Tag: comments by Raven

[Maroon is Raven’s colour.]

Sweet Valley Twins #72: The Love Potion

Posted on 28 January 201918 October 2021 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #72: The Love Potion, wherein the Unicorns make a love potion. What, you thought it was a clever title?

Sweet Valley Twins #71: Jessica Saves the Trees

Posted on 14 January 201925 February 2021 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #71: Jessica Saves the Trees wherein #BestJess attempts to save the trees, Elizabeth is genuinely useless, facts are a last resort.

Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #5: The Curse of the Ruby Necklace by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #5: The Curse of the Ruby Necklace

Posted on 1 January 201921 February 2021 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #5: The Curse of the Ruby Necklace and it has everything wonderful! Vengeful ghosts! Murder mysteries! #bestjess everywhere!

Sweet Valley Twins #68: The Middle School Gets Married

Posted on 10 December 20185 February 2021 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #68: The Middle School Gets Married, wherein each twin gets paired with an even worse version of themself and wacky hi-jinks ensue with bonus baby (egg) death! #RIPStevenFidos #NeverForget

Sweet Valley Twins #67: Jessica the Thief

Posted on 3 December 201825 February 2021 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #67: Jessica the Thief, and it’s fun enough for an overdone plot and subplot. Also: Jessica is a damn thief all the damn time. Except this time.

Sweet Valley Twins #65: Patty’s Last Dance

Posted on 12 November 201825 February 2021 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #65: Patty’s Last Dance and the book dances its way into her heart.

Sweet Valley Twins Magna Edition #1: The Magic Christmas

Posted on 5 November 201825 November 2021 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins Magna Edition #1: The Magic Christmas wherein the emphasis is on the Magic rather than the Christmas, dolls can move, creatures die, and gosh, this summary sounds dark.

Sweet Valley Twins #63: Poor Lila!

Posted on 15 October 20184 September 2021 by Dove

Dove recaps the best book in the series, Sweet Valley Twins 63: Poor Lila!, wherein Lila is poor, the twins are nearly absent and EVERYONE is sassy.

Sweet Valley Twins 62: Sarah’s Dad and Sophia’s Mom by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #62: Sarah’s Dad and Sophia’s Mum

Posted on 8 October 201813 December 2020 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #62: Sarah’s Dad and Sophia’s Mum and is both annoyed and bored. How? How is that even possible? All these great tropes and yet the story is terrible.

Sweet Valley Twins #60: Ciao, Sweet Valley!

Posted on 17 September 20186 February 2021 by Dove

Dove recaps the most offensive book in the series to date, Sweet Valley Twins #60: Ciao, Sweet Valley! wherein Jamie Suzanne wants us to really hate Italy. It’s ok though, we just hate the Jamie Suzanne instead.

Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #4: The Ghost in the Bell Tower by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #4: The Ghost in the Bell Tower

Posted on 10 September 201821 February 2021 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #4: The Ghost in the Bell Tower by Francine Pascal and it’s great, creepy fun … except the point is to make Elizabeth believe in ghosts AND SHE ALREADY SHOULD.

Sweet Valley Twins #58: Elizabeth and the Orphans

Posted on 20 August 201821 February 2021 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #58: Elizabeth and the Orphans wherein Melissa and Andy McCormick lose their mother and it’s actually quite sad, and Elizabeth does very little, except show up every few pages to remind us that she exists.

Sweet Valley Twins #57: Big Brother’s in Love!

Posted on 13 August 201825 February 2021 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #57: Big Brother’s in Love! and we learn the truth about Pea Pong. PEA PONG.

Sweet Valley Twins #55: Brooke and her Rock-Star Mom

Posted on 23 July 201818 March 2020 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #55: Brooke and her Rock-Star Mom wherein Coco, the newest hottest star, is a genuinely awful parent, allows her employee to abuse her daughter, and actively teaches her daughter to keep secrets from her father.

Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #4: The Unicorns Go Hawaiian

Posted on 16 July 201821 February 2021 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #4: The Unicorns Go Hawaiian, and she braces herself for some horrible stereotypes and cultural appropriation. Did she go boom? Read to find out.

Sweet Valley Twins #53: The Slime That Ate Sweet Valley

Posted on 25 June 201825 February 2021 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #53: The Slime That Ate Sweet Valley wherein she over-identifies with a nerd, keeps saying Smooze instead of “the Slime” and Jessica’s first kiss gets revoked.

Sweet Valley Twins #52: Booster Boycott

Posted on 18 June 201821 February 2021 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #52: Booster Boycott and burns everything to the fucking ground. Fuck gender essentialism. Fuck heteronormativity. Fuck Wakefields Must Win.

Sweet Valley Twins #51: Elizabeth the Impossible

Posted on 4 June 201828 June 2018 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #51: Elizabeth the Impossible wherein Elizabeth enters an abusive relationship and changes everything about herself to appease her abuser. Or she gets too big for her boots after winning a few awards. You decide what you think the book’s about.

Sweet Valley Twins #49: The Twins’ Little Sister

Posted on 21 May 201816 December 2018 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins 49: The Twins’ Little Sister by Jamie Suzanne, and no, the twins are not ready to be big sisters. They will never be ready.

Sweet Valley Twins #47: Jessica’s New Look

Posted on 30 April 201821 February 2021 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins 47: Jessica’s New Look, wherein Jessica is a boring, self-centred twat who whines a lot about how wearing glasses is LITERALLY THE WORST. No. This book is the worst.