Dove – Sweet Valley Online

Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #8: Jessica’s First Kiss

Posted on 11 January 202111 January 2021

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #8: Jessica’s First Kiss, which is pointless because Jessica was kissed in book 15, which was 110 books ago. But this book contains camping! Bears! Vomit! EXCITING, YES?

We’re taking December off

Posted on 7 December 20205 December 2020

Just letting you know we’re taking a break and will be back on 4 Jan 2021.

Sweet Valley Twins #103: Elizabeth Solves It All

Posted on 16 November 202016 November 2020

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #103: Elizabeth Solves It All, where this Jamie appears to hate Elizabeth as much as Dove does, and Amy Sutton is surprisingly awesome. Yeah, no, really.

Sweet Valley Twins #100: If I Die Before I Wake

Posted on 28 September 202028 September 2020

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #100: If I Die Before I Wake. What happens? To quote Alice Wakefield, “I don’t think we’ll ever know the answers…” SERIOUSLY? FUCK YOU!

Sweet Valley Twins #97: Too Scared to Sleep

Posted on 31 August 202027 September 2020

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #97: Too Scared to Sleep, the unholy union between Freddy Krueger and Kristy Thomas, where literally nothing happens for 30k words.

Sweet Valley Twins #95: The Battle of the Cheerleaders by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #95: Battle of the Cheerleaders

Posted on 3 August 20203 August 2020

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #95: Battle of the Cheerleaders, and accidentally enjoys it. Note: it’s not about cheerleading. It’s about basketball. And Dove doesn’t understand that at all.

Sweet Valley Twins #93: The Incredible Madame Jessica

Posted on 6 July 20205 July 2020

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #93: The Incredible Madame Jessica wherein Jessica AGAIN thinks she’s psychic, and this book just retreads the last psychic book. The Jamies are running on empty now, aren’t they?

Another amend to the posting schedule

Posted on 8 June 20206 June 2020

Another amend to the posting schedule: Raven is ill (not COVID). We’ll be back on Monday 6 July 2020. Apologies.

Minor Amend to Posting Schedule

Posted on 14 May 202018 May 2020

Minor Amend to Posting Schedule: originally it was recap on 18 May, then week off. Now it’s week off, recap on 25 May. Simples.

Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #9: Evil Elizabeth

Posted on 11 May 202011 May 2020

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #9: Evil Elizabeth where Elizabeth is evil, Steven is useful, Jessica is awesome and Ellen is in character #WINNING

Sweet Valley Twins #88: Steven Gets Even

Posted on 13 April 202014 December 2020

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #88: Steven Gets Even, and between the girl power and a drive-by spagging, the Mercandy backyard theory becomes canon.

Sweet Valley Twins #86: It Can’t Happen Here

Posted on 16 March 202016 March 2020

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #86: It Can’t Happen Here wherein Sweet Valley tackles the Holocaust and the dead rise from the grave. Not hyperbole. #DoveGoesBOOM!

Sweet Valley Twins Magna Edition #3: BIG for Christmas

Posted on 10 February 202016 June 2020

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins Magna Edition #3: BIG for Christmas wherein Jamie Suzanne rips off a well-known plot, gives Elizabeth a spine, and makes me question how slutty silk is.

Sweet Valley Twins #82: Steven’s Enemy

Posted on 13 January 202018 January 2020

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #82: Steven’s Enemy in which she finds new levels of burning hatred for Steven Wakefield

Sweet Valley Twins #80: The Gossip War

Posted on 1 July 201924 August 2020

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #80: The Gossip War, wherein middle school is exactly like the Cold War, Ellen’s dad wears a funny hat, and Johnny Buck again fails to move to Sweet Valley