Sweet Valley Twins #109: Don’t Go Into the Basement
Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #109: Don’t Go into the Basement and there’s some sleuthing afoot.
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Jessica's Hobby: House-Sitting
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About
Evil twins, Wing (she/her) and Dove (she/her), trade Point Horror for Sweet Valley. And they have a secret triplet, Raven (he/him), joining them for a dude’s point of view.
We will be recapping Sweet Valley Twins (and all the special editions, including The Unicorn Club) to start with, and if Wing survives that, we may try other Sweet Valley series.
We upload every week for three weeks, and take a week off. We upload the recap on Monday, and the podcast the following weekend.
Our next recap will be Sweet Valley High #4: Power Play (Dove on 3 Oct 2022) .
Our Podcast music is provided by Stuart Taylor of Legacy Breakfast.
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Raven’s Twinparisons
This is the story of the two perfect twins
One is a monster, one died for your sins
One is warm hearted, while the other’s much colder
Both have a dimple, one’s four minutes older.
The first twin’s Elizabeth, she longs to be a writer
Unlike her other half, she’s a lover, not a fighter.
She fixes problems plaguing each and every waif and stray
If you’re new, you’re sure to be her Best Friend For A Day.
The second twin is Jessica. She likes boys and dancing,
The Unicorns and purple, parties and romancing.
She loves the thought of Hollywood, awash with glitz and glamour,
And caving in the skulls of fucking bitches with her hammer.
Together they are bulletproof, a family like no other,
With idiotic parents and dim incesty brother.
Blonde, blue eyed and Aryan, straight from a Nazi rally,
Sieg Heil to the Wakefields. Welcome to Sweet Valley.
Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #2: The Ghost in the Graveyard
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#BestJamieSuzanne
#TeamGrapplegate
A+ parenting
Always With the Incest
Bleak Valley aka Sweet Valley Low
Book-long soulmates
comments by Dove
comments by Raven
comments by Wing
Dance Baby Dance
Don't be a bully be a star
Double Dipping Plot
Dove goes BOOM!
Elizabeth Has A Spine!
Ewww poor people!
For the hundred and thirty-seventh time...
FUCK YOU TAMARA CHASE
Great Ghosties
I'm running away!
I'm scared of Jessica
I HATE STEVEN
Jessica's New Fave Hobby
lo! a haunted house
Needs More Werewolves
No means no - unless you're Jessica
Plucky girl detectives
Poor little Jessica
Raven disapproves of the faculty
Raven goes BOOM
Shame you're not a perfect size 6
sketchy student-teacher relationships
Something Must Be Done
SUPERNATURAL OOOOH
Sweet Valley Time
THANK GOD FOR ELIZABETH
That brand new tradition we've always had
The new girl/boy
The tears of a saint
The twins CANNOT sing
The twins CAN sing
too many Peters
TWIN MAGIC
Wakefields Must Win
Wing's heart grew 10 sizes
Wing goes BOOM
Characters
Aaron Dallas (21)
Alice Wakefield (74)
Amy Sutton (88)
Belinda "Billie" Layton (17)
Betsy Gordon (6)
Brooke Dennis (10)
Bruce Patman (48)
Caroline Pearce (22)
Cathy Connors (7)
Charlie Cashman (9)
Denny Jacobson (7)
Elizabeth Wakefield (177)
Ellen Riteman (86)
Evie Kim (7)
George Fowler (8)
Grace Oliver (10)
Janet Howell (71)
Jerry McAllister (11)
Jessica Wakefield (185)
Joe (aka "Sam") Howell (13)
Johnny Buck (7)
Julie Porter (16)
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Kimberly Haver (30)
Lila Fowler (135)
Lois Waller (24)
Mandy Miller (58)
Maria Slater (32)
Mary Giaccio-Robinson-Wallace (33)
Melissa McCormick (9)
Mr Bowman (14)
Mr Clark (7)
Mr Nydick (8)
Mrs Arnette (8)
Ms Wyler (8)
Ned Wakefield (52)
Nora Mercandy (8)
Olivia Davidson (7)
Rick Hunter (14)
Sarah Thomas (6)
Sophia Rizzo (13)
Steven Wakefield (89)
Tamara Chase (14)
Todd Wilkins (31)
Winston Egbert (32)
Elizabeth’s BFF
Amy Sutton (5)
Anna Barrett (1)
Arthur Castle aka Castillo (1)
Belinda "Billie" Layton (1)
Betsy Martin (1)
Brian Boyd (1)
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Kala (1)
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Maria Slater (3)
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Patrick Morris (1)
Poor disabled and homeless Benjamin (1)
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Sam Sloane (1)
Sandra Ferris (1)
Sarah Thomas (1)
Sophia Rizzo (1)
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Winston Egbert (1)
Jessica’s Hobby
Acting (10)
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Ballet (1)
Basketball (2)
Being a Big Sister (1)
Being Charming (1)
Being Jailbait (2)
Being psychic (4)
Being treated like a grownup (3)
Caring about the disabled (2)
Catching Criminals (2)
Ceramics (1)
Changing Herself for a Boy (1)
Cheerleading (3)
Comedy (1)
Cookery (1)
Dogs (yes really) (1)
Fashion Designer (1)
France (1)
Gymnastics (1)
Having her picture taken (1)
Horse Riding (1)
House-Sitting (1)
Hypnosis (1)
Intellectual Property Theft (1)
Ithig (1)
Lying (1)
Modelling (1)
Murder (1)
Predicting Earthquakes (1)
Re-living Days (1)
Running a Student Paper (1)
Saving the Environment (2)
Seals (1)
Singing (6)
Skiing (1)
Softball (1)
Solving Mysteries (1)
Student Council (1)
Surfing (1)
Treasure Hunting (1)
Unabashed EEEVIL (1)
Using her evil powers of scheming for good (3)
Voodoo (1)
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