Sweet Valley Online

Sweet Valley Twins #101: Twins In Love

Posted on 5 October 202010 April 2021 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #101: Twins In Love, in which Elizabeth pretends to be Jessica, Jessica pretends to be Elizabeth, Steven pretends to be a cowboy, and Raven can’t pretend to care.

Sweet Valley Twins #100: If I Die Before I Wake

Posted on 28 September 202025 February 2021 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #100: If I Die Before I Wake. What happens? To quote Alice Wakefield, “I don’t think we’ll ever know the answers…” SERIOUSLY? FUCK YOU!

Sweet Valley Twins #99: The Beast Must Die

Posted on 21 September 202025 February 2021 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins 99: The Beast Must Die and hates everything. Mostly because of what’s going on in the world, but also the book sucks.

Sweet Valley Twins #98 – The Beast Is Watching You

Posted on 7 September 202027 September 2020 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #98 – The Beast Is Watching You, in which the noble art of babysitting is examined ad infinitum.

Sweet Valley Twins #97: Too Scared to Sleep

Posted on 31 August 202025 February 2021 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #97: Too Scared to Sleep, the unholy union between Freddy Krueger and Kristy Thomas, where literally nothing happens for 30k words.

Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #7: Jessica’s Animal Instincts

Posted on 24 August 202025 February 2021 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Special #7: Jessica’s Animal Instincts and oh my god, the highs and lows. THE HIGHS AND LOWS. And adorable bear cub.

Sweet Valley Twins #96: Elizabeth the Spy

Posted on 10 August 20201 July 2021 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #95: Elizabeth the Spy, in which Elizabeth commits perjury in order to secure her supply of thick strawberry milkshakes.

Sweet Valley Twins #95: Battle of the Cheerleaders

Posted on 3 August 202025 February 2021 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #95: Battle of the Cheerleaders, and accidentally enjoys it. Note: it’s not about cheerleading. It’s about basketball. And Dove doesn’t understand that at all.

Sweet Valley Twins #93: Don’t Talk to Brian

Posted on 27 July 202025 February 2021 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #93: Don’t Talk to Brian wherein Brian the Nazi is redeemed. Wing takes this about as well as you’d think.

Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #6: The Twins Take Paris

Posted on 13 July 202025 February 2021 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #6: The Twins Take Paris, in which the twins run away, then run away again. Then run away again. And again.

Sweet Valley Twins #93: The Incredible Madame Jessica

Posted on 6 July 202025 February 2021 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #93: The Incredible Madame Jessica wherein Jessica AGAIN thinks she’s psychic, and this book just retreads the last psychic book. The Jamies are running on empty now, aren’t they?

Another amend to the posting schedule

Posted on 8 June 20206 June 2020 by Dove

Another amend to the posting schedule: Raven is ill (not COVID). We’ll be back on Monday 6 July 2020. Apologies.

Sweet Valley Twins #92: Escape from Terror Island

Posted on 1 June 202025 February 2021 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #92: Escape from Terror Island, which is a frankly dire follow-up to the fun adventure of the previous book

Sweet Valley Twins #91: Deadly Voyage

Posted on 25 May 202025 February 2021 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #91: Deadly Voyage, in which there’s genuine, terrifying, nail-biting peril. And the best line EVER from Tamara Chase.

Minor Amend to Posting Schedule

Posted on 14 May 202018 May 2020 by Dove

Minor Amend to Posting Schedule: originally it was recap on 18 May, then week off. Now it’s week off, recap on 25 May. Simples.

Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #9: Evil Elizabeth

Posted on 11 May 202011 May 2020 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #9: Evil Elizabeth where Elizabeth is evil, Steven is useful, Jessica is awesome and Ellen is in character #WINNING

Sweet Valley Twins #90: The Cousin War

Posted on 4 May 202025 February 2021 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins 90: The Cousin War and it is love octagon farce in the most delightful ways.

Sweet Valley Twins #89: Jessica’s Cookie Disaster

Posted on 20 April 202025 February 2021 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #89: Jessica’s Cookie Disaster, in which Jessica could have poisoned an entire Home Ec class with a little more dedication.

Sweet Valley Twins #88: Steven Gets Even

Posted on 13 April 202025 February 2021 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #88: Steven Gets Even, and between the girl power and a drive-by spagging, the Mercandy backyard theory becomes canon.

Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #8: The Secret of the Magic Pen

Posted on 6 April 20206 April 2020 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #8: The Secret of the Magic Pen, wherein the twins go to summer camp (again) and Elizabeth finds a pen in a cave.