Character: Bruce Patman

A super-rich, super-cute boy who is a year older than the twins, but appears to have no friends his own age, so he hangs out with the sixth grade. Seems like the type who wears a banana-hammock.

Sweet Valley Twins 75: Jessica and the Earthquake

Sweet Valley Twins #75: Jessica and the Earthquake

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #75: Jessica and the Earthquake, which unfortunately does not have the same body count as the Sweet Valley High book called Earthquake.

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Sweet Valley Twins #68: The Middle School Gets Married by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #68: The Middle School Gets Married

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #68: The Middle School Gets Married, wherein each twin gets paired with an even worse version of themself and wacky hi-jinks ensue with bonus baby (egg) death! #RIPStevenFidos #NeverForget

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Sweet Valley Twins 67: Jessica the Thief by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #67: Jessica the Thief

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #67: Jessica the Thief, and it’s fun enough for an overdone plot and subplot. Also: Jessica is a damn thief all the damn time. Except this time.

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Sweet Valley Twins 66: The Great Boyfriend Switch by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #66: The Great Boyfriend Switch

Raven recaps The Great Boyfriend Switch, and needs a spreadsheet to keep track on all the Twinny subterfuge.

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Sweet Valley Twins #60: Ciao, Sweet Valley! by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #60: Ciao, Sweet Valley!

Dove recaps the most offensive book in the series to date, Sweet Valley Twins #60: Ciao, Sweet Valley! wherein Jamie Suzanne wants us to really hate Italy. It’s ok though, we just hate the Jamie Suzanne instead.

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Sweet Valley Twins 52: Booster Boycott by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #52: Booster Boycott

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #52: Booster Boycott and burns everything to the fucking ground. Fuck gender essentialism. Fuck heteronormativity. Fuck Wakefields Must Win.

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Sweet Valley Twins 49: The Twins’ Little Sister by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #49: The Twins’ Little Sister

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins 49: The Twins’ Little Sister by Jamie Suzanne, and no, the twins are not ready to be big sisters. They will never be ready.

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Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #3: The Carnival Ghost by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #3: The Carnival Ghost

Wing forgot to fill this in, so Dove will summarise: Wing falls hopelessly in love with this awesome story, wherein Liz makes BFFs with a ghost, Lila is sass personified, Jessica is a true believer, and DOVE WAS RIGHT THAT THIS IS THE BEST SWEET VALLEY BOOK EVER.

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Sweet Valley Twins 37: The War Between the Twins by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #37: The War Between the Twins

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #37: The War Between the Twins, in which Jessica launches a rival newspaper, many lies are told and Amy Sutton can just get in the f***ing sea.

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Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #1: The Christmas Ghost by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #1: The Christmas Ghost

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #1: The Christmas Ghost, which is a Sweet Valley retelling of A Christmas Carol, with pop stars and talking unicorns (not the girl gang), and loads of versions of Jessica… all of which she takes a few minutes to identify as being herself (or Liz).

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Sweet Valley Twins 34: Jessica the Rock Star by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #34: Jessica the Rock Star

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #34 Jessica the Rock Star, in which Jessica both CANNOT and CAN sing, and the Unicorns host a billion parties.

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Jessica vs Elizabeth (The Hunger Games) by Dove

NaNoWriMo2017: Jessica vs Elizabeth – Chapter 9

Dove continues to NaNo, this time with a really long chapter of pre-Hunger Games interviews, hosted by Beau Dillon and Johnny Buck!

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