Character: Jessica Wakefield

Aspiring serial killer. Utterly selfish and ruthless, snobby and vapid.

Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #11: Jessica’s No Angel

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Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #11: Jessica’s No Angel, wherein – for the second time ever – Elizabeth is the greatest character ever.

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Sweet Valley Twins #114: The Boyfriend Mess

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Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #114: The Boyfriend Mess and there are love triangles, miscommunications, and dating shenanigans everywhere. EVERYWHERE.

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Sweet Valley Twins #113: The Boyfriend Game

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Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #113: The Boyfriend Game, which pays homage to a legendary Eighties television gameshow, in a frankly incomprehensible way.

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Sweet Valley Twins #112: If Looks Could Kill

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Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins 112 If Looks Could Kill and a boring set of love triangles becomes an entertaining KILL THEM ALL game. Metaphorically, alas.

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Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #10: The Year Without Christmas

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Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #10: The Year Without Christmas wherein Jessica relives Christmas Eve over and over and over… and contemplates murdering Amy Sutton

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Sweet Valley Twins #111: Sisters at War

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Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #111: Sisters at War, and wishes that time travel was a thing, so he could rewind to the day before he read it.

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Sweet Valley Twins #110: Pumpkin Fever

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Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins 110: Pumpkin Fever in which Jessica wants to be crowned Halloween Queen, and will stop at nothing to achieve it, including murdering a fictional squirrel!

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Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #9: The Twins Go To College

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Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #9: The Twins Go To College, in which there’s so much inappropriate grooming it might as well be called Sweet Valley Lolita.

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Sweet Valley Twins #106: Breakfast of Enemies

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Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #106: Breakfast of Enemies, in which the sass is electric, the cereal is inedible, and Jessica needs to have a word with herself.

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Sweet Valley Twins #105 Jessica’s Lucky Millions

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Wing (@devilselbowpod) recaps Sweet Valley Twins #105 Jessica’s Lucky Millions and is fairly eh over it all. More on her than the treasure hunt or the sibling prank war. Again.

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Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #8: Jessica’s First Kiss

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Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #8: Jessica’s First Kiss, which is pointless because Jessica was kissed in book 15, which was 110 books ago. But this book contains camping! Bears! Vomit! EXCITING, YES?

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Sweet Valley Twins #103: Big Brother’s In Love Again

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Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #103: Big Brother’s In Love Again, in which Steven Wakefield is a Class A copper-plated bobby-dazzling bellend.

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Sweet Valley Twins #103: Elizabeth Solves It All

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Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #103: Elizabeth Solves It All, where this Jamie appears to hate Elizabeth as much as Dove does, and Amy Sutton is surprisingly awesome. Yeah, no, really.

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