A+ parenting

Sweet Valley Twins #100: If I Die Before I Wake

Posted on 28 September 202028 September 2020

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #100: If I Die Before I Wake. What happens? To quote Alice Wakefield, “I don’t think we’ll ever know the answers…” SERIOUSLY? FUCK YOU!

Sweet Valley Twins #99: The Beast Must Die

Posted on 21 September 202027 September 2020

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins 99: The Beast Must Die and hates everything. Mostly because of what’s going on in the world, but also the book sucks.

Sweet Valley Twins #98 – The Beast Is Watching You

Posted on 7 September 202027 September 2020

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #98 – The Beast Is Watching You, in which the noble art of babysitting is examined ad infinitum.

Sweet Valley Twins #97: Too Scared to Sleep

Posted on 31 August 202027 September 2020

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #97: Too Scared to Sleep, the unholy union between Freddy Krueger and Kristy Thomas, where literally nothing happens for 30k words.

Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #7: Jessica’s Animal Instincts

Posted on 24 August 202024 August 2020

Title: Jessica’s Animal Instincts Tagline: Jessica has a new friend… a grizzly bear cub! Summary: Furry new friends… Taking care of animals is easy! That’s what identical twins Elizabeth and Jessica Wakefield and their friends think when they volunteer at the Sweet Valley Zoo. Until Elizabeth accidentally lets a mischievous monkey named Spanky out of…

Sweet Valley Twins #93: Don’t Talk to Brian

Posted on 27 July 202027 July 2020

Wing (@devilselbowpod) recaps Sweet Valley Twins #93: Don’t Talk to Brian wherein Brian the Nazi is redeemed. Wing takes this about as well as you’d think.

Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #6: The Twins Take Paris

Posted on 13 July 202013 July 2020

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #6: The Twins Take Paris, in which the twins run away, then run away again. Then run away again. And again.

Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #9: Evil Elizabeth

Posted on 11 May 202011 May 2020

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #9: Evil Elizabeth where Elizabeth is evil, Steven is useful, Jessica is awesome and Ellen is in character #WINNING

Sweet Valley Twins #89: Jessica’s Cookie Disaster

Posted on 20 April 202020 April 2020

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #89: Jessica’s Cookie Disaster, in which Jessica could have poisoned an entire Home Ec class with a little more dedication.

Sweet Valley Twins #87: The Mother-Daughter Switch

Posted on 23 March 202023 March 2020

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #87: The Mother-Daughter Switch, in which the twins play Alice, Elizabeth plays Jessica, and Alice plays a bellend.

Sweet Valley Twins #85: Elizabeth the Seventh-Grader

Posted on 9 March 20209 March 2020

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #85: Elizabeth the Seventh-Grader, and Raven is right: Sweet Valley Middle School has the worst teachers in the world. BURN. IT. DOWN.

Sweet Valley Twins Magna Edition #3: BIG for Christmas

Posted on 10 February 202016 June 2020

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins Magna Edition #3: BIG for Christmas wherein Jamie Suzanne rips off a well-known plot, gives Elizabeth a spine, and makes me question how slutty silk is.

Sweet Valley Twins #77: Todd Runs Away

Posted on 26 March 201926 March 2019

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #77: Todd Runs Away, and, shock of all shocks, REALLY LIKES TODD WILKINS. Who replaced her with some sort of Sweet Valley pod person?!

Sweet Valley Twins #75: Jessica and the Earthquake

Posted on 4 March 20194 March 2019

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #75: Jessica and the Earthquake, which unfortunately does not have the same body count as the Sweet Valley High book called Earthquake.

Sweet Valley Twins #68: The Middle School Gets Married

Posted on 10 December 20187 June 2020

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #68: The Middle School Gets Married, wherein each twin gets paired with an even worse version of themself and wacky hi-jinks ensue with bonus baby (egg) death! #RIPStevenFidos #NeverForget