Author: Raven

Looking back at things I've enjoyed, and smashing them to pieces with the Snark-Hammer. Lover of games of every stripe and hue. NOT A REAL BIRD.

Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #13: Elizabeth: Next Stop: Jr High

Posted on 11 July 202211 July 2022 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #13: Elizabeth: Next Stop: Jr High, in which Elizabeth Wakefield spends five weeks in Costa Rica, snogging a boy in a forest.

The Unicorn Club #22: Jessica’s Dream Date

Posted on 13 June 202213 June 2022 by Raven

Raven recaps the Unicorn Club #22: Jessica’s Dream Date, in which I’d happily take a cricket bat and bludgeon Johnny Buck into a marmalade pulp.

The Unicorn Club #19: The Most Beautiful Girl in the World

Posted on 9 May 20229 May 2022 by Raven

Raven recaps The Unicorn Club #19: The Most Beautiful Girl in the World, in which the Unicorns discover you can be TOO thin, while simultaneously reminding us you can be too fat.

The Unicorn Club #16: Bon Voyage, Unicorns

Posted on 12 April 202221 May 2022 by Raven

Raven recaps The Unicorn Club #16: Bon Voyage, Unicorns, in which Ellen splits herself into four Horcruxes in an attempt to become immortal.

A Slight Delay due to Double Booking

Posted on 4 April 20223 April 2022 by Raven

There now follows a slight delay to our scheduled programming…

The Unicorn Club #13: Who Will Be Miss Unicorn?

Posted on 7 March 20227 March 2022 by Raven

Raven recaps The Unicorn Club #13: Who Will Be Miss Unicorn, in which Mandy Miller is both the ugliest thing in the world and the most beautiful girl on the planet.

The Unicorn Club #10: Mandy In The Middle

Posted on 6 December 20218 May 2022 by Raven

Raven recaps The Unicorn Club #10: Mandy In The Middle, in which Mandy is obsessed with Randall, Lila is obsessed with Mandy, and Raven is obsessed with the word count.

The Unicorn Club #7: Too Close for Comfort

Posted on 8 November 202125 November 2021 by Raven

Raven recaps The Unicorn Club #7: Too Close for Comfort, and wishes he’d spent his time doing LITERALLY anything else.

The Unicorn Club #4: Lila’s Little Sister

Posted on 12 October 202125 November 2021 by Raven

Raven recaps The Unicorn Club #4: Lila’s Little Sister, in which Lila Fowler’s life is upended by a four-year-old spawn of pure evil.

Delay To Our Scheduled Programming

Posted on 11 October 202111 October 2021 by Raven

Today’s scheduled recap will be 24 hours late, for reasons. Come join us on Tuesday!

The Unicorn Club #3: The Best Friend Game

Posted on 27 September 202125 November 2021 by Raven

Title: The Best Friend Game Tagline: Winner take all… Summary: Can you believe there’s a new club at Sweet Valley

Sweet Valley Twins #117: Down With Queen Janet!

Posted on 14 June 202127 June 2021 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #117: Down With Queen Janet, in which Janet Howell does a very passible impersonation of Kyle’s Mom.

Episode 36: The Unicorns Go Hawaiian

Posted on 31 May 202131 May 2021 by Raven

Wing, Raven and Dove talk about Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition 4: The Unicorns Go Hawaiian. They also discuss Bleak Valley and how the book ties into this theory.

Sweet Valley Twins #115: Happy Mother’s Day, Lila

Posted on 24 May 202124 May 2021 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #115: Happy Mother’s Day, Lila, in which Jessica does something UNFORGIVEABLE amidst the tears, tantrums and sass.

Episode 35: The Big Party Weekend

Posted on 17 May 202117 May 2021 by Raven

Wing, Raven and Dove talk about Sweet Valley Twins 54: The Big Party Weekend. They also discuss Bleak Valley and how the book ties into this theory.

Sweet Valley Twins #113: The Boyfriend Game

Posted on 19 April 202119 April 2021 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #113: The Boyfriend Game, which pays homage to a legendary Eighties television gameshow, in a frankly incomprehensible way.

Sweet Valley Twins #111: Sisters at War

Posted on 22 March 202122 March 2021 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #111: Sisters at War, and wishes that time travel was a thing, so he could rewind to the day before he read it.

Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #9: The Twins Go To College

Posted on 22 February 202123 April 2023 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #9: The Twins Go To College, in which there’s so much inappropriate grooming it might as well be called Sweet Valley Lolita.

Sweet Valley Twins #106: Breakfast of Enemies

Posted on 25 January 202110 April 2021 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #106: Breakfast of Enemies, in which the sass is electric, the cereal is inedible, and Jessica needs to have a word with herself.

Sweet Valley Twins #103: Big Brother’s In Love Again

Posted on 23 November 20204 September 2021 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #103: Big Brother’s In Love Again, in which Steven Wakefield is a Class A copper-plated bobby-dazzling bellend.