Sweet Valley Twins #3: The Haunted House
Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #3: The Haunted House, where the entire school mistakes an orphan for a witch, and bullies her accordingly.
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elizabeth-bff: Nora Mercandy
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About
Evil twins, Wing and Dove, trade Point Horror for Sweet Valley. And they have a secret triplet, Raven, joining them for a dude’s point of view.
We will be recapping Sweet Valley Twins (and all the special editions, including The Unicorn Club) to start with, and if Wing survives that, we may try other Sweet Valley series.
We will upload a recap every Monday for three weeks, and a podcast on the fourth.
Our Podcast music is provided by Stuart Taylor of Legacy Breakfast.
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Raven’s Twinparisons
While they look alike, the twins’ personalities couldn’t be more different. For example, Jessica’s friends are very much a reflection of her: pretty, bitchy, vacuous wastes of skin, while Elizabeth’s friends reflect her to perfection: boring, sanctimonious spunkwaffles.
Elizabeth enjoys reading mystery novels, and revels in solving the fictitious crimes within. Jessica enjoys committing actual crimes, and revels in evading capture while succumbing to her murderous urges.
Even though they were so very different, the twins had one beautiful thing in common: Steven would fuck them both.
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Tags
#BestJamieSuzanne
#TeamGrapplegate
A+ parenting
Always With the Incest
Bleak Valley aka Sweet Valley Low
Book-long soulmates
comments by Dove
comments by Raven
comments by Wing
Dance Baby Dance
Don't be a bully be a star
Double Dipping Plot
Dove goes BOOM!
Elizabeth Has A Spine!
Ewww poor people!
For the hundred and thirty-seventh time...
FUCK YOU TAMARA CHASE
Great Ghosties
I'm running away!
I'm scared of Jessica
I HATE STEVEN
Jessica's New Fave Hobby
lo! a haunted house
MOAR IDENTICAL TWINS
Needs More Werewolves
No means no - unless you're Jessica
Plucky girl detectives
Poor little Jessica
Raven disapproves of the faculty
Raven goes BOOM
Shame you're not a perfect size 6
sketchy student-teacher relationships
Something Must Be Done
SUPERNATURAL OOOOH
Sweet Valley Time
THANK GOD FOR ELIZABETH
That brand new tradition we've always had
The new girl/boy
The tears of a saint
The twins CAN sing
too many Peters
TWIN MAGIC
Wakefields Must Win
Wing's heart grew 10 sizes
Wing goes BOOM
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Aaron Dallas
Alice Wakefield
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Elizabeth Wakefield
Ellen Riteman
Grace Oliver
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Mary Giaccio-Robinson-Wallace
Melissa McCormick
Mr Bowman
Mr Nydick
Mrs Arnette
Ms Wyler
Ned Wakefield
Nora Mercandy
Olivia Davidson
Randy Mason
Rick Hunter
Robin (Wakefield?)
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Sarah Thomas
Sophia Rizzo
Steven Wakefield
Tamara Chase
Todd Wilkins
Winston Egbert
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predicting earthquakes (1)
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Using her evil powers of scheming for good (3)
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