Character: Elizabeth Wakefield

Most perfect human being on the planet. How would life go on without her?

Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #9: The Twins Go To College

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Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #9: The Twins Go To College, in which there’s so much inappropriate grooming it might as well be called Sweet Valley Lolita.

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Sweet Valley Twins #106: Breakfast of Enemies

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Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #106: Breakfast of Enemies, in which the sass is electric, the cereal is inedible, and Jessica needs to have a word with herself.

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Sweet Valley Twins #105 Jessica’s Lucky Millions

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Wing (@devilselbowpod) recaps Sweet Valley Twins #105 Jessica’s Lucky Millions and is fairly eh over it all. More on her than the treasure hunt or the sibling prank war. Again.

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Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #8: Jessica’s First Kiss

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Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #8: Jessica’s First Kiss, which is pointless because Jessica was kissed in book 15, which was 110 books ago. But this book contains camping! Bears! Vomit! EXCITING, YES?

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Sweet Valley Twins #103: Big Brother’s In Love Again

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Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #103: Big Brother’s In Love Again, in which Steven Wakefield is a Class A copper-plated bobby-dazzling bellend.

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Sweet Valley Twins #103: Elizabeth Solves It All

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Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #103: Elizabeth Solves It All, where this Jamie appears to hate Elizabeth as much as Dove does, and Amy Sutton is surprisingly awesome. Yeah, no, really.

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Sweet Valley Twins #101: Twins In Love

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Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #101: Twins In Love, in which Elizabeth pretends to be Jessica, Jessica pretends to be Elizabeth, Steven pretends to be a cowboy, and Raven can’t pretend to care.

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Sweet Valley Twins #100: If I Die Before I Wake

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Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #100: If I Die Before I Wake. What happens? To quote Alice Wakefield, “I don’t think we’ll ever know the answers…” SERIOUSLY? FUCK YOU!

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Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #7: Jessica’s Animal Instincts

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Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Special #7: Jessica’s Animal Instincts and oh my god, the highs and lows. THE HIGHS AND LOWS. And adorable bear cub.

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Sweet Valley Twins #95: Battle of the Cheerleaders

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Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #95: Battle of the Cheerleaders, and accidentally enjoys it. Note: it’s not about cheerleading. It’s about basketball. And Dove doesn’t understand that at all.

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Sweet Valley Twins #94: Don’t Talk to Brian

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Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #93: Don’t Talk to Brian wherein Brian the Nazi is redeemed. Wing takes this about as well as you’d think.

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Sweet Valley Twins #93: The Incredible Madame Jessica

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Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #93: The Incredible Madame Jessica wherein Jessica AGAIN thinks she’s psychic, and this book just retreads the last psychic book. The Jamies are running on empty now, aren’t they?

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