Raven's Rating: Bad

Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #8: The Secret of the Magic Pen

Posted on 6 April 20206 April 2020 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #8: The Secret of the Magic Pen, wherein the twins go to summer camp (again) and Elizabeth finds a pen in a cave.

Sweet Valley Twins #87: The Mother-Daughter Switch

Posted on 23 March 202025 February 2021 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #87: The Mother-Daughter Switch, in which the twins play Alice, Elizabeth plays Jessica, and Alice plays a bellend.

Sweet Valley Twins #85: Elizabeth the Seventh-Grader

Posted on 9 March 202025 February 2021 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #85: Elizabeth the Seventh-Grader, and Raven is right: Sweet Valley Middle School has the worst teachers in the world. BURN. IT. DOWN.

Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #7: The Haunted Burial Ground

Posted on 20 January 202025 February 2021 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #7: The Haunted Burial Ground AND DEAR GOD THE CULTURAL APPROPRIATION BULLSHIT.

Sweet Valley Twins #82: Steven’s Enemy

Posted on 13 January 202018 January 2020 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #82: Steven’s Enemy in which she finds new levels of burning hatred for Steven Wakefield

Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #6: The Curse of the Golden Heart

Posted on 24 June 20196 November 2019 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller: The Curse of the Golden Heart. There are far too many dreams and far too little cursing.

Sweet Valley Twins #76: Yours for a Day

Posted on 13 March 201913 March 2019 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #76: Yours for a Day, and is way too charmed by a made-up holiday focused on pink romance.

Sweet Valley Twins #74: Elizabeth the Hero

Posted on 11 February 201913 December 2020 by Raven

Raven recaps sweet Valley Twins #74: Elizabeth the Hero, in which Elizabeth saves Denny Jacobson’s life over and over again, yet no one thinks to stab Steven in the face.

Sweet Valley Twins #69: Won’t Someone Help Anna?

Posted on 17 December 201825 February 2021 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #69: Won’t Someone Help Anna? There’s a new girl in town, and she’s deaf. BURN HER! BURN THE WITCH!

Sweet Valley Twins 62: Sarah’s Dad and Sophia’s Mom by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #62: Sarah’s Dad and Sophia’s Mum

Posted on 8 October 201813 December 2020 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #62: Sarah’s Dad and Sophia’s Mum and is both annoyed and bored. How? How is that even possible? All these great tropes and yet the story is terrible.

Sweet Valley Twins #56: The Wakefields Strike It Rich

Posted on 30 July 201813 June 2021 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #56: The Wakefields Strike It Rich, in which Great Aunt Helen gives the Wakefield Siblings a large cash payout, and a reason for them to murder her for a sizeable inheritance.

Sweet Valley Twins #55: Brooke and her Rock-Star Mom

Posted on 23 July 201818 March 2020 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #55: Brooke and her Rock-Star Mom wherein Coco, the newest hottest star, is a genuinely awful parent, allows her employee to abuse her daughter, and actively teaches her daughter to keep secrets from her father.

Sweet Valley Twins #54: The Big Party Weekend

Posted on 2 July 20189 February 2019 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #54: The Big Party Weekend, wherein the Wakefield siblings hold a super-cool party while their parents are off their boxes on disco biscuits.

Sweet Valley Twins #47: Jessica’s New Look

Posted on 30 April 201821 February 2021 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins 47: Jessica’s New Look, wherein Jessica is a boring, self-centred twat who whines a lot about how wearing glasses is LITERALLY THE WORST. No. This book is the worst.

Sweet Valley Twins #38: Lois Strikes Back

Posted on 15 January 201828 June 2018 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #38: Lois Strikes Back, in which Sweet Valley’s resident fatso climbs on a bike in the name of charity…

Sweet Valley Twins #31: Jessica’s Bad Idea

Posted on 30 October 20176 February 2021 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins 31: Jessica’s Bad Idea, in which the most loathesome creature on the planet goes toe-to-toe with… Jessica? Yes. There is someone *worse* than Jess in Sweet Valley.

Sweet Valley Twins #29: Jessica and the Brat Attack

Posted on 9 October 201715 December 2018 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #29: Jessica and the Brat Attack, wherein Jess faces four children more evil and annoying than herself. And Wing has zero sympathy. It is beautiful.

Sweet Valley Twins #26: Taking Charge

Posted on 11 September 201723 April 2023 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins 26: Taking Charge, in which the b-plot is the most compelling thing, because it doesn’t require an iron grip on the idiot ball.

Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #2: Holiday Mischief

Posted on 21 August 201723 April 2023 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #2: Holiday Mischief, in which there are spies, disappearing ink, and the most inept choral leaders on the planet.

Sweet Valley Twins #23: Claim to Fame

Posted on 31 July 201723 April 2023 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins 23: Claim to Fame, wherein the school inexplicably celebrates being 25 years old by burying a time capsule containing stuff from 25 years ago.