Tag: Ewww poor people!

Aside from fatties, poor people are the WORST.

The cover is blueish grey with orange text - a particularly horrible combination and the text is harder to read because each colour is very muted, so they don't pop against each other. Standard porthole cover, with Trisha Martin standing in the foreground visible from the ribs up, she has short chestnut hair and dark eyes. She's wearing an oversized blue shirt with a white collar that makes her look like a maid (not sure how we're supposed to infer this is a hard-drinking slut from such prissy attire). No pose, arms at sides. Behind her, one of the twins stands with her hand on her chin, looking somewhere between thoughtful and murderous. The hair implies it's Liz, but the vicious look in her eye says Jessica. She's wearing an orange tank top.

Sweet Valley High #15: Promises

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Wing recaps Sweet Valley High #15: Promises and hates every goddamn second of this hypocritical Jessica and death by cancer fucking book.

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Sweet Valley High #12: When Love Dies

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Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #12: When Love Dies, and it’s probably a mistake to spend so much time talking about a character dying from cancer. Ah well.

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The Unicorn Club #20: In Love with Mandy

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Wing recaps The Unicorn Club 20: In Love with Mandy and it is horrible, boring, repetitive, obnoxious, and she is just done.

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Sweet Valley Twins #86: It Can’t Happen Here

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Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #86: It Can’t Happen Here wherein Sweet Valley tackles the Holocaust and the dead rise from the grave. Not hyperbole. #DoveGoesBOOM!

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Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #7: The Haunted Burial Ground

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Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #7: The Haunted Burial Ground AND DEAR GOD THE CULTURAL APPROPRIATION BULLSHIT.

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Magna Edition 2 - A Christmas Without Elizabeth

Sweet Valley Twins Magna Edition #2: A Christmas Without Elizabeth

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Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins Magna Edition #2: A Christmas Without Elizabeth, in which Elizabeth Lassos the Moon. Merry Chrismas, Sweet Valley!

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Sweet Valley Twins 62: Sarah’s Dad and Sophia’s Mom by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #62: Sarah’s Dad and Sophia’s Mum

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Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #62: Sarah’s Dad and Sophia’s Mum and is both annoyed and bored. How? How is that even possible? All these great tropes and yet the story is terrible.

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Sweet Valley Twins #60: Ciao, Sweet Valley! by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #60: Ciao, Sweet Valley!

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Dove recaps the most offensive book in the series to date, Sweet Valley Twins #60: Ciao, Sweet Valley! wherein Jamie Suzanne wants us to really hate Italy. It’s ok though, we just hate the Jamie Suzanne instead.

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Sweet Valley Twins #13: Stretching the Truth

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Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #13: Stretching the Truth, wherein Mary is on her second of three surnames and is feeling very out of sorts, and no adult appears to have noticed.

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Sweet Valley Twins 9: Against the Rules

Sweet Valley Twins #9: Against the Rules

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Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #9: Against the Rules, wherein Elizabeth befriends a poor person. And her parents don’t like it. Can you blame them? You don’t live in Sweet Valley to bump into poor people.

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Sweet Valley Twins 3: The Haunted House

Sweet Valley Twins #3: The Haunted House

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Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #3: The Haunted House, where the entire school mistakes an orphan for a witch, and bullies her accordingly.

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