character: Jessica Wakefield

Aspiring serial killer. Utterly selfish and ruthless, snobby and vapid.

Sweet Valley Twins #118: No Escape!

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #118: No Escape!, the last in the main SVT series – where Mr Seigel is crowned GOD OF TERRIBLE TEACHERS and Dove becomes Team Elizabeth in response.

Continue reading

Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #11: Jessica’s No Angel

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #11: Jessica’s No Angel, wherein – for the second time ever – Elizabeth is the greatest character ever.

Continue reading

Sweet Valley Twins #114: The Boyfriend Mess

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #114: The Boyfriend Mess and there are love triangles, miscommunications, and dating shenanigans everywhere. EVERYWHERE.

Continue reading

Sweet Valley Twins #113: The Boyfriend Game

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #113: The Boyfriend Game, which pays homage to a legendary Eighties television gameshow, in a frankly incomprehensible way.

Continue reading

Sweet Valley Twins #112: If Looks Could Kill

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins 112 If Looks Could Kill and a boring set of love triangles becomes an entertaining KILL THEM ALL game. Metaphorically, alas.

Continue reading

Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #10: The Year Without Christmas

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #10: The Year Without Christmas wherein Jessica relives Christmas Eve over and over and over… and contemplates murdering Amy Sutton

Continue reading

Sweet Valley Twins #110: Pumpkin Fever

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins 110: Pumpkin Fever in which Jessica wants to be crowned Halloween Queen, and will stop at nothing to achieve it, including murdering a fictional squirrel!

Continue reading

Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #9: The Twins Go To College

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #9: The Twins Go To College, in which there’s so much inappropriate grooming it might as well be called Sweet Valley Lolita.

Continue reading

Sweet Valley Twins #106: Breakfast of Enemies

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #106: Breakfast of Enemies, in which the sass is electric, the cereal is inedible, and Jessica needs to have a word with herself.

Continue reading

Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #8: Jessica’s First Kiss

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #8: Jessica’s First Kiss, which is pointless because Jessica was kissed in book 15, which was 110 books ago. But this book contains camping! Bears! Vomit! EXCITING, YES?

Continue reading

Sweet Valley Twins #103: Big Brother’s In Love Again

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #103: Big Brother’s In Love Again, in which Steven Wakefield is a Class A copper-plated bobby-dazzling bellend.

Continue reading