Cover Calypso: Sweet Valley High #3: Playing With Fire
Cover Calypso! A game where Dove invites Raven and Wing to judge a book by its cover!
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Sweet Valley High #2: Secrets
Dove recaps Sweet Valley High #2: Secrets in which Enid Rollins is the only decent human being
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Cover Calypso: Sweet Valley High #2: Secrets
Cover Calypso! A game where Dove invites Raven and Wing to judge a book by its cover!
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Sweet Valley High #1: Double Love
Raven recaps Sweet Valley High #1: Double Love, the first book in the new series… and we’re not in Kansas anymore.
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Sweet Valley Online Patreon and Ko-fi
Good-bye summer, hello Sweet Valley High. Evil triplets Dove, Raven, and Wing started recapping Sweet Valley Twins in January 2017.
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Cover Calypso: Sweet Valley High #1: Double Love
Cover Calypso! A game where Dove invites Raven and Wing to judge a book by its cover!
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Sweet Valley Online Update: Next Stop… Sweet Valley High!
Hello! I’m Raven. You know me, right? I’m [this guy]. One of the three recappers on this wonderful and irreverent
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Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #14: Jessica: Next Stop: Jr High
Title: Jessica: Next Stop: Jr High Summary: Sunscreen alert! Jessica and the Unicorns are headed for the balmy, boy-filled beaches
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Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #13: Elizabeth: Next Stop: Jr High
Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #13: Elizabeth: Next Stop: Jr High, in which Elizabeth Wakefield spends five weeks in Costa Rica, snogging a boy in a forest.
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Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #12: Good-Bye Middle School
Dove does her last reacap of Sweet Valley Twins, Super Edition #12: Good-Bye Middle School, which has no plot, the characters suck, nothing is resolved and Magical Native Americans die for the Wakefields’ sins. So a fitting cap to the series, all things considered.
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The Unicorn Club #23: Trapped in the Mall
Wing recaps The Unicorn Club #23: Trapped in the Mall and goes boom. Fuck Sweet Valley parents. Fuck the Unicorn Club. Mostly, fuck Kimberly Haver.
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The Unicorn Club #22: Jessica’s Dream Date
Raven recaps the Unicorn Club #22: Jessica’s Dream Date, in which I’d happily take a cricket bat and bludgeon Johnny Buck into a marmalade pulp.
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The Unicorn Club #21: Snow Bunnies
Dove recaps The Unicorn Club #21: Snow Bunnies, a book so infuriating that even a mountain loses patience it.
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The Unicorn Club #20: In Love with Mandy
Wing recaps The Unicorn Club 20: In Love with Mandy and it is horrible, boring, repetitive, obnoxious, and she is just done.
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The Unicorn Club #19: The Most Beautiful Girl in the World
Raven recaps The Unicorn Club #19: The Most Beautiful Girl in the World, in which the Unicorns discover you can be TOO thin, while simultaneously reminding us you can be too fat.
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The Unicorn Club #18: Rachel’s In, Lila’s Out
Dove recaps The Unicorn Club #17: Rachel’s In, Lila’s Out and fixates on the one throwaway line that there are 75 rooms in Fowler Crest. That’s tells you all you need to know about how good the plot is.
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The Unicorn Club #17: Boyfriends for Everyone
Wing recaps The Unicorn Club #17: Boyfriends for Everyone, AND THE STRENGTH OF HER RAGE COULD DESTROY THE WORLD. FUCK UNICORN “FRIENDSHIP.” FUCK EVERYTHING.
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The Unicorn Club #16: Bon Voyage, Unicorns
Raven recaps The Unicorn Club #16: Bon Voyage, Unicorns, in which Ellen splits herself into four Horcruxes in an attempt to become immortal.
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