Tag: THANK GOD FOR ELIZABETH

How on earth would we survive without Saint Elizabeth?

Sweet Valley High #28: Alone in the Crowd

Posted on 19 June 202319 June 2023 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley High #28: Alone in the Crowd, wherein Lynne Henry wallows in self-loathing, writes a song, and falls in love. Also, there’s rocking chairs. [Note: Also, some of Dove’s ebook is missing, apparently.]

Sweet Valley High Super Edition #3: Spring Break

Posted on 5 June 20235 June 2023 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley High Super Edition #3: Spring Break, and the Wakefield twins head off on their very first trip to France, a trip of a lifetime, one that HAS ALREADY HAPPENED IN TWINS. Twin magic, Liz has no spine, mighty storms, and a Steven love triangle. Oh boy.

Sweet Valley High #22: Too Much In Love

Posted on 27 March 202327 March 2023 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley High #22: Too Much In Love, in which he feels empathy for DeeDee and Bill while dicking about with a friendly AI robot.

Sweet Valley High #21: Runaway

Posted on 6 March 20236 March 2023 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley High #21: Runaway, and it was going so well! Jessica’s depression worked! And then that rushed, Thank God For Liz ending ruined it.

Sweet Valley High #20: Crash Landing!

Posted on 27 February 202327 February 2023 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley High #20: Crash Landing! In which not even a titular exclamation point can muster up a flicker of interest.

Sweet Valley High #19: Showdown

Posted on 20 February 202320 February 2023 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley High #19: Showdown the age-old story of two girls fighting over a boy. Who tries to kill one of them.

Sweet Valley High #18: Head Over Heels

Posted on 6 February 20236 February 2023 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley High #18: Head Over Heels and would have found it charming and silly had the romantic hero not been BRUCE FUCKING PATMAN, abusive rapist.

Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #13: Elizabeth: Next Stop: Jr High

Posted on 11 July 202211 July 2022 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #13: Elizabeth: Next Stop: Jr High, in which Elizabeth Wakefield spends five weeks in Costa Rica, snogging a boy in a forest.

Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #12: Good-Bye Middle School

Posted on 27 June 202227 June 2022 by Dove

Dove does her last reacap of Sweet Valley Twins, Super Edition #12: Good-Bye Middle School, which has no plot, the characters suck, nothing is resolved and Magical Native Americans die for the Wakefields’ sins. So a fitting cap to the series, all things considered.

The Unicorn Club #4: Lila’s Little Sister

Posted on 12 October 202125 November 2021 by Raven

Raven recaps The Unicorn Club #4: Lila’s Little Sister, in which Lila Fowler’s life is upended by a four-year-old spawn of pure evil.

Team Sweet Valley #2: Win One For Sandra

Posted on 12 July 202112 July 2021 by Dove

Dove recaps Team Sweet Valley #2: Win One For Sandra and loathes every second of it, with special shout-out to Elizabeth-behaving-as-Jessica and Supah Speshul Sandra, not to mention the incomprehensible layout of where these games take place.

Sweet Valley Twins #118: No Escape!

Posted on 21 June 202118 April 2022 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #118: No Escape!, the last in the main SVT series – where Mr Seigel is crowned GOD OF TERRIBLE TEACHERS and Dove becomes Team Elizabeth in response.

Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #11: Jessica’s No Angel

Posted on 10 May 20215 September 2021 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #11: Jessica’s No Angel, wherein – for the second time ever – Elizabeth is the greatest character ever.

Sweet Valley Twins #96: Elizabeth the Spy

Posted on 10 August 20201 July 2021 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #95: Elizabeth the Spy, in which Elizabeth commits perjury in order to secure her supply of thick strawberry milkshakes.

Sweet Valley Twins #94: Don’t Talk to Brian

Posted on 27 July 202023 April 2023 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #93: Don’t Talk to Brian wherein Brian the Nazi is redeemed. Wing takes this about as well as you’d think.

Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #7: The Haunted Burial Ground

Posted on 20 January 202025 February 2021 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #7: The Haunted Burial Ground AND DEAR GOD THE CULTURAL APPROPRIATION BULLSHIT.

Sweet Valley Twins #81: Robbery At The Mall

Posted on 6 January 20206 January 2020 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #81: Robbery At The Mall, in which Elizabeth Wakefield channels John McClane to bring down a crime ring.

Sweet Valley Twins Magna Edition #2: A Christmas Without Elizabeth

Posted on 27 February 201925 November 2021 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins Magna Edition #2: A Christmas Without Elizabeth, in which Elizabeth Lassos the Moon. Merry Chrismas, Sweet Valley!

Sweet Valley Twins #74: Elizabeth the Hero

Posted on 11 February 201913 December 2020 by Raven

Raven recaps sweet Valley Twins #74: Elizabeth the Hero, in which Elizabeth saves Denny Jacobson’s life over and over again, yet no one thinks to stab Steven in the face.

Sweet Valley Twins #67: Jessica the Thief

Posted on 3 December 201825 February 2021 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #67: Jessica the Thief, and it’s fun enough for an overdone plot and subplot. Also: Jessica is a damn thief all the damn time. Except this time.