Sweet Valley Twins #44: Amy Moves In
Raven recaps the totally forgettable… erm… huh… what was it again? Something to do with a fire? Oh yeah, Sweet Valley Twins #44: Amy Moves In.
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[Deep blue is Wing’s colour.]
Sweet Valley Twins #43: Elizabeth’s First Kiss
Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #43: Elizabet’s First Kiss, which sees Elizabeth lose her lip virginity to the inestimable Todd Wilkins… or does she?
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Sweet Valley Twins #42: Jessica’s Secret
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #42: Jessica’s Secret, wherein we find people both stupider and bitchier than the Unicorns, and Elizabeth wants to know: HAVE YOU STARTED YOUR PERIOD?
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Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #2: The Ghost in the Graveyard
Raven recaps Sweet VAlley Twins Super Chiller 2: The Ghost in the Graveyard. There’s a ghost… but is it in a graveyard? Enquiring minds want to know!
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Sweet Valley Twins #40: Danny Means Trouble
Dove slugs her way through another Very Special Episode during which she wants to murder Elizabeth. More than usual.
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Sweet Valley Twins #38: Lois Strikes Back
Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #38: Lois Strikes Back, in which Sweet Valley’s resident fatso climbs on a bike in the name of charity…
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Sweet Valley Twins #37: The War Between the Twins
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #37: The War Between the Twins, in which Jessica launches a rival newspaper, many lies are told and Amy Sutton can just get in the f***ing sea.
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Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #1: The Christmas Ghost
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #1: The Christmas Ghost, which is a Sweet Valley retelling of A Christmas Carol, with pop stars and talking unicorns (not the girl gang), and loads of versions of Jessica… all of which she takes a few minutes to identify as being herself (or Liz).
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Sweet Valley Twins #35: Amy’s Pen Pal
Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins 35: Amy’s Pen Pal, in which Amy Sutton loses a new friend to siren call of the Unigibbons. Will they steal her friend forever?
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Sweet Valley Twins #33: Elizabeth’s New Hero
Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins 33: Elizabeth’s New Hero, wherein a visting East German gymnast dreams of defecting to the warm bosom of Sweet Valley. Tear down the wall!
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Sweet Valley Twins #31: Jessica’s Bad Idea
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins 31: Jessica’s Bad Idea, in which the most loathesome creature on the planet goes toe-to-toe with… Jessica? Yes. There is someone *worse* than Jess in Sweet Valley.
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Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #3: The Big Camp Secret
Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #3: The Big Camp Secret, in which the Wakefield Twins attend a Sleepaway Camp, and ACTUALLY ENTER A CONTEST THEY DON’T WIN.
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Sweet Valley Twins #30: Princess Elizabeth
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins 30: Princess Elizabeth, in which we learn that the Santa Doran monarchy have incredibly lax security, and that… DOVE LOATHES THE CONCEPT OF MONARCHY.
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Sweet Valley Twins #28: April Fool!
Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #28: April Fool! This book sees Elizabeth and Jessica join forces against their brother Stephen, who has become possessed by a giant squid. The fourteen-year-old sandwich chomper threatens to squirt his murky ink all over Sweet Valley, and the twins decree he Must Be Stopped. (Actually, that’s a big lie… April Fool!)
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Sweet Valley Twins #26: Taking Charge
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins 26: Taking Charge, in which the b-plot is the most compelling thing, because it doesn’t require an iron grip on the idiot ball.
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Episode 9: Belinda Billie B*ll*cks
Wing, Raven and Dove talk about Sweet Valley Twins 24: Jumping to Conclusions; Super Edition 2: Holiday Mischief; and 25: Standing Out. They also discuss Bleak Valley and how these books tie into this theory.
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Sweet Valley Twins #25: Standing Out
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins 25: Standing Out, in which Billie Layton has to deal with getting her period, liking boys, and having her shitbag parents steal her name and give it to their new child.
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Sweet Valley Twins #24: Jumping to Conclusions
Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins 24: Jumping to Conclusions, wherein Alice might be sleeping around, and the Wakefield kids are going to SORT. THAT. OUT. Cue #BestJess and some wild and zany schemes.
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Episode 8: Also, there’s a horse.
Wing, Raven and Dove talk about Sweet Valley Twins 21: Left Behind; 22: Out of Place; and 23: Claim to Fame. They also discuss Bleak Valley and how these books tie into this theory.
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Sweet Valley Twins #23: Claim to Fame
Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins 23: Claim to Fame, wherein the school inexplicably celebrates being 25 years old by burying a time capsule containing stuff from 25 years ago.
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