Sweet Valley Twins #3: The Haunted House
Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #3: The Haunted House, where the entire school mistakes an orphan for a witch, and bullies her accordingly.
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Book-long BFF: Nora Mercandy
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About
Evil twins, Wing (she/her) and Dove (she/her), trade Point Horror for Sweet Valley. And they have a secret triplet, Raven (he/him), joining them for a dude’s point of view.
We will be recapping Sweet Valley Twins (and all the special editions, including The Unicorn Club) to start with, and if Wing survives that, we may try other Sweet Valley series.
We will upload a recap every Monday for three weeks, and a podcast on the fourth.
Our next recap will be The Unicorn Club #22: Jessica’s Dream Date recapped by Raven on 6 Jun 2022.
Our Podcast music is provided by Stuart Taylor of Legacy Breakfast.
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Raven’s Twinparisons
Elizabeth is a fan of Amada Howard mysteries, while Jessica would kill everyone she knows for the chance to nibble one of Johnny Buck’s nuttiest turds.
Jessica would slit your throat while you slept. Elizabeth would salve the wound with her healing tears, weeping at the woes of the world.
Elizabeth frots herself to a frenzy against a threadbare and traumatised stuffed koala every night. Jessica’s favourite colour is purple.
Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #9: The Twins Go To College
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#BestJamieSuzanne
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A+ parenting
Always With the Incest
Bleak Valley aka Sweet Valley Low
Book-long soulmates
comments by Dove
comments by Raven
comments by Wing
Dance Baby Dance
Don't be a bully be a star
Double Dipping Plot
Dove goes BOOM!
Elizabeth Has A Spine!
Ewww poor people!
For the hundred and thirty-seventh time...
FUCK YOU TAMARA CHASE
Great Ghosties
I'm running away!
I'm scared of Jessica
I HATE STEVEN
Jessica's New Fave Hobby
lo! a haunted house
Needs More Werewolves
No means no - unless you're Jessica
Plucky girl detectives
Poor little Jessica
Raven disapproves of the faculty
Raven goes BOOM
Shame you're not a perfect size 6
sketchy student-teacher relationships
Something Must Be Done
SUPERNATURAL OOOOH
Sweet Valley Time
THANK GOD FOR ELIZABETH
That brand new tradition we've always had
The new girl/boy
The tears of a saint
The twins CANNOT sing
The twins CAN sing
too many Peters
TWIN MAGIC
Wakefields Must Win
Wing's heart grew 10 sizes
Wing goes BOOM
Characters
Aaron Dallas
Alice Wakefield
Amy Sutton
Belinda "Billie" Layton
Betsy Gordon
Brooke Dennis
Bruce Patman
Caroline Pearce
Cathy Connors
Charlie Cashman
Denny Jacobson
Elizabeth Wakefield
Ellen Riteman
Evie Kim
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Melissa McCormick
Mr Bowman
Mr Clark
Mr Nydick
Mrs Arnette
Ms Wyler
Ned Wakefield
Nora Mercandy
Olivia Davidson
Patrick Morris
Rick Hunter
Sarah Thomas
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Steven Wakefield
Tamara Chase
Todd Wilkins
Winston Egbert
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Sam Sloane (1)
Sandra Ferris (1)
Sarah Thomas (1)
Sophia Rizzo (1)
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Jessica’s Hobby
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Scuba Diving (1)
Seals (1)
Singing (6)
Skiing (1)
Softball (1)
Solving Mysteries (1)
Student Council (1)
Treasure Hunting (1)
Unabashed EEEVIL (1)
Using her evil powers of scheming for good (3)
Voodoo (1)
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