Sweet Valley Twins #3: The Haunted House
Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #3: The Haunted House, where the entire school mistakes an orphan for a witch, and bullies her accordingly.
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elizabeth-bff: Nora Mercandy
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About
Evil twins, Wing and Dove, trade Point Horror for Sweet Valley. And they have a secret triplet, Raven, joining them for a dude’s point of view.
We will be recapping Sweet Valley Twins (and all the special editions, including The Unicorn Club) to start with, and if Wing survives that, we may try other Sweet Valley series.
We will upload a recap every Monday for three weeks, and a podcast on the fourth.
Our Podcast music is provided by Stuart Taylor of Legacy Breakfast.
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Raven’s Twinparisons
This is the story of the two perfect twins
One is a monster, one died for your sins
One is warm hearted, while the other’s much colder
Both have a dimple, one’s four minutes older.
The first twin’s Elizabeth, she longs to be a writer
Unlike her other half, she’s a lover, not a fighter.
She fixes problems plaguing each and every waif and stray
If you’re new, you’re sure to be her Best Friend For A Day.
The second twin is Jessica. She likes boys and dancing,
The Unicorns and purple, parties and romancing.
She loves the thought of Hollywood, awash with glitz and glamour,
And caving in the skulls of fucking bitches with her hammer.
Together they are bulletproof, a family like no other,
With idiotic parents and dim incesty brother.
Blonde, blue eyed and Aryan, straight from a Nazi rally,
Sieg Heil to the Wakefields. Welcome to Sweet Valley.
Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #2: The Ghost in the Graveyard
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comments by Dove
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Dance Baby Dance
Don't be a bully be a star
Double Dipping Plot
Dove goes BOOM!
Elizabeth Has A Spine!
Ewww poor people!
For the hundred and thirty-seventh time...
FUCK YOU TAMARA CHASE
Great Ghosties
I'm running away!
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Jessica's New Fave Hobby
lo! a haunted house
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Raven goes BOOM
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too many Peters
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