Sweet Valley High #15: Promises
Wing recaps Sweet Valley High #15: Promises and hates every goddamn second of this hypocritical Jessica and death by cancer fucking book.
Continue readingEvil triplets snarkily recap Sweet Valley Twins, High, University, Confidential & Sweet Life
Look, if Saint Elizabeth doesn’t think it’s a big deal, all this bullying probably won’t have any negative effects on anyone.
Wing recaps Sweet Valley High #15: Promises and hates every goddamn second of this hypocritical Jessica and death by cancer fucking book.
Continue readingWing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #12: When Love Dies, and it’s probably a mistake to spend so much time talking about a character dying from cancer. Ah well.
Continue readingDove recaps Sweet Valley High #10: Wrong Kind of Girl, where Jessica AGAIN bullies a perfectly nice girl. TRIGGER WARNING: suicide
Continue readingWing recaps Sweet Valley Junior High #2: One 2 Many and is so. fucking. charmed. Friendships! Sisterhood! Emotional character growth! How is this series so damn cute?!
Continue readingDove recaps Sweet Valley High #4: Power Play and goes BOOM every few paragraphs. Also Liz doesn’t understand sarcasm or metaphors. Seriously.
Continue readingWing recaps Sweet Valley High #3: Playing With Fire and three books in, she’s burning Sweet Valley to the ground.
Continue readingDove recaps Sweet Valley High #2: Secrets in which Enid Rollins is the only decent human being
Continue readingTitle: Jessica: Next Stop: Jr High Summary: Sunscreen alert! Jessica and the Unicorns are headed for the balmy, boy-filled beaches
Continue readingWing recaps The Unicorn Club #17: Boyfriends for Everyone, AND THE STRENGTH OF HER RAGE COULD DESTROY THE WORLD. FUCK UNICORN “FRIENDSHIP.” FUCK EVERYTHING.
Continue readingRaven recaps The Unicorn Club #10: Mandy In The Middle, in which Mandy is obsessed with Randall, Lila is obsessed with Mandy, and Raven is obsessed with the word count.
Continue readingTitle: Kimberly Rides Again Tagline: The Unicorns hit the trail! Summary: Guess what? Just when the Unicorns were finally back
Continue readingDove recaps The Unicorn Club #6: Unicorns at War (Super Edition) which is a rehash of Tug of War if blank-page Bella from Twilight was a main character #NotMyMandy
Continue readingRaven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #117: Down With Queen Janet, in which Janet Howell does a very passible impersonation of Kyle’s Mom.
Continue readingWing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #93: Don’t Talk to Brian wherein Brian the Nazi is redeemed. Wing takes this about as well as you’d think.
Continue readingDove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #86: It Can’t Happen Here wherein Sweet Valley tackles the Holocaust and the dead rise from the grave. Not hyperbole. #DoveGoesBOOM!
Continue readingDove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #80: The Gossip War, wherein middle school is exactly like the Cold War, Ellen’s dad wears a funny hat, and Johnny Buck again fails to move to Sweet Valley
Continue readingDove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #42: Jessica’s Secret, wherein we find people both stupider and bitchier than the Unicorns, and Elizabeth wants to know: HAVE YOU STARTED YOUR PERIOD?
Continue readingRaven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #38: Lois Strikes Back, in which Sweet Valley’s resident fatso climbs on a bike in the name of charity…
Continue readingDove recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #1: The Christmas Ghost, which is a Sweet Valley retelling of A Christmas Carol, with pop stars and talking unicorns (not the girl gang), and loads of versions of Jessica… all of which she takes a few minutes to identify as being herself (or Liz).
Continue readingRaven recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #3: The Big Camp Secret, in which the Wakefield Twins attend a Sleepaway Camp, and ACTUALLY ENTER A CONTEST THEY DON’T WIN.
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