Skip to content

Sweet Valley Online

Evil triplets snarkily recap Sweet Valley Twins, High, University, Confidential & Sweet Life

  • Home
  • Book List / Schedule
  • About
  • Everything you need to know
  • Characters
  • Relationships
  • Events
  • Tags
Sweet Valley Online
Sweet Valley Twins #58: Elizabeth and the Orphans by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #58: Elizabeth and the Orphans

Posted on 20 August 201821 February 2021 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #58: Elizabeth and the Orphans wherein Melissa and Andy McCormick lose their mother and it’s actually quite sad, and Elizabeth does very little, except show up every few pages to remind us that she exists.

Continue reading
Sweet Valley Twins
3 comments
Sweet Valley Twins #57: Big Brother's In Love by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #57: Big Brother’s in Love!

Posted on 13 August 201825 February 2021 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #57: Big Brother’s in Love! and we learn the truth about Pea Pong. PEA PONG.

Continue reading
Sweet Valley Twins
4 comments
Podcast Artwork

Episode 28: Jessica’s New Look

Posted on 10 August 20189 August 2018 by Raven

Wing, Raven and Dove talk about Sweet Valley Twins 47: Jessica’s New Look. They also discuss Bleak Valley and how the book ties into this theory.

Continue reading
Podcasts
One comment
Sweet Valley Twins #56: The Wakefields Strike it Rich by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #56: The Wakefields Strike It Rich

Posted on 30 July 201825 February 2021 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #56: The Wakefields Strike It Rich, in which Great Aunt Helen gives the Wakefield Siblings a large cash payout, and a reason for them to murder her for a sizeable inheritance.

Continue reading
Sweet Valley Twins
5 comments
Sweet Valley Twins #55: Brooke and her Rock-Star Mom by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #55: Brooke and her Rock-Star Mom

Posted on 23 July 201818 March 2020 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #55: Brooke and her Rock-Star Mom wherein Coco, the newest hottest star, is a genuinely awful parent, allows her employee to abuse her daughter, and actively teaches her daughter to keep secrets from her father.

Continue reading
Sweet Valley Twins
One comment
Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #4 The Unicorns Go Hawaiian by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #4: The Unicorns Go Hawaiian

Posted on 16 July 201821 February 2021 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #4: The Unicorns Go Hawaiian, and she braces herself for some horrible stereotypes and cultural appropriation. Did she go boom? Read to find out.

Continue reading
Super Editions
5 comments
Sweet Valley Twins 54: The Big Party Weekend by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #54: The Big Party Weekend

Posted on 2 July 20189 February 2019 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #54: The Big Party Weekend, wherein the Wakefield siblings hold a super-cool party while their parents are off their boxes on disco biscuits.

Continue reading
Sweet Valley Twins
10 comments
Sweet Valley Twins #53: The Slime That Ate Sweet Valley by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #53: The Slime That Ate Sweet Valley

Posted on 25 June 201825 February 2021 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #53: The Slime That Ate Sweet Valley wherein she over-identifies with a nerd, keeps saying Smooze instead of “the Slime” and Jessica’s first kiss gets revoked.

Continue reading
Sweet Valley Twins
5 comments
Podcast Artwork

Episode 27: Mademoiselle Jessica

Posted on 20 June 201820 June 2018 by Raven

Wing, Raven and Dove talk about Sweet Valley Twins 46: Mademoiselle Jessica. They also discuss Bleak Valley and how the book ties into this theory.

Continue reading
Podcasts
One comment
Sweet Valley Twins 52: Booster Boycott by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #52: Booster Boycott

Posted on 18 June 201821 February 2021 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #52: Booster Boycott and burns everything to the fucking ground. Fuck gender essentialism. Fuck heteronormativity. Fuck Wakefields Must Win.

Continue reading
Sweet Valley Twins
3 comments
Sweet Valley Twins 51: Elizabeth the Impossible by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #51: Elizabeth the Impossible

Posted on 4 June 201828 June 2018 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #51: Elizabeth the Impossible wherein Elizabeth enters an abusive relationship and changes everything about herself to appease her abuser. Or she gets too big for her boots after winning a few awards. You decide what you think the book’s about.

Continue reading
Sweet Valley Twins
4 comments
Sweet Valley Twins 50: Jessica and the Secret Star, by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #50: Jessica and the Secret Star

Posted on 28 May 201821 February 2021 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #50: Jessica and the Secret Star, in which the New Girl has a dark and mysterious toilet-paper-shaped past…

Continue reading
Sweet Valley Twins
3 comments
Sweet Valley Twins 49: The Twins’ Little Sister by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #49: The Twins’ Little Sister

Posted on 21 May 201816 December 2018 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins 49: The Twins’ Little Sister by Jamie Suzanne, and no, the twins are not ready to be big sisters. They will never be ready.

