Evil triplets snarkily recap Sweet Valley Twins, High, University, Confidential & Sweet Life

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Category: Nightmare Mansion

Sweet Valley Twins #100: If I Die Before I Wake

Posted on 28 September 202025 February 2021 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #100: If I Die Before I Wake. What happens? To quote Alice Wakefield, “I don’t think we’ll ever know the answers…” SERIOUSLY? FUCK YOU!

Nightmare Mansion

8 comments

Halloween

Alice Wakefield, Elizabeth Wakefield, Eva Sullivan, Jessica Wakefield, Riccoli kids (x5), Steven Wakefield

Alice Wakefield/Jim Wilkins, Elizabeth Wakefield/Todd Wilkins

Baby-Sitting

Sweet Valley Twins #99: The Beast Must Die

Posted on 21 September 202025 February 2021 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins 99: The Beast Must Die and hates everything. Mostly because of what’s going on in the world, but also the book sucks.

Nightmare Mansion

3 comments

Alice Wakefield, Elizabeth Wakefield, Eva Sullivan, Jessica Wakefield, Riccoli kids (x5), Steven Wakefield

Baby-Sitting

Sweet Valley Twins #98 – The Beast Is Watching You

Posted on 7 September 202027 September 2020 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #98 – The Beast Is Watching You, in which the noble art of babysitting is examined ad infinitum.

Nightmare Mansion

9 comments

Alice Wakefield, Elizabeth Wakefield, Jessica Wakefield, Ned Wakefield, Steven Wakefield, Todd Wilkins, Winston Egbert

Baby-Sitting

Sweet Valley Twins #97: Too Scared to Sleep

Posted on 31 August 202025 February 2021 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #97: Too Scared to Sleep, the unholy union between Freddy Krueger and Kristy Thomas, where literally nothing happens for 30k words.

Nightmare Mansion

5 comments

Alice Wakefield, Amy Sutton, Elizabeth Wakefield, Jessica Wakefield, Riccoli kids (x5), Todd Wilkins, Winston Egbert

Baby-Sitting

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Evil twins, Wing (she/her) and Dove (she/her), trade Point Horror for Sweet Valley. And they have a secret triplet, Raven (he/him), joining them for a dude’s point of view.

We will be recapping Sweet Valley Twins (and all the special editions, including The Unicorn Club) to start with, and if Wing survives that, we may try other Sweet Valley series.

We upload every week for three weeks, and take a week off. We upload the recap on Monday, and the podcast the following weekend.

Our next recap will be Sweet Valley High #5: All Night Long (Raven on 10 Oct 2022) .

Our Podcast music is provided by Stuart Taylor of Legacy Breakfast.

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Raven’s Twinparisons

Elizabeth spends her spare time reading. Jessica spend her spare time listening to the police scanner, desperately hoping her primary burial site remains undetected.

Jessica loves talking about fashion. Elizabeth wears sack-cloth and daubs her face with ashes, which she believes brings her closer to God (in this case, Mr Bowman).

Jessica has many friends, members of the fabled Unicorn Club. Elizabeth surrounds herself with sycophants, and is so lonely her only release is a twice-weekly frot with a battered stuffed koala.

Sweet Valley Twins #69: Won’t Someone Help Anna?

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Category: Nightmare Mansion

Sweet Valley Twins #100: If I Die Before I Wake

Sweet Valley Twins #99: The Beast Must Die

Sweet Valley Twins #98 – The Beast Is Watching You

Sweet Valley Twins #97: Too Scared to Sleep

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