Sweet Valley Online

Evil triplets snarkily recap Sweet Valley Twins, High, University, Confidential & Sweet Life

Character: Janet Howell

President of the Unicorn Club and Lila’s cousin. Kind of a moron and a dickhead. Possibly the only girl in seventh grade. Apparently very popular, despite the fact that nobody likes her. It’s a conundrum.


Sweet Valley Twins #65: Patty's Last Dance by Jamie SuzanneSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #65: Patty’s Last Dance (12 Nov 2018)
Wing recaps Patty's Last Dance and the book dances its way into her heart.

 Characters: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

 Relationships: 

 Events: ,

Leave a comment

Sweet Valley Twins #64: The Charm School Mystery by Jamie SuzanneSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #64: The Charm School Mystery (22 Oct 2018)
Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #64: The Charm School Mystery, which abounds with mystery and a little schooling, but has infinite charm.

 Jessica’s hobby of the moment: ,

 Characters: , , , , , , , , , ,

 Events: 

Leave a comment

Sweet Valley Twins 63: Poor Lila by Jamie SuzanneSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #63: Poor Lila! (15 Oct 2018)
Dove recaps the best book in the series, Sweet Valley Twins 63: Poor Lila!, wherein Lila is poor, the twins are nearly absent and EVERYONE is sassy.

 Jessica’s hobby of the moment: 

 Characters: , , , , , , , , , ,

 Events: 

1 Comment

Sweet Valley Twins 62: Sarah’s Dad and Sophia’s Mom by Jamie SuzanneSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #62: Sarah’s Dad and Sophia’s Mum (8 Oct 2018)
Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #62: Sarah's Dad and Sophia's Mum and is both annoyed and bored. How? How is that even possible? All these great tropes and yet the story is terrible.

 Characters: , , , , , , , , , , ,

 Relationships: 

 Events: 

Leave a comment

Sweet Valley Twins 61: Jessica the Nerd by Jamie SuzanneSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #61: Jessica the Nerd (24 Sep 2018)
Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #61: Jessica the Nerd, in which Jessica is forced to choose between Nerds and Unicorns, with surprising (and entertaining) results.

 Characters: , , , , , , , , , , ,

 Events: 

2 Comments

Sweet Valley Twins #60: Ciao, Sweet Valley! by Jamie SuzanneSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #60: Ciao, Sweet Valley! (17 Sep 2018)
Dove recaps the most offensive book in the series to date, Sweet Valley Twins #60: Ciao, Sweet Valley! wherein Jamie Suzanne wants us to really hate Italy. It's ok though, we just hate the Jamie Suzanne instead.

 Characters: , , , , , , , ,

 Relationships: 

 Events: 

5 Comments

Sweet Valley Twins #57: Big Brother's In Love by Jamie SuzanneSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #57: Big Brother’s in Love! (13 Aug 2018)
Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #57: Big Brother's in Love! and we learn the truth about Pea Pong. PEA PONG.

 Characters: , , , , ,