Continue reading
Sweet Valley Twins
3 comments
Sweet Valley Twins #48: Mandy Miller Fights Back by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #48: Mandy Miller Fights Back

Posted on 8 May 201815 December 2018 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #49: Mandy Miller Fights Back, in which we meet the best Sweet Valley peripheral character yet!

Continue reading
Sweet Valley Twins
2 comments
Sweet Valley Twins #47: Jessica's New Look by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #47: Jessica’s New Look

Posted on 30 April 201821 February 2021 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins 47: Jessica’s New Look, wherein Jessica is a boring, self-centred twat who whines a lot about how wearing glasses is LITERALLY THE WORST. No. This book is the worst.

Continue reading
Sweet Valley Twins
3 comments
Sweet Valley Twins #46: Mademoiselle Jessica by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #46: Mademoiselle Jessica

Posted on 23 April 201815 December 2018 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #46: Mademoiselle Jessica, wherein Brooke becomes Brookette (trés French) and Jessica’s family use humiliation to teach her a lesson.

Continue reading
Sweet Valley Twins
4 comments
Podcast Artwork

Episode 26: Lucy Takes The Reins

Posted on 15 April 201815 April 2018 by Raven

Wing, Raven and Dove talk about Sweet Valley Twins 45: Lucy Takes The Reins. They also discuss Bleak Valley and how the book ties into this theory.

Continue reading
Podcasts
3 comments
Sweet Valley Twins #45: Lucy Takes the Reins by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #45: Lucy Takes the Reins

Posted on 9 April 201821 February 2021 by Dove

Dove recaps Lucy Takes the Reins, wherein Dove doesn’t care in the slightest about Lucy, but ADORES WHOLEHEARTEDLY the b-plot, which features #BestJess

Continue reading
Sweet Valley Twins
2 comments
Podcast Artwork

Episode 25: Amy Moves In

Posted on 7 April 20187 April 2018 by Raven

Wing, Raven and Dove talk about Sweet Valley Twins 44: Amy Moves In. They also discuss Bleak Valley and how the book ties into this theory.

Continue reading
Podcasts
One comment
Sweet Valley Twins 44: Amy Moves In by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #44: Amy Moves In

Posted on 3 April 201819 August 2018 by Raven

Raven recaps the totally forgettable… erm… huh… what was it again? Something to do with a fire? Oh yeah, Sweet Valley Twins #44: Amy Moves In.

Continue reading
Sweet Valley Twins
8 comments

Posts navigation

«Previous Posts 1 … 3 4 5 6 7 … 11 Next Posts»

Search

About

Evil twins, Wing and Dove, trade Point Horror for Sweet Valley. And they have a secret triplet, Raven, joining them for a dude’s point of view.

We will be recapping Sweet Valley Twins (and all the special editions, including The Unicorn Club) to start with, and if Wing survives that, we may try other Sweet Valley series.

We will upload a recap every Monday for three weeks, and a podcast on the fourth.

Our Podcast music is provided by Stuart Taylor of Legacy Breakfast.

Follow us:

Raven’s Twinparisons

Elizabeth looks like Jessica. Jessica looks like Elizabeth. Stephen looks like Mr Bowman, which Ned finds suspicious.

Jess is a party girl. She like boys. Liz is a bookworm. She likes… worms?

There once lived a couple of twins,
One saintly, and one full of sins,
Liz wants a fine horse;
Jess buried a corpse
Behind the school gym, by the bins.

Sweet Valley Twins #24: Jumping to Conclusions

See all

Email

Dove, Wing, Raven or All 3 of us

Meta

  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.org

Categories

  • Bleak Valley (1)
  • Fanfiction (24)
    • NaNoWriMo (23)
  • General (8)
  • Ghost Writers (2)
  • Podcasts (32)
  • Sweet Valley Twins (135)
    • Magna Editions (3)
    • Nightmare at Sea (2)
    • Nightmare Mansion (4)
    • Super Chillers (9)
    • Super Editions (9)

Recent Comments

  • Liz is a Fat Virgin on Sweet Valley Twins #112: If Looks Could Kill
  • Sweet Valley Twins #106: Breakfast of Enemies – Sweet Valley Online on Sweet Valley Twins #15: The Older Boy
  • Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #2: The Ghost in the Graveyard – Sweet Valley Online on Sweet Valley Twins #3: The Haunted House
  • Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #2: The Ghost in the Graveyard – Sweet Valley Online on Sweet Valley Twins #22: Out of Place
  • Dove on Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #10: The Year Without Christmas

Tags

#BestJamieSuzanne #TeamGrapplegate A+ parenting Always With the Incest Bleak Valley aka Sweet Valley Low Book-long soulmates comments by Dove comments by Raven comments by Wing Dance Baby Dance Don't be a bully be a star Double Dipping Plot Dove goes BOOM! Elizabeth Has A Spine! Ewww poor people! For the hundred and thirty-seventh time... FUCK YOU TAMARA CHASE Great Ghosties I'm running away! I'm scared of Jessica I HATE STEVEN Jessica's New Fave Hobby lo! a haunted house MOAR IDENTICAL TWINS Needs More Werewolves No means no - unless you're Jessica Plucky girl detectives Poor little Jessica Raven disapproves of the faculty Raven goes BOOM Shame you're not a perfect size 6 sketchy student-teacher relationships Something Must Be Done SUPERNATURAL OOOOH Sweet Valley Time THANK GOD FOR ELIZABETH That brand new tradition we've always had The new girl/boy The tears of a saint The twins CAN sing too many Peters TWIN MAGIC Wakefields Must Win Wing's heart grew 10 sizes Wing goes BOOM

Characters

Aaron Dallas Alice Wakefield Amy Sutton Belinda "Billie" Layton Betsy Gordon Brooke Dennis Bruce Patman Caroline Pearce Cathy Connors Charlie Cashman Denny Jacobson Elizabeth Wakefield Ellen Riteman Grace Oliver Janet Howell Jerry McAllister Jessica Wakefield Joe (aka "Sam") Howell Johnny Buck Julie Porter Ken Matthews Kimberly Haver Lila Fowler Lois Waller Mandy Miller Maria Slater Mary Giaccio-Robinson-Wallace Melissa McCormick Mr Bowman Mr Nydick Mrs Arnette Ms Wyler Ned Wakefield Nora Mercandy Olivia Davidson Randy Mason Rick Hunter Robin (Wakefield?) Sandra Ferris Sarah Thomas Sophia Rizzo Steven Wakefield Tamara Chase Todd Wilkins Winston Egbert

Elizabeth’s BFF

Amy Sutton (5) Anna Barrett (1) Arthur Castle aka Castillo (1) Belinda "Billie" Layton (1) Betsy Martin (1) Brian Boyd (1) Brooke Dennis (3) Cammi Adams (1) Chrissy Steele (1) Christoph Bachmann (1) Danny Jackson (1) Denny Jacobson (but not through choice) (1) Dylan McKay (1) George Henkel (1) Ginny Lu Culpepper (1) Grace Oliver (1) Joe Carrey (1) Kala (1) Ken Matthews (2) Leslie Forsythe (1) Lila Fowler (2) Lois Waller (1) Lucy Benson (1) Mandy Miller (1) Maria Slater (3) Mary Giaccio-Robinson-Wallace (3) Melissa McCormick (1) Miranda Page (1) Nora Mercandy (1) Pamela Jacobson (1) Pamela McDonald (1) Patrick Morris (1) Poor disabled and homeless Benjamin (1) Robin (Wakefield?) (3) Samantha Williams (1) Sam Sloane (1) Sandra Ferris (1) Sarah Thomas (1) Sophia Rizzo (1) Starr Johnson (1) The (homeless) Glass family (1) Winston Egbert (1)

Jessica’s Hobby

Acting (9) Animals (1) Baby-Sitting (5) Ballet (1) Basketball (2) Being a Big Sister (1) Being Charming (1) Being Jailbait (2) Being psychic (4) Being treated like a grownup (3) Caring about the disabled (2) Catching Criminals (2) Ceramics (1) Cheerleading (2) Comedy (1) Cookery (1) Dogs (yes really) (1) Fashion Designer (1) France (1) Having her picture taken (1) House-Sitting (1) Hypnosis (1) Intellectual Property Theft (1) Ithig (1) Pranks (1) predicting earthquakes (1) re-living days (1) Rollerblading (1) Running a Student Paper (1) Saving the Environment (2) scuba diving (1) Seals (1) Singing (6) Softball (1) Solving Mysteries (1) Student Council (1) Treasure Hunting (1) Unabashed EEEVIL (1) Using her evil powers of scheming for good (3) Voodoo (1)
WordPress Theme: Donovan by ThemeZee.