Sweet Valley Online

Sweet Valley Twins #90: The Cousin War

Posted on 4 May 202025 February 2021 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins 90: The Cousin War and it is love octagon farce in the most delightful ways.

Sweet Valley Twins #89: Jessica’s Cookie Disaster

Posted on 20 April 202025 February 2021 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #89: Jessica’s Cookie Disaster, in which Jessica could have poisoned an entire Home Ec class with a little more dedication.

Sweet Valley Twins #88: Steven Gets Even

Posted on 13 April 202025 February 2021 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #88: Steven Gets Even, and between the girl power and a drive-by spagging, the Mercandy backyard theory becomes canon.

Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #8: The Secret of the Magic Pen

Posted on 6 April 20206 April 2020 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #8: The Secret of the Magic Pen, wherein the twins go to summer camp (again) and Elizabeth finds a pen in a cave.

Sweet Valley Twins #87: The Mother-Daughter Switch

Posted on 23 March 202025 February 2021 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #87: The Mother-Daughter Switch, in which the twins play Alice, Elizabeth plays Jessica, and Alice plays a bellend.

Sweet Valley Twins #86: It Can’t Happen Here

Posted on 16 March 202025 February 2021 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #86: It Can’t Happen Here wherein Sweet Valley tackles the Holocaust and the dead rise from the grave. Not hyperbole. #DoveGoesBOOM!

Sweet Valley Twins #85: Elizabeth the Seventh-Grader

Posted on 9 March 202025 February 2021 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #85: Elizabeth the Seventh-Grader, and Raven is right: Sweet Valley Middle School has the worst teachers in the world. BURN. IT. DOWN.

Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #5: Lila’s Secret Valentine

Posted on 24 February 202023 February 2020 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #5: Lila’s Secret Valentine, in which Lila falls for a bit of rough, and Todd Wilkins is completely insufferable.

Sweet Valley Twins #84: Romeo and Two Juliets

Posted on 17 February 202025 February 2021 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #84: Romeo and Two Juliets and it is filled with delightful Twin … what’s the opposite of Magic? That.

Sweet Valley Twins Magna Edition #3: BIG for Christmas

Posted on 10 February 202016 June 2020 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins Magna Edition #3: BIG for Christmas wherein Jamie Suzanne rips off a well-known plot, gives Elizabeth a spine, and makes me question how slutty silk is.

Sweet Valley Twins #83: Amy’s Secret Sister

Posted on 28 January 202028 January 2020 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #83: Amy’s Secret Sister, in which Amy v2.0 charms everyone in a thirty mile radius.

Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #7: The Haunted Burial Ground

Posted on 20 January 202025 February 2021 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #7: The Haunted Burial Ground AND DEAR GOD THE CULTURAL APPROPRIATION BULLSHIT.

Sweet Valley Twins #82: Steven’s Enemy

Posted on 13 January 202018 January 2020 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #82: Steven’s Enemy in which she finds new levels of burning hatred for Steven Wakefield

Sweet Valley Twins #81: Robbery At The Mall

Posted on 6 January 20206 January 2020 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #81: Robbery At The Mall, in which Elizabeth Wakefield channels John McClane to bring down a crime ring.

Episode 34: The Slime That Ate Sweet Valley

Posted on 30 September 20196 November 2019 by Raven

Wing, Raven and Dove talk about Sweet Valley Twins 53: The Slime That Ate Sweet Valley. They also discuss Bleak Valley and how the book ties into this theory.

Sweet Valley Twins #80: The Gossip War

Posted on 1 July 201925 February 2021 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #80: The Gossip War, wherein middle school is exactly like the Cold War, Ellen’s dad wears a funny hat, and Johnny Buck again fails to move to Sweet Valley

Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #6: The Curse of the Golden Heart

Posted on 24 June 20196 November 2019 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller: The Curse of the Golden Heart. There are far too many dreams and far too little cursing.

Sweet Valley Twins #79: Jessica’s Blind Date

Posted on 10 June 201910 June 2019 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #79: Jessica’s Blind Date, in which all the kids in Sweet Valley Middle School throw their keys into the bowl…

A Quick Break

Posted on 10 April 20195 May 2019 by Dove

We are taking two months off from recapping at SweetValley.Online, and we will be back on schedule from 3 June 2019.

Sweet Valley Twins #78: Steven the Zombie

Posted on 1 April 201925 February 2021 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #78: Steven the Zombie, which is offensive to voodoo practitioners, the disabled, Harriet Tubman and Sojourner Truth specifically, and is literally the worst Sweet Valley book Dove has ever read. That includes ithig.