Tag: comments by Wing

[Deep blue is Wing’s colour.]

Sweet Valley High #29: Bitter Rivals

Posted on 27 June 202327 June 2023 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley High #29: Bitter Rivals, in which Elizabeth is trapped in a face-off with her friendship as the prize! And a rosette too, probably.

Sweet Valley High #28: Alone in the Crowd

Posted on 19 June 202319 June 2023 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley High #28: Alone in the Crowd, wherein Lynne Henry wallows in self-loathing, writes a song, and falls in love. Also, there’s rocking chairs. [Note: Also, some of Dove’s ebook is missing, apparently.]

Sweet Valley High #27: Lovestruck

Posted on 29 May 202329 May 2023 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley High #27: Lovestruck, in which Ken Matthews can pass a football but can’t pass an English class.

Sweet Valley High #26: Hostage!

Posted on 15 May 202321 May 2023 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley High #26: Hostage!, which features hostages, daring rescues, useless police, and… random shit about Ken Matthews failing English.

Sweet Valley High Super Edition #2: Special Christmas

Posted on 24 April 202325 April 2023 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley High Super Editions #2: Special Christmas wherein the specialness is ranked by how many whispered conversations the Wakefields can have about Suzanne Devlin.

Sweet Valley High #24: Memories

Posted on 17 April 202317 April 2023 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley High #24, in which Steven Wakefield grapples with love, grief, and loss, all of which are better than grappling with a bloody lawnmower.

Sweet Valley High #22: Too Much In Love

Posted on 27 March 202327 March 2023 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley High #22: Too Much In Love, in which he feels empathy for DeeDee and Bill while dicking about with a friendly AI robot.

Sweet Valley High Super Edition #1: Perfect Summer

Posted on 20 March 202320 March 2023 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley High Super Edition #1: Perfect Summer, where most of the action is off screen but it makes up for it with 240 pages of dish washing.

Sweet Valley High #20: Crash Landing!

Posted on 27 February 202327 February 2023 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley High #20: Crash Landing! In which not even a titular exclamation point can muster up a flicker of interest.

Sweet Valley High #19: Showdown

Posted on 20 February 202320 February 2023 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley High #19: Showdown the age-old story of two girls fighting over a boy. Who tries to kill one of them.

Sweet Valley High #17: Love Letters

Posted on 30 January 202330 January 2023 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley High #17: Love Letters, in which Caroline Pearce invents a boyfriend, who is more well rounded than most of her classmates.

Sweet Valley High #16: Rags to Riches

Posted on 23 January 202323 January 2023 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley High #16: Rags to Riches, wherein a cute boy becomes rich, and Jessica suddenly wants to date him. And it’s actually better than it sounds.

Sweet Valley High #14: Deceptions

Posted on 9 January 20239 January 2023 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley High #14: Deceptions, in which Elizabeth is pressured into dating a creature from beyond the mortal veil.

Sweet Valley High #13: Kidnapped!

Posted on 2 January 20238 January 2023 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley High #13: Kidnapped!, a misleading book because 71% of the book is not about a kidnapping. It’s about the value of homework. FFS.

Sweet Valley High #11: Too Good To Be True

Posted on 5 December 20225 December 2022 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley High #11: Too Good To Be True, in which we meet a girl who makes Jessica look like Mother Theresa.

Sweet Valley High #10: Wrong Kind of Girl

Posted on 28 November 20224 December 2022 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley High #10: Wrong Kind of Girl, where Jessica AGAIN bullies a perfectly nice girl. TRIGGER WARNING: suicide

Sweet Valley High #8: Heart Breaker

Posted on 10 November 202210 November 2022 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley High #8: Heart Breaker, in which Bill Chase’s depressing backstory gets him an X Factor audition.

Sweet Valley High #7: Dear Sister

Posted on 31 October 20224 December 2022 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley High #7: Dear Sister, wherein Elizabeth is Jessica, Jessica is Elizabeth and the Wakefield parents are literally the worst parents in the world.

Sweet Valley High #5: All Night Long

Posted on 17 October 20224 December 2022 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley High #5: All Night Long, in which Jessica is “romanced” by a man with a mustache, and Elizabeth… fails… a… TEST!

Sweet Valley High #4: Power Play

Posted on 3 October 20224 December 2022 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley High #4: Power Play and goes BOOM every few paragraphs. Also Liz doesn’t understand sarcasm or metaphors. Seriously.