Dove's Rating: Good

Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #5: Lila’s Secret Valentine

Posted on 24 February 202023 February 2020 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #5: Lila’s Secret Valentine, in which Lila falls for a bit of rough, and Todd Wilkins is completely insufferable.

Sweet Valley Twins Magna Edition #3: BIG for Christmas

Posted on 10 February 202016 June 2020 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins Magna Edition #3: BIG for Christmas wherein Jamie Suzanne rips off a well-known plot, gives Elizabeth a spine, and makes me question how slutty silk is.

Sweet Valley Twins #79: Jessica’s Blind Date

Posted on 10 June 201910 June 2019 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #79: Jessica’s Blind Date, in which all the kids in Sweet Valley Middle School throw their keys into the bowl…

Sweet Valley Twins #75: Jessica and the Earthquake

Posted on 4 March 201919 June 2021 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #75: Jessica and the Earthquake, which unfortunately does not have the same body count as the Sweet Valley High book called Earthquake.

Sweet Valley Twins #73: Lila’s Music Video

Posted on 4 February 201925 February 2021 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #73: Lila’s Music Video wherein Lila eats off-brand ice cream and learns the value of friendship (again)

Sweet Valley Twins #69: Won’t Someone Help Anna?

Posted on 17 December 201825 February 2021 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #69: Won’t Someone Help Anna? There’s a new girl in town, and she’s deaf. BURN HER! BURN THE WITCH!

Sweet Valley Twins #67: Jessica the Thief

Posted on 3 December 201825 February 2021 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #67: Jessica the Thief, and it’s fun enough for an overdone plot and subplot. Also: Jessica is a damn thief all the damn time. Except this time.

Sweet Valley Twins 62: Sarah’s Dad and Sophia’s Mom by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #62: Sarah’s Dad and Sophia’s Mum

Posted on 8 October 201813 December 2020 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #62: Sarah’s Dad and Sophia’s Mum and is both annoyed and bored. How? How is that even possible? All these great tropes and yet the story is terrible.

Sweet Valley Twins #59: Barnyard Battle

Posted on 27 August 201825 February 2021 by Raven

Raven recaps Barnyard Battle, in which Elizabeth nearly dies in a lightning storm and no one gives a tiny rat’s ass.

Sweet Valley Twins #57: Big Brother’s in Love!

Posted on 13 August 201825 February 2021 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #57: Big Brother’s in Love! and we learn the truth about Pea Pong. PEA PONG.

Sweet Valley Twins #56: The Wakefields Strike It Rich

Posted on 30 July 201813 June 2021 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #56: The Wakefields Strike It Rich, in which Great Aunt Helen gives the Wakefield Siblings a large cash payout, and a reason for them to murder her for a sizeable inheritance.

Sweet Valley Twins #53: The Slime That Ate Sweet Valley

Posted on 25 June 201825 February 2021 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #53: The Slime That Ate Sweet Valley wherein she over-identifies with a nerd, keeps saying Smooze instead of “the Slime” and Jessica’s first kiss gets revoked.

Sweet Valley Twins #52: Booster Boycott

Posted on 18 June 201821 February 2021 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #52: Booster Boycott and burns everything to the fucking ground. Fuck gender essentialism. Fuck heteronormativity. Fuck Wakefields Must Win.

Sweet Valley Twins #49: The Twins’ Little Sister

Posted on 21 May 201816 December 2018 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins 49: The Twins’ Little Sister by Jamie Suzanne, and no, the twins are not ready to be big sisters. They will never be ready.

Sweet Valley Twins #46: Mademoiselle Jessica

Posted on 23 April 201815 December 2018 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #46: Mademoiselle Jessica, wherein Brooke becomes Brookette (trés French) and Jessica’s family use humiliation to teach her a lesson.

Sweet Valley Twins #44: Amy Moves In

Posted on 3 April 201819 August 2018 by Raven

Raven recaps the totally forgettable… erm… huh… what was it again? Something to do with a fire? Oh yeah, Sweet Valley Twins #44: Amy Moves In.

Sweet Valley Twins #43: Elizabeth’s First Kiss

Posted on 12 March 20182 December 2018 by Raven

Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #43: Elizabet’s First Kiss, which sees Elizabeth lose her lip virginity to the inestimable Todd Wilkins… or does she?

Sweet Valley Twins #37: The War Between the Twins

Posted on 8 January 201815 December 2018 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #37: The War Between the Twins, in which Jessica launches a rival newspaper, many lies are told and Amy Sutton can just get in the f***ing sea.

Sweet Valley Twins #34: Jessica the Rock Star

Posted on 4 December 201715 December 2018 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #34 Jessica the Rock Star, in which Jessica both CANNOT and CAN sing, and the Unicorns host a billion parties.

Sweet Valley Twins #29: Jessica and the Brat Attack

Posted on 9 October 201715 December 2018 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #29: Jessica and the Brat Attack, wherein Jess faces four children more evil and annoying than herself. And Wing has zero sympathy. It is beautiful.