Sweet Valley Twins #75: Jessica and the Earthquake
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #75: Jessica and the Earthquake, which unfortunately does not have the same body count as the Sweet Valley High book called Earthquake.
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Character: Bruce Patman
A super-rich, super-cute boy who is a year older than the twins, but appears to have no friends his own age, so he hangs out with the sixth grade. Seems like the type who wears a banana-hammock.
Sweet Valley Twins #70: Psychic Sisters
Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #70: Psychic Sisters. If the twins COULD read minds, Steven would be in jail.
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Sweet Valley Twins #68: The Middle School Gets Married
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #68: The Middle School Gets Married, wherein each twin gets paired with an even worse version of themself and wacky hi-jinks ensue with bonus baby (egg) death! #RIPStevenFidos #NeverForget
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Sweet Valley Twins #67: Jessica the Thief
Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #67: Jessica the Thief, and it’s fun enough for an overdone plot and subplot. Also: Jessica is a damn thief all the damn time. Except this time.
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Sweet Valley Twins #66: The Great Boyfriend Switch
Raven recaps The Great Boyfriend Switch, and needs a spreadsheet to keep track on all the Twinny subterfuge.
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Sweet Valley Twins #60: Ciao, Sweet Valley!
Dove recaps the most offensive book in the series to date, Sweet Valley Twins #60: Ciao, Sweet Valley! wherein Jamie Suzanne wants us to really hate Italy. It’s ok though, we just hate the Jamie Suzanne instead.
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Sweet Valley Twins #52: Booster Boycott
Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #52: Booster Boycott and burns everything to the fucking ground. Fuck gender essentialism. Fuck heteronormativity. Fuck Wakefields Must Win.
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Sweet Valley Twins #49: The Twins’ Little Sister
Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins 49: The Twins’ Little Sister by Jamie Suzanne, and no, the twins are not ready to be big sisters. They will never be ready.
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Sweet Valley Twins #44: Amy Moves In
Raven recaps the totally forgettable… erm… huh… what was it again? Something to do with a fire? Oh yeah, Sweet Valley Twins #44: Amy Moves In.
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Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #3: The Carnival Ghost
Wing forgot to fill this in, so Dove will summarise: Wing falls hopelessly in love with this awesome story, wherein Liz makes BFFs with a ghost, Lila is sass personified, Jessica is a true believer, and DOVE WAS RIGHT THAT THIS IS THE BEST SWEET VALLEY BOOK EVER.
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Sweet Valley Twins #38: Lois Strikes Back
Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #38: Lois Strikes Back, in which Sweet Valley’s resident fatso climbs on a bike in the name of charity…
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Sweet Valley Twins #37: The War Between the Twins
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #37: The War Between the Twins, in which Jessica launches a rival newspaper, many lies are told and Amy Sutton can just get in the f***ing sea.
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Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #1: The Christmas Ghost
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #1: The Christmas Ghost, which is a Sweet Valley retelling of A Christmas Carol, with pop stars and talking unicorns (not the girl gang), and loads of versions of Jessica… all of which she takes a few minutes to identify as being herself (or Liz).
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Sweet Valley Twins #34: Jessica the Rock Star
Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #34 Jessica the Rock Star, in which Jessica both CANNOT and CAN sing, and the Unicorns host a billion parties.
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NaNoWriMo2017: Jessica vs Elizabeth – Chapter 9
Dove continues to NaNo, this time with a really long chapter of pre-Hunger Games interviews, hosted by Beau Dillon and Johnny Buck!
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