Sweet Valley Online

Sweet Valley Twins #106: Breakfast of Enemies

Posted on 25 January 202124 January 2021

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #106: Breakfast of Enemies, in which the sass is electric, the cereal is inedible, and Jessica needs to have a word with herself.

Sweet Valley Twins #105 Jessica’s Lucky Millions

Posted on 18 January 202118 January 2021

Wing (@devilselbowpod) recaps Sweet Valley Twins #105 Jessica’s Lucky Millions and is fairly eh over it all. More on her than the treasure hunt or the sibling prank war. Again.

Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #8: Jessica’s First Kiss

Posted on 11 January 202111 January 2021

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #8: Jessica’s First Kiss, which is pointless because Jessica was kissed in book 15, which was 110 books ago. But this book contains camping! Bears! Vomit! EXCITING, YES?

We’re taking December off

Posted on 7 December 20205 December 2020

Just letting you know we’re taking a break and will be back on 4 Jan 2021.

Sweet Valley Twins #104: Big Brother's In Love Again by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #103: Big Brother’s In Love Again

Posted on 23 November 202023 November 2020

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #103: Big Brother’s In Love Again, in which Steven Wakefield is a Class A copper-plated bobby-dazzling bellend.

Sweet Valley Twins #103: Elizabeth Solves It All

Posted on 16 November 202016 November 2020

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #103: Elizabeth Solves It All, where this Jamie appears to hate Elizabeth as much as Dove does, and Amy Sutton is surprisingly awesome. Yeah, no, really.

Sweet Valley Twins #102: The Mysterious Dr Q

Posted on 2 November 20201 November 2020

Wing recaps The Mysterious Dr. Q and no. just no. no to the infinite power.

Sweet Valley Twins #101: Twins In Love

Posted on 5 October 20205 October 2020

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #101: Twins In Love, in which Elizabeth pretends to be Jessica, Jessica pretends to be Elizabeth, Steven pretends to be a cowboy, and Raven can’t pretend to care.

Sweet Valley Twins #100: If I Die Before I Wake

Posted on 28 September 202028 September 2020

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #100: If I Die Before I Wake. What happens? To quote Alice Wakefield, “I don’t think we’ll ever know the answers…” SERIOUSLY? FUCK YOU!

Sweet Valley Twins #99: The Beast Must Die

Posted on 21 September 202027 September 2020

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins 99: The Beast Must Die and hates everything. Mostly because of what’s going on in the world, but also the book sucks.

Sweet Valley Twins #98 – The Beast Is Watching You

Posted on 7 September 202027 September 2020

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #98 – The Beast Is Watching You, in which the noble art of babysitting is examined ad infinitum.

Sweet Valley Twins #97: Too Scared to Sleep

Posted on 31 August 202027 September 2020

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #97: Too Scared to Sleep, the unholy union between Freddy Krueger and Kristy Thomas, where literally nothing happens for 30k words.

Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #7: Jessica’s Animal Instincts

Posted on 24 August 202024 August 2020

Title: Jessica’s Animal Instincts Tagline: Jessica has a new friend… a grizzly bear cub! Summary: Furry new friends… Taking care of animals is easy! That’s what identical twins Elizabeth and Jessica Wakefield and their friends think when they volunteer at the Sweet Valley Zoo. Until Elizabeth accidentally lets a mischievous monkey named Spanky out of…

Sweet Valley Twins #96: Elizabeth the Spy

Posted on 10 August 202010 August 2020

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #95: Elizabeth the Spy, in which Elizabeth commits perjury in order to secure her supply of thick strawberry milkshakes.

Sweet Valley Twins #95: The Battle of the Cheerleaders by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #95: Battle of the Cheerleaders

Posted on 3 August 20203 August 2020

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #95: Battle of the Cheerleaders, and accidentally enjoys it. Note: it’s not about cheerleading. It’s about basketball. And Dove doesn’t understand that at all.