Evil triplets snarkily recap Sweet Valley Twins, High, University, Confidential & Sweet Life
Magnificently boring love interest of Elizabeth. Prone to getting in a snit over nothing. He never grows out of this. Sadly, he survives. I’ve read all of Sweet Valley Confidential/Sweet Life.
Dove recaps Sweet Valley High Super Editions #2: Special Christmas wherein the specialness is ranked by how many whispered conversations the Wakefields can have about Suzanne Devlin.
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Wing recaps Sweet Valley High 23: Say Goodbye and oh, it would help if she gave one flying fuck about Todd and Liz’s relationship, but since she doesn’t, be prepared for some nitpicking when cars and names change within a few pages.
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Wing recaps Sweet Valley High #18: Head Over Heels and would have found it charming and silly had the romantic hero not been BRUCE FUCKING PATMAN, abusive rapist.
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Raven recaps Sweet Valley High #14: Deceptions, in which Elizabeth is pressured into dating a creature from beyond the mortal veil.
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Dove recaps Sweet Valley High #13: Kidnapped!, a misleading book because 71% of the book is not about a kidnapping. It’s about the value of homework. FFS.
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Raven recaps Sweet Valley High #11: Too Good To Be True, in which we meet a girl who makes Jessica look like Mother Theresa.
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Raven recaps Sweet Valley High #8: Heart Breaker, in which Bill Chase’s depressing backstory gets him an X Factor audition.
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Dove recaps Sweet Valley High #7: Dear Sister, wherein Elizabeth is Jessica, Jessica is Elizabeth and the Wakefield parents are literally the worst parents in the world.
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Raven recaps Sweet Valley High #5: All Night Long, in which Jessica is “romanced” by a man with a mustache, and Elizabeth… fails… a… TEST!
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Dove recaps Sweet Valley High #4: Power Play and goes BOOM every few paragraphs. Also Liz doesn’t understand sarcasm or metaphors. Seriously.
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Wing recaps Sweet Valley High #3: Playing With Fire and three books in, she’s burning Sweet Valley to the ground.
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Raven recaps Sweet Valley High #1: Double Love, the first book in the new series… and we’re not in Kansas anymore.
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Dove does her last reacap of Sweet Valley Twins, Super Edition #12: Good-Bye Middle School, which has no plot, the characters suck, nothing is resolved and Magical Native Americans die for the Wakefields’ sins. So a fitting cap to the series, all things considered.
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Title: Angels Keep Out Tagline: Playing dirty… [Wing: Where’s Nydick? He’d be thrilled with this.] Summary: Guess what the Angels
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Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #118: No Escape!, the last in the main SVT series – where Mr Seigel is crowned GOD OF TERRIBLE TEACHERS and Dove becomes Team Elizabeth in response.
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Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #114: The Boyfriend Mess and there are love triangles, miscommunications, and dating shenanigans everywhere. EVERYWHERE.
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Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #113: The Boyfriend Game, which pays homage to a legendary Eighties television gameshow, in a frankly incomprehensible way.
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Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #8: Jessica’s First Kiss, which is pointless because Jessica was kissed in book 15, which was 110 books ago. But this book contains camping! Bears! Vomit! EXCITING, YES?
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Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #103: Big Brother’s In Love Again, in which Steven Wakefield is a Class A copper-plated bobby-dazzling bellend.
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