Evil triplets snarkily recap Sweet Valley Twins, High, University, Confidential & Sweet Life
Dove does her last reacap of Sweet Valley Twins, Super Edition #12: Good-Bye Middle School, which has no plot, the characters suck, nothing is resolved and Magical Native Americans die for the Wakefields’ sins. So a fitting cap to the series, all things considered.
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Title: Angels Keep Out Tagline: Playing dirty… [Wing: Where’s Nydick? He’d be thrilled with this.] Summary: Guess what the Angels
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Dove recaps Team Sweet Valley #2: Win One For Sandra and loathes every second of it, with special shout-out to Elizabeth-behaving-as-Jessica and Supah Speshul Sandra, not to mention the incomprehensible layout of where these games take place.
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Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #114: The Boyfriend Mess and there are love triangles, miscommunications, and dating shenanigans everywhere. EVERYWHERE.
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Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #113: The Boyfriend Game, which pays homage to a legendary Eighties television gameshow, in a frankly incomprehensible way.
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Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #8: Jessica’s First Kiss, which is pointless because Jessica was kissed in book 15, which was 110 books ago. But this book contains camping! Bears! Vomit! EXCITING, YES?
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Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #103: Elizabeth Solves It All, where this Jamie appears to hate Elizabeth as much as Dove does, and Amy Sutton is surprisingly awesome. Yeah, no, really.
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Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #100: If I Die Before I Wake. What happens? To quote Alice Wakefield, “I don’t think we’ll ever know the answers…” SERIOUSLY? FUCK YOU!
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Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #95: Battle of the Cheerleaders, and accidentally enjoys it. Note: it’s not about cheerleading. It’s about basketball. And Dove doesn’t understand that at all.
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Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #9: Evil Elizabeth where Elizabeth is evil, Steven is useful, Jessica is awesome and Ellen is in character #WINNING
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Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins 90: The Cousin War and it is love octagon farce in the most delightful ways.
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Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #85: Elizabeth the Seventh-Grader, and Raven is right: Sweet Valley Middle School has the worst teachers in the world. BURN. IT. DOWN.
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Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #5: Lila’s Secret Valentine, in which Lila falls for a bit of rough, and Todd Wilkins is completely insufferable.
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Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #84: Romeo and Two Juliets and it is filled with delightful Twin … what’s the opposite of Magic? That.
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Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #81: Robbery At The Mall, in which Elizabeth Wakefield channels John McClane to bring down a crime ring.
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Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #79: Jessica’s Blind Date, in which all the kids in Sweet Valley Middle School throw their keys into the bowl…
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Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #78: Steven the Zombie, which is offensive to voodoo practitioners, the disabled, Harriet Tubman and Sojourner Truth specifically, and is literally the worst Sweet Valley book Dove has ever read. That includes ithig.
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Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #77: Todd Runs Away, and, shock of all shocks, REALLY LIKES TODD WILKINS. Who replaced her with some sort of Sweet Valley pod person?!
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Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #76: Yours for a Day, and is way too charmed by a made-up holiday focused on pink romance.
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