Sweet Valley Twins #90: The Cousin War

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins 90: The Cousin War and it is love octagon farce in the most delightful ways.

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Sweet Valley Twins #89: Jessica’s Cookie Disaster

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #89: Jessica’s Cookie Disaster, in which Jessica could have poisoned an entire Home Ec class with a little more dedication.

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Sweet Valley Twins #86: It Can’t Happen Here

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #86: It Can’t Happen Here wherein Sweet Valley tackles the Holocaust and the dead rise from the grave. Not hyperbole. #DoveGoesBOOM!

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Sweet Valley Twins #85: Elizabeth the Seventh-Grader

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #85: Elizabeth the Seventh-Grader, and Raven is right: Sweet Valley Middle School has the worst teachers in the world. BURN. IT. DOWN.

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Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #5: Lila’s Secret Valentine

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #5: Lila’s Secret Valentine, in which Lila falls for a bit of rough, and Todd Wilkins is completely insufferable.

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Sweet Valley Twins #84: Romeo and Two Juliets

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #84: Romeo and Two Juliets and it is filled with delightful Twin … what’s the opposite of Magic? That.

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Sweet Valley Twins Magna Edition #3: BIG for Christmas

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins Magna Edition #3: BIG for Christmas wherein Jamie Suzanne rips off a well-known plot, gives Elizabeth a spine, and makes me question how slutty silk is.

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Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #7: The Haunted Burial Ground

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #7: The Haunted Burial Ground AND DEAR GOD THE CULTURAL APPROPRIATION BULLSHIT.

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Sweet Valley Twins #82: Steven’s Enemy book cover

Sweet Valley Twins #82: Steven’s Enemy

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #82: Steven’s Enemy in which she finds new levels of burning hatred for Steven Wakefield

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Sweet Valley Twins #80: The Gossip War by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #80: The Gossip War

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #80: The Gossip War, wherein middle school is exactly like the Cold War, Ellen’s dad wears a funny hat, and Johnny Buck again fails to move to Sweet Valley

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Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #6: The Curse of the Golden Heart by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #6: The Curse of the Golden Heart

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller: The Curse of the Golden Heart. There are far too many dreams and far too little cursing.

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Sweet Valley Twins #78: Steven the Zombie by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #78: Steven the Zombie

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #78: Steven the Zombie, which is offensive to voodoo practitioners, the disabled, Harriet Tubman and Sojourner Truth specifically, and is literally the worst Sweet Valley book Dove has ever read. That includes ithig.

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