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Evil triplets snarkily recap Sweet Valley Twins, High, University, Confidential & Sweet Life

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Jessica's Hobby: Being Jailbait

Sweet Valley Twins #82: Steven’s Enemy book cover

Sweet Valley Twins #82: Steven’s Enemy

Posted on 13 January 202018 January 2020 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #82: Steven’s Enemy in which she finds new levels of burning hatred for Steven Wakefield

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Sweet Valley Twins
13 comments
  Amy Sutton, Ben Oliver, Cathy Connors, Elizabeth Wakefield, Janet Howell, Jessica Wakefield, Joe (aka "Sam") Howell, Steven Wakefield, Veronica Brooks
  Janet Howell/Denny Jacobson, Janet Howell/Doug, Jessica Wakefield/Aaron Dallas, Jessica Wakefield/Ben Oliver, Steven Wakefield/Cathy Connors, Steven Wakefield/Veronica Brooks
  Amy Sutton
  Basketball, Being Jailbait
Sweet Valley Twins 15: The Older Boy - Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #15: The Older Boy

Posted on 8 May 201715 December 2018 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins 15: The Older Boy… and loves it. Despite the easily-apparent squicky idea of a twelve year old dating a sixteen year old, this Jamie Suzanne seems to have pulled it off.

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Sweet Valley Twins
2 comments
  Jessica's First Kiss
  Alice Wakefield, Amy Sutton, Anita Pearce, Caroline Pearce, Elizabeth Wakefield, Jessica Wakefield, Josh Angler, Lila Fowler, Steven Wakefield
  Jessica Wakefield/Josh Angler
  Being Jailbait

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About

Evil twins, Wing (she/her) and Dove (she/her), trade Point Horror for Sweet Valley. And they have a secret triplet, Raven (he/him), joining them for a dude’s point of view.

We will be recapping Sweet Valley Twins (and all the special editions, including The Unicorn Club) to start with, and if Wing survives that, we may try other Sweet Valley series.

We will upload a recap every Monday for three weeks, and a podcast on the fourth.

Our next recap will be The Unicorn Club #21: Snow Bunnies recapped by Dove on 23 May 2022.

Our Podcast music is provided by Stuart Taylor of Legacy Breakfast.

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Raven’s Twinparisons

Jessica loves being popular, fashion, and boys. Elizabeth despises most of humanity, wears a sack, and is a raging lesbanim.

Jessica is a Great Old One, spawned in the fires of bile that spew forth from the putrescent cadavers of a million dead innocents. Elizabeth likes horses.

The Wakefield Twins look alike, but they are different as a baby hedgehog and Robert Mugabe.

Elizabeth is great at something, and something else. Jessica, however, prefers a third thing, and even a fourth! Imagine the hilarity. Seriously, imagine it.

Sweet Valley Twins #6: The New Girl

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Recent Comments

  • Dove on The Unicorn Club #20: In Love with Mandy
  • Liz is a Fat Virgin on The Unicorn Club #20: In Love with Mandy
  • The Unicorn Club #16: Bon Voyage, Unicorns – Sweet Valley Online on The Unicorn Club #8: Kimberly Rides Again
  • The Unicorn Club #16: Bon Voyage, Unicorns – Sweet Valley Online on Team Sweet Valley #2: Win One For Sandra
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Tags

#BestJamieSuzanne #TeamGrapplegate A+ parenting Always With the Incest Bleak Valley aka Sweet Valley Low Book-long soulmates comments by Dove comments by Raven comments by Wing Dance Baby Dance Don't be a bully be a star Double Dipping Plot Dove goes BOOM! Elizabeth Has A Spine! Ewww poor people! For the hundred and thirty-seventh time... FUCK YOU TAMARA CHASE Great Ghosties I'm running away! I'm scared of Jessica I HATE STEVEN Jessica's New Fave Hobby lo! a haunted house Needs More Werewolves No means no - unless you're Jessica Plucky girl detectives Poor little Jessica Raven disapproves of the faculty Raven goes BOOM Shame you're not a perfect size 6 sketchy student-teacher relationships Something Must Be Done SUPERNATURAL OOOOH Sweet Valley Time THANK GOD FOR ELIZABETH That brand new tradition we've always had The new girl/boy The tears of a saint The twins CANNOT sing The twins CAN sing too many Peters TWIN MAGIC Wakefields Must Win Wing's heart grew 10 sizes Wing goes BOOM

Characters

Aaron Dallas Alice Wakefield Amy Sutton Belinda "Billie" Layton Betsy Gordon Brooke Dennis Bruce Patman Caroline Pearce Cathy Connors Charlie Cashman Denny Jacobson Elizabeth Wakefield Ellen Riteman Evie Kim George Fowler Grace Oliver Janet Howell Jerry McAllister Jessica Wakefield Joe (aka "Sam") Howell Julie Porter Ken Matthews Kimberly Haver Lila Fowler Lois Waller Mandy Miller Maria Slater Mary Giaccio-Robinson-Wallace Melissa McCormick Mr Bowman Mr Clark Mr Nydick Mrs Arnette Ms Wyler Ned Wakefield Nora Mercandy Olivia Davidson Patrick Morris Rick Hunter Sarah Thomas Sophia Rizzo Steven Wakefield Tamara Chase Todd Wilkins Winston Egbert

Elizabeth’s BFF

Amy Sutton (5) Anna Barrett (1) Arthur Castle aka Castillo (1) Belinda "Billie" Layton (1) Betsy Martin (1) Brian Boyd (1) Brooke Dennis (3) Cammi Adams (1) Chrissy Steele (1) Christoph Bachmann (1) Danny Jackson (1) Denny Jacobson (but not through choice) (1) Dylan McKay (1) George Henkel (1) Ginny Lu Culpepper (1) Grace Oliver (1) Joe Carrey (1) Kala (1) Ken Matthews (2) Leslie Forsythe (1) Lila Fowler (2) Lois Waller (2) Lucy Benson (1) Mandy Miller (1) Maria Slater (3) Mary Giaccio-Robinson-Wallace (3) Melissa McCormick (1) Miranda Page (1) Nora Mercandy (1) Pamela Jacobson (1) Pamela McDonald (1) Patrick Morris (1) Poor disabled and homeless Benjamin (1) Robin (Wakefield?) (3) Samantha Williams (1) Sam Sloane (1) Sandra Ferris (1) Sarah Thomas (1) Sophia Rizzo (1) Starr Johnson (1) The (homeless) Glass family (1) Winston Egbert (1)

Jessica’s Hobby

Acting (10) Animals (1) Baby-Sitting (5) Ballet (1) Basketball (2) Being a Big Sister (1) Being Charming (1) Being Jailbait (2) Being psychic (4) Being treated like a grownup (3) Caring about the disabled (2) Catching Criminals (2) Ceramics (1) Cheerleading (2) Comedy (1) Cookery (1) Dogs (yes really) (1) Fashion Designer (1) France (1) Gymnastics (1) Having her picture taken (1) Horse Riding (1) House-Sitting (1) Hypnosis (1) Intellectual Property Theft (1) Ithig (1) Lying (1) Modelling (1) Pranks (1) Predicting Earthquakes (1) Re-living Days (1) Rollerblading (1) Running a Student Paper (1) Saving the Environment (2) Scuba Diving (1) Seals (1) Singing (6) Softball (1) Solving Mysteries (1) Student Council (1) Treasure Hunting (1) Unabashed EEEVIL (1) Using her evil powers of scheming for good (3) Voodoo (1)
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