Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #14: Jessica: Next Stop: Jr High
Title: Jessica: Next Stop: Jr High Summary: Sunscreen alert! Jessica and the Unicorns are headed for the balmy, boy-filled beaches
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Character: Mandy Miller
Member of the Unicorn Club. Actually nice and is friends with people outside the club. Beat cancer and regrew her hair after chemotherapy in the space of a chapter. Clearly magical.
Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #12: Good-Bye Middle School
Dove does her last reacap of Sweet Valley Twins, Super Edition #12: Good-Bye Middle School, which has no plot, the characters suck, nothing is resolved and Magical Native Americans die for the Wakefields’ sins. So a fitting cap to the series, all things considered.
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The Unicorn Club #23: Trapped in the Mall
Wing recaps The Unicorn Club #23: Trapped in the Mall and goes boom. Fuck Sweet Valley parents. Fuck the Unicorn Club. Mostly, fuck Kimberly Haver.
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The Unicorn Club #22: Jessica’s Dream Date
Raven recaps the Unicorn Club #22: Jessica’s Dream Date, in which I’d happily take a cricket bat and bludgeon Johnny Buck into a marmalade pulp.
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The Unicorn Club #20: In Love with Mandy
Wing recaps The Unicorn Club 20: In Love with Mandy and it is horrible, boring, repetitive, obnoxious, and she is just done.
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The Unicorn Club #19: The Most Beautiful Girl in the World
Raven recaps The Unicorn Club #19: The Most Beautiful Girl in the World, in which the Unicorns discover you can be TOO thin, while simultaneously reminding us you can be too fat.
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The Unicorn Club #17: Boyfriends for Everyone
Wing recaps The Unicorn Club #17: Boyfriends for Everyone, AND THE STRENGTH OF HER RAGE COULD DESTROY THE WORLD. FUCK UNICORN “FRIENDSHIP.” FUCK EVERYTHING.
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The Unicorn Club #16: Bon Voyage, Unicorns
Raven recaps The Unicorn Club #16: Bon Voyage, Unicorns, in which Ellen splits herself into four Horcruxes in an attempt to become immortal.
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The Unicorn Club #14: Lila on the Loose
Dove recaps The Unicorn Club #14: Lila on the Loose where Lila finally has had enough of her father’s lack of parenting and snaps. And it’s kind of glorious.
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The Unicorn Club #13: Who Will Be Miss Unicorn?
Raven recaps The Unicorn Club #13: Who Will Be Miss Unicorn, in which Mandy Miller is both the ugliest thing in the world and the most beautiful girl on the planet.
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The Unicorn Club #12: Five Girls and a Baby
Title: Five Girls and a Baby Tagline: The baby-sitting job that won’t end Summary: When my friends in the Unicorn
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The Unicorn Club #11: Angels Keep Out
Title: Angels Keep Out Tagline: Playing dirty… [Wing: Where’s Nydick? He’d be thrilled with this.] Summary: Guess what the Angels
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The Unicorn Club #10: Mandy In The Middle
Raven recaps The Unicorn Club #10: Mandy In The Middle, in which Mandy is obsessed with Randall, Lila is obsessed with Mandy, and Raven is obsessed with the word count.
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The Unicorn Club #8: Kimberly Rides Again
Title: Kimberly Rides Again Tagline: The Unicorns hit the trail! Summary: Guess what? Just when the Unicorns were finally back
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The Unicorn Club #7: Too Close for Comfort
Raven recaps The Unicorn Club #7: Too Close for Comfort, and wishes he’d spent his time doing LITERALLY anything else.
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The Unicorn Club #6: Unicorns at War (Super Edition)
Dove recaps The Unicorn Club #6: Unicorns at War (Super Edition) which is a rehash of Tug of War if blank-page Bella from Twilight was a main character #NotMyMandy
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The Unicorn Club #5: Unicorns in Love
Title: Unicorns In Love Tagline: Blinded by love… Summary: The Unicorns are over… finished for good. But this time we
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The Unicorn Club #4: Lila’s Little Sister
Raven recaps The Unicorn Club #4: Lila’s Little Sister, in which Lila Fowler’s life is upended by a four-year-old spawn of pure evil.
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The Unicorn Club #3: The Best Friend Game
Title: The Best Friend Game Tagline: Winner take all… Summary: Can you believe there’s a new club at Sweet Valley
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The Unicorn Club #2: Maria’s Movie Comeback
Wing recaps The Unicorn Club #2: Maria’s Move Comeback and actually there’s some amazing character work and friendships while Maria stresses the hell out in a super sympathetic way.
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