Tag: Plucky girl detectives

Crime happening in Sweet Valley? (Surely not! Tony Rizzo, put that VCR down!) Don’t worry, the Wakefields are on the case. Usually it’s Elizabeth, but sometimes Jessica helps too. Officer Carey has nothing on the incisive mind of Elizabeth Wakefield. Hell, Columbo, Poirot and Sherlock combined would be flummoxed by the amazing way this twelve year old can solve crime!

Sweet Valley High #26: Hostage!

Posted on 15 May 202321 May 2023 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley High #26: Hostage!, which features hostages, daring rescues, useless police, and… random shit about Ken Matthews failing English.

Sweet Valley High #13: Kidnapped!

Posted on 2 January 20238 January 2023 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley High #13: Kidnapped!, a misleading book because 71% of the book is not about a kidnapping. It’s about the value of homework. FFS.

Sweet Valley High #12: When Love Dies

Posted on 12 December 202212 December 2022 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #12: When Love Dies, and it’s probably a mistake to spend so much time talking about a character dying from cancer. Ah well.

The Unicorn Club #19: The Most Beautiful Girl in the World

Posted on 9 May 20229 May 2022 by Raven

Raven recaps The Unicorn Club #19: The Most Beautiful Girl in the World, in which the Unicorns discover you can be TOO thin, while simultaneously reminding us you can be too fat.

Sweet Valley Twins #116: Jessica Takes Charge

Posted on 7 June 20214 September 2021 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #116 Jessica Takes Charge and is shocked when the book touches on racist institutions and social injustice without completely handwaving it off.

Sweet Valley Twins #109: Don’t Go Into the Basement

Posted on 8 March 202114 March 2021 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #109: Don’t Go into the Basement and there’s some sleuthing afoot.

Sweet Valley Twins #96: Elizabeth the Spy

Posted on 10 August 20201 July 2021 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #95: Elizabeth the Spy, in which Elizabeth commits perjury in order to secure her supply of thick strawberry milkshakes.

Sweet Valley Twins #91: Deadly Voyage

Posted on 25 May 202025 February 2021 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #91: Deadly Voyage, in which there’s genuine, terrifying, nail-biting peril. And the best line EVER from Tamara Chase.

Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #8: The Secret of the Magic Pen

Posted on 6 April 20206 April 2020 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #8: The Secret of the Magic Pen, wherein the twins go to summer camp (again) and Elizabeth finds a pen in a cave.

Sweet Valley Twins #81: Robbery At The Mall

Posted on 6 January 20206 January 2020 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #81: Robbery At The Mall, in which Elizabeth Wakefield channels John McClane to bring down a crime ring.

Sweet Valley Twins #73: Lila’s Music Video

Posted on 4 February 201925 February 2021 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #73: Lila’s Music Video wherein Lila eats off-brand ice cream and learns the value of friendship (again)

Sweet Valley Twins #72: The Love Potion

Posted on 28 January 201918 October 2021 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #72: The Love Potion, wherein the Unicorns make a love potion. What, you thought it was a clever title?

Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #5: The Curse of the Ruby Necklace by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #5: The Curse of the Ruby Necklace

Posted on 1 January 201921 February 2021 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #5: The Curse of the Ruby Necklace and it has everything wonderful! Vengeful ghosts! Murder mysteries! #bestjess everywhere!

Sweet Valley Twins #67: Jessica the Thief

Posted on 3 December 201825 February 2021 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #67: Jessica the Thief, and it’s fun enough for an overdone plot and subplot. Also: Jessica is a damn thief all the damn time. Except this time.

Sweet Valley Twins #64: The Charm School Mystery

Posted on 22 October 201825 February 2021 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #64: The Charm School Mystery, which abounds with mystery and a little schooling, but has infinite charm.

Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #4: The Ghost in the Bell Tower by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #4: The Ghost in the Bell Tower

Posted on 10 September 201821 February 2021 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #4: The Ghost in the Bell Tower by Francine Pascal and it’s great, creepy fun … except the point is to make Elizabeth believe in ghosts AND SHE ALREADY SHOULD.

Sweet Valley Twins #56: The Wakefields Strike It Rich

Posted on 30 July 201813 June 2021 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #56: The Wakefields Strike It Rich, in which Great Aunt Helen gives the Wakefield Siblings a large cash payout, and a reason for them to murder her for a sizeable inheritance.

Sweet Valley Twins #50: Jessica and the Secret Star

Posted on 28 May 201821 February 2021 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #50: Jessica and the Secret Star, in which the New Girl has a dark and mysterious toilet-paper-shaped past…

Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #3: The Carnival Ghost by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #3: The Carnival Ghost

Posted on 26 March 20181 April 2023 by Wing

Wing forgot to fill this in, so Dove will summarise: Wing falls hopelessly in love with this awesome story, wherein Liz makes BFFs with a ghost, Lila is sass personified, Jessica is a true believer, and DOVE WAS RIGHT THAT THIS IS THE BEST SWEET VALLEY BOOK EVER.

Sweet Valley Twins #38: Lois Strikes Back

Posted on 15 January 201828 June 2018 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #38: Lois Strikes Back, in which Sweet Valley’s resident fatso climbs on a bike in the name of charity…