Sweet Valley Twins #99: The Beast Must Die
Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins 99: The Beast Must Die and hates everything. Mostly because of what’s going on in the world, but also the book sucks.
Continue readingEvil triplets snarkily recap Sweet Valley Twins, High, University, Confidential & Sweet Life
The twins’ mother, often mistaken for the twins’ older sister. Works part time as an interior designer, cooks excellent meals and keep the Wakefields’ “attractive split-level house” spotlessly clean. Sucks at being a parent.
Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins 99: The Beast Must Die and hates everything. Mostly because of what’s going on in the world, but also the book sucks.
Continue readingRaven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #98 – The Beast Is Watching You, in which the noble art of babysitting is examined ad infinitum.
Continue readingDove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #97: Too Scared to Sleep, the unholy union between Freddy Krueger and Kristy Thomas, where literally nothing happens for 30k words.
Continue readingWing recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Special #7: Jessica’s Animal Instincts and oh my god, the highs and lows. THE HIGHS AND LOWS. And adorable bear cub.
Continue readingWing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #93: Don’t Talk to Brian wherein Brian the Nazi is redeemed. Wing takes this about as well as you’d think.
Continue readingRaven recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #6: The Twins Take Paris, in which the twins run away, then run away again. Then run away again. And again.
Continue readingDove recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #9: Evil Elizabeth where Elizabeth is evil, Steven is useful, Jessica is awesome and Ellen is in character #WINNING
Continue readingRaven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #89: Jessica’s Cookie Disaster, in which Jessica could have poisoned an entire Home Ec class with a little more dedication.
Continue readingRaven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #87: The Mother-Daughter Switch, in which the twins play Alice, Elizabeth plays Jessica, and Alice plays a bellend.
Continue readingWing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #85: Elizabeth the Seventh-Grader, and Raven is right: Sweet Valley Middle School has the worst teachers in the world. BURN. IT. DOWN.
Continue readingWing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #84: Romeo and Two Juliets and it is filled with delightful Twin … what’s the opposite of Magic? That.
Continue readingDove recaps Sweet Valley Twins Magna Edition #3: BIG for Christmas wherein Jamie Suzanne rips off a well-known plot, gives Elizabeth a spine, and makes me question how slutty silk is.
Continue readingDove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #80: The Gossip War, wherein middle school is exactly like the Cold War, Ellen’s dad wears a funny hat, and Johnny Buck again fails to move to Sweet Valley
Continue readingWing recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller: The Curse of the Golden Heart. There are far too many dreams and far too little cursing.
Continue readingDove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #75: Jessica and the Earthquake, which unfortunately does not have the same body count as the Sweet Valley High book called Earthquake.
Continue readingDove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #71: Jessica Saves the Trees wherein #BestJess attempts to save the trees, Elizabeth is genuinely useless, facts are a last resort.
Continue readingRaven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #70: Psychic Sisters. If the twins COULD read minds, Steven would be in jail.
Continue readingWing recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #5: The Curse of the Ruby Necklace and it has everything wonderful! Vengeful ghosts! Murder mysteries! #bestjess everywhere!
Continue readingWing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #67: Jessica the Thief, and it’s fun enough for an overdone plot and subplot. Also: Jessica is a damn thief all the damn time. Except this time.
Continue readingRaven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #64: The Charm School Mystery, which abounds with mystery and a little schooling, but has infinite charm.
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