Character: Steven Wakefield

Irritating older brother of the twins. His personality bounces wildly between wise protective big brother and colossal asshat.

Sweet Valley Twins #98 – The Beast Is Watching You

Posted on 7 September 202030 October 2022 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #98 – The Beast Is Watching You, in which the noble art of babysitting is examined ad infinitum.

Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #7: Jessica’s Animal Instincts

Posted on 24 August 202025 February 2021 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Special #7: Jessica’s Animal Instincts and oh my god, the highs and lows. THE HIGHS AND LOWS. And adorable bear cub.

Sweet Valley Twins #96: Elizabeth the Spy

Posted on 10 August 20201 July 2021 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #95: Elizabeth the Spy, in which Elizabeth commits perjury in order to secure her supply of thick strawberry milkshakes.

Sweet Valley Twins #95: Battle of the Cheerleaders

Posted on 3 August 202025 February 2021 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #95: Battle of the Cheerleaders, and accidentally enjoys it. Note: it’s not about cheerleading. It’s about basketball. And Dove doesn’t understand that at all.

Sweet Valley Twins #94: Don’t Talk to Brian

Posted on 27 July 202023 April 2023 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #93: Don’t Talk to Brian wherein Brian the Nazi is redeemed. Wing takes this about as well as you’d think.

Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #6: The Twins Take Paris

Posted on 13 July 202025 February 2021 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #6: The Twins Take Paris, in which the twins run away, then run away again. Then run away again. And again.

Sweet Valley Twins #93: The Incredible Madame Jessica

Posted on 6 July 202025 February 2021 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #93: The Incredible Madame Jessica wherein Jessica AGAIN thinks she’s psychic, and this book just retreads the last psychic book. The Jamies are running on empty now, aren’t they?

Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #9: Evil Elizabeth

Posted on 11 May 202011 May 2020 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #9: Evil Elizabeth where Elizabeth is evil, Steven is useful, Jessica is awesome and Ellen is in character #WINNING

Sweet Valley Twins #90: The Cousin War

Posted on 4 May 202025 February 2021 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins 90: The Cousin War and it is love octagon farce in the most delightful ways.

Sweet Valley Twins #89: Jessica’s Cookie Disaster

Posted on 20 April 202025 February 2021 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #89: Jessica’s Cookie Disaster, in which Jessica could have poisoned an entire Home Ec class with a little more dedication.

Sweet Valley Twins #88: Steven Gets Even

Posted on 13 April 202025 February 2021 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #88: Steven Gets Even, and between the girl power and a drive-by spagging, the Mercandy backyard theory becomes canon.

Sweet Valley Twins #87: The Mother-Daughter Switch

Posted on 23 March 202025 February 2021 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #87: The Mother-Daughter Switch, in which the twins play Alice, Elizabeth plays Jessica, and Alice plays a bellend.

Sweet Valley Twins #85: Elizabeth the Seventh-Grader

Posted on 9 March 202025 February 2021 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #85: Elizabeth the Seventh-Grader, and Raven is right: Sweet Valley Middle School has the worst teachers in the world. BURN. IT. DOWN.

Sweet Valley Twins #84: Romeo and Two Juliets

Posted on 17 February 202025 February 2021 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #84: Romeo and Two Juliets and it is filled with delightful Twin … what’s the opposite of Magic? That.

Sweet Valley Twins Magna Edition #3: BIG for Christmas

Posted on 10 February 202016 June 2020 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins Magna Edition #3: BIG for Christmas wherein Jamie Suzanne rips off a well-known plot, gives Elizabeth a spine, and makes me question how slutty silk is.

Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #7: The Haunted Burial Ground

Posted on 20 January 202025 February 2021 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #7: The Haunted Burial Ground AND DEAR GOD THE CULTURAL APPROPRIATION BULLSHIT.

Sweet Valley Twins #82: Steven’s Enemy

Posted on 13 January 202018 January 2020 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #82: Steven’s Enemy in which she finds new levels of burning hatred for Steven Wakefield

Sweet Valley Twins #80: The Gossip War

Posted on 1 July 201925 February 2021 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #80: The Gossip War, wherein middle school is exactly like the Cold War, Ellen’s dad wears a funny hat, and Johnny Buck again fails to move to Sweet Valley

Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #6: The Curse of the Golden Heart

Posted on 24 June 20196 November 2019 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller: The Curse of the Golden Heart. There are far too many dreams and far too little cursing.

Sweet Valley Twins #79: Jessica’s Blind Date

Posted on 10 June 201910 June 2019 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #79: Jessica’s Blind Date, in which all the kids in Sweet Valley Middle School throw their keys into the bowl…