Dove's Rating: Bad

Sweet Valley High #20: Crash Landing!

Raven recaps Sweet Valley High #20: Crash Landing! In which not even a titular exclamation point can muster up a flicker of interest.

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Sweet Valley High #18: Head Over Heels by Francine Pascal

Sweet Valley High #18: Head Over Heels

Wing recaps Sweet Valley High #18: Head Over Heels and would have found it charming and silly had the romantic hero not been BRUCE FUCKING PATMAN, abusive rapist.

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Sweet Valley High #5: All Night Long

Raven recaps Sweet Valley High #5: All Night Long, in which Jessica is “romanced” by a man with a mustache, and Elizabeth… fails… a… TEST!

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The Unicorn Club #23: Trapped in the Mall

Wing recaps The Unicorn Club #23: Trapped in the Mall and goes boom. Fuck Sweet Valley parents. Fuck the Unicorn Club. Mostly, fuck Kimberly Haver.

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The Unicorn Club #19: The Most Beautiful Girl in the World

Raven recaps The Unicorn Club #19: The Most Beautiful Girl in the World, in which the Unicorns discover you can be TOO thin, while simultaneously reminding us you can be too fat.

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Cover of The Unicorn Club #11 Angels Keep Out

The Unicorn Club #11: Angels Keep Out

Title: Angels Keep Out Tagline: Playing dirty… [Wing: Where’s Nydick? He’d be thrilled with this.] Summary: Guess what the Angels

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