Author: Wing

I am the evil twin. I'm in a feud with R.L. Stine, but he hasn't found me here yet. Every story needs more werewolves.

Sweet Valley High #25: Nowhere to Run

Posted on 1 May 20231 May 2023 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley High #25: Nowhere to Run and what looks like a simple evil stepmother story ends with Wing BURNING EVERYTHING TO THE GROUND.

Sweet Valley High #23: Say Goodbye

Posted on 3 April 20233 April 2023 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley High 23: Say Goodbye and oh, it would help if she gave one flying fuck about Todd and Liz’s relationship, but since she doesn’t, be prepared for some nitpicking when cars and names change within a few pages.

Sweet Valley High #21: Runaway

Posted on 6 March 20236 March 2023 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley High #21: Runaway, and it was going so well! Jessica’s depression worked! And then that rushed, Thank God For Liz ending ruined it.

Sweet Valley High #18: Head Over Heels

Posted on 6 February 20236 February 2023 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley High #18: Head Over Heels and would have found it charming and silly had the romantic hero not been BRUCE FUCKING PATMAN, abusive rapist.

The cover is blueish grey with orange text - a particularly horrible combination and the text is harder to read because each colour is very muted, so they don't pop against each other. Standard porthole cover, with Trisha Martin standing in the foreground visible from the ribs up, she has short chestnut hair and dark eyes. She's wearing an oversized blue shirt with a white collar that makes her look like a maid (not sure how we're supposed to infer this is a hard-drinking slut from such prissy attire). No pose, arms at sides. Behind her, one of the twins stands with her hand on her chin, looking somewhere between thoughtful and murderous. The hair implies it's Liz, but the vicious look in her eye says Jessica. She's wearing an orange tank top.

Sweet Valley High #15: Promises

Posted on 16 January 202316 January 2023 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley High #15: Promises and hates every goddamn second of this hypocritical Jessica and death by cancer fucking book.

Sweet Valley High #12: When Love Dies

Posted on 12 December 202212 December 2022 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #12: When Love Dies, and it’s probably a mistake to spend so much time talking about a character dying from cancer. Ah well.

Sweet Valley High #9: Racing Hearts

Posted on 21 November 202221 November 2022 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley High #9: Racing Hearts

Sweet Valley Junior High #2: One 2 Many

Posted on 13 November 20223 February 2023 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Junior High #2: One 2 Many and is so. fucking. charmed. Friendships! Sisterhood! Emotional character growth! How is this series so damn cute?!

Sweet Valley High #6: Dangerous Love

Posted on 24 October 202224 October 2022 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley High #6: Dangerous Love

Sweet Valley High #3: Playing With Fire

Posted on 19 September 20224 December 2022 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley High #3: Playing With Fire and three books in, she’s burning Sweet Valley to the ground.

Sweet Valley Online Patreon and Ko-fi

Posted on 4 September 20224 September 2022 by Wing

Good-bye summer, hello Sweet Valley High. Evil triplets Dove, Raven, and Wing started recapping Sweet Valley Twins in January 2017.

Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #14: Jessica: Next Stop: Jr High

Posted on 19 July 202218 July 2022 by Wing

Title: Jessica: Next Stop: Jr High Summary: Sunscreen alert! Jessica and the Unicorns are headed for the balmy, boy-filled beaches

The Unicorn Club #23: Trapped in the Mall

Posted on 23 June 202223 June 2022 by Wing

Wing recaps The Unicorn Club #23: Trapped in the Mall and goes boom. Fuck Sweet Valley parents. Fuck the Unicorn Club. Mostly, fuck Kimberly Haver.

The Unicorn Club #20: In Love with Mandy

Posted on 18 May 202218 May 2022 by Wing

Wing recaps The Unicorn Club 20: In Love with Mandy and it is horrible, boring, repetitive, obnoxious, and she is just done.

The Unicorn Club #17: Boyfriends for Everyone

Posted on 19 April 202221 May 2022 by Wing

Wing recaps The Unicorn Club #17: Boyfriends for Everyone, AND THE STRENGTH OF HER RAGE COULD DESTROY THE WORLD. FUCK UNICORN “FRIENDSHIP.” FUCK EVERYTHING.

The Unicorn Club #15: Too Cool for the Unicorns

Posted on 21 March 202220 March 2022 by Wing

Wing recaps The Unicorn Club 15: Too Cool for the Unicorns and this was real poor timing, though the book ended up a meh offering of yet another friendship lesson.

The Unicorn Club #11: Angels Keep Out

Posted on 13 December 202113 December 2021 by Wing

Title: Angels Keep Out Tagline: Playing dirty… [Wing: Where’s Nydick? He’d be thrilled with this.] Summary: Guess what the Angels

The Unicorn Club #8: Kimberly Rides Again

Posted on 16 November 202116 November 2021 by Wing

Title: Kimberly Rides Again Tagline: The Unicorns hit the trail! Summary: Guess what? Just when the Unicorns were finally back

The Unicorn Club #5: Unicorns in Love

Posted on 19 October 202125 November 2021 by Wing

Title: Unicorns In Love Tagline: Blinded by love… Summary: The Unicorns are over… finished for good. But this time we

The Unicorn Club #2: Maria’s Movie Comeback

Posted on 21 September 202125 November 2021 by Wing

Wing recaps The Unicorn Club #2: Maria’s Move Comeback and actually there’s some amazing character work and friendships while Maria stresses the hell out in a super sympathetic way.