Sweet Valley Online

Evil twins snarkily recap Sweet Valley Twins, High, University, Confidential & Sweet Life

Character: Janet Howell

President of the Unicorn Club and Lila’s cousin. Kind of a moron and a dickhead. Possibly the only girl in seventh grade. Apparently very popular, despite the fact that nobody likes her. It’s a conundrum.

Sweet Valley Twins 62: Sarah’s Dad and Sophia’s Mom by Jamie Suzanne Sweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #62: Sarah’s Dad and Sophia’s Mum by Wing
Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #62: Sarah's Dad and Sophia's Mum and is both annoyed and bored. How? How is that even possible? All these great tropes and yet the story is terrible.

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Sweet Valley Twins 61: Jessica the Nerd by Jamie Suzanne Sweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #61: Jessica the Nerd by Raven
Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #61: Jessica the Nerd, in which Jessica is forced to choose between Nerds and Unicorns, with surprising (and entertaining) results.

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Sweet Valley Twins #60: Ciao, Sweet Valley! by Jamie Suzanne Sweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #60: Ciao, Sweet Valley! by Dove
Dove recaps the most offensive book in the series to date, Sweet Valley Twins #60: Ciao, Sweet Valley! wherein Jamie Suzanne wants us to really hate Italy. It's ok though, we just hate the Jamie Suzanne instead.

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Sweet Valley Twins 52: Booster Boycott by Jamie Suzanne Sweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #52: Booster Boycott by Wing
Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #52: Booster Boycott and burns everything to the fucking ground. Fuck gender essentialism. Fuck heteronormativity. Fuck Wakefields Must Win.

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Sweet Valley Twins 51: Elizabeth the Impossible by Jamie Suzanne Sweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #51: Elizabeth the Impossible by Dove
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #51: Elizabeth the Impossible wherein Elizabeth enters an abusive relationship and changes everything about herself to appease her abuser. Or she gets too big for her boots after winning a few awards. You decide what you think the book's about.

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Sweet Valley Twins #48: Mandy Miller Fights Back by Jamie Suzanne Sweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #48: Mandy Miller Fights Back by Raven
Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #49: Mandy Miller Fights Back, in which we meet the best Sweet Valley peripheral character yet!

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Sweet Valley Twins #47: Jessica's New Look by Jamie Suzanne Sweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #47: Jessica’s New Look by Dove
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins 47: Jessica’s New Look, wherein Jessica is a boring, self-centred twat who whines a lot about how wearing glasses is LITERALLY THE WORST. No. This book is the worst.

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Sweet Valley Twins #46: Mademoiselle Jessica by Jamie Suzanne Sweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #46: Mademoiselle Jessica by Wing
Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #46: Mademoiselle Jessica, wherein Brooke becomes Brookette (trés French) and Jessica's family use humiliation to teach her a lesson.

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