twat who whines a lot about how wearing glasses is LITERALLY THE WORST. No. This book is the worst.
Dove recaps Lucy Takes the Reins, wherein Dove doesn’t care in the slightest about Lucy, but ADORES WHOLEHEARTEDLY the b-plot, which features #BestJess
Wing forgot to fill this in, so Dove will summarise: Wing falls hopelessly in love with this awesome story, wherein Liz makes BFFs with a ghost, Lila is sass personified, Jessica is a true believer, and DOVE WAS RIGHT THAT THIS IS THE BEST SWEET VALLEY BOOK EVER.
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #42: Jessica’s Secret, wherein we find people both stupider and bitchier than the Unicorns, and Elizabeth wants to know: HAVE YOU STARTED YOUR PERIOD?