Character: Jessica Wakefield

Aspiring serial killer. Utterly selfish and ruthless, snobby and vapid.

The Unicorn Club #6: Unicorns at War (Super Edition)

Posted on 25 October 202127 October 2021 by Dove

Dove recaps The Unicorn Club #6: Unicorns at War (Super Edition) which is a rehash of Tug of War if blank-page Bella from Twilight was a main character #NotMyMandy

The Unicorn Club #5: Unicorns in Love

Posted on 19 October 202119 October 2021 by Wing

Title: Unicorns In Love Tagline: Blinded by love… Summary: The Unicorns are over… finished for good. But this time we

The Unicorn Club #4: Lila’s Little Sister

Posted on 12 October 202112 October 2021 by Raven

Raven recaps The Unicorn Club #4: Lila’s Little Sister, in which Lila Fowler’s life is upended by a four-year-old spawn of pure evil.

The Unicorn Club #3: The Best Friend Game

Posted on 27 September 20219 October 2021 by Raven

Title: The Best Friend Game Tagline: Winner take all… Summary: Can you believe there’s a new club at Sweet Valley

The Unicorn Club #2: Maria’s Movie Comeback

Posted on 21 September 202121 September 2021 by Wing

Wing recaps The Unicorn Club #2: Maria’s Move Comeback and actually there’s some amazing character work and friendships while Maria stresses the hell out in a super sympathetic way.

The Unicorn Club #1: Save the Unicorns!

Posted on 6 September 20216 September 2021 by Dove

Dove recaps Save the Unicorns! and cannot stop gushing about how bloody fantastic it is, we have daring flood rescues, fabulous parties and righteous demonstrations, not to mention great girl friendships!

Team Sweet Valley #1: Jessica Goes for Gold

Posted on 5 July 20215 July 2021 by Wing

Wing recaps Team Sweet Valley #1: Jessica Goes for the Gold and it fails completely at being a sports book BUT ROCKS AT BEING AN ENEMIES TO FRIENDS (TO LOVERS) BOOK.

Sweet Valley Twins #118: No Escape!

Posted on 21 June 202121 June 2021 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #118: No Escape!, the last in the main SVT series – where Mr Seigel is crowned GOD OF TERRIBLE TEACHERS and Dove becomes Team Elizabeth in response.

Sweet Valley Twins #117: Down With Queen Janet!

Posted on 14 June 202127 June 2021 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #117: Down With Queen Janet, in which Janet Howell does a very passible impersonation of Kyle’s Mom.

Sweet Valley Twins #116: Jessica Takes Charge

Posted on 7 June 20214 September 2021 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #116 Jessica Takes Charge and is shocked when the book touches on racist institutions and social injustice without completely handwaving it off.

Sweet Valley Twins #115: Happy Mother’s Day, Lila

Posted on 24 May 202124 May 2021 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #115: Happy Mother’s Day, Lila, in which Jessica does something UNFORGIVEABLE amidst the tears, tantrums and sass.

Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #11: Jessica’s No Angel

Posted on 10 May 20215 September 2021 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #11: Jessica’s No Angel, wherein – for the second time ever – Elizabeth is the greatest character ever.

Sweet Valley Twins #114: The Boyfriend Mess

Posted on 4 May 20213 May 2021 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #114: The Boyfriend Mess and there are love triangles, miscommunications, and dating shenanigans everywhere. EVERYWHERE.

Sweet Valley Twins #113: The Boyfriend Game

Posted on 19 April 202119 April 2021 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #113: The Boyfriend Game, which pays homage to a legendary Eighties television gameshow, in a frankly incomprehensible way.

Sweet Valley Twins #112: If Looks Could Kill

Posted on 12 April 202112 April 2021 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins 112 If Looks Could Kill and a boring set of love triangles becomes an entertaining KILL THEM ALL game. Metaphorically, alas.

Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #10: The Year Without Christmas

Posted on 5 April 20215 April 2021 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #10: The Year Without Christmas wherein Jessica relives Christmas Eve over and over and over… and contemplates murdering Amy Sutton

Sweet Valley Twins #111: Sisters at War

Posted on 22 March 202122 March 2021 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #111: Sisters at War, and wishes that time travel was a thing, so he could rewind to the day before he read it.

Sweet Valley Twins #110: Pumpkin Fever

Posted on 15 March 202115 March 2021 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins 110: Pumpkin Fever in which Jessica wants to be crowned Halloween Queen, and will stop at nothing to achieve it, including murdering a fictional squirrel!

Sweet Valley Twins #109: Don’t Go Into the Basement

Posted on 8 March 202114 March 2021 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #109: Don’t Go into the Basement and there’s some sleuthing afoot.

Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #9: The Twins Go To College

Posted on 22 February 202122 February 2021 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #9: The Twins Go To College, in which there’s so much inappropriate grooming it might as well be called Sweet Valley Lolita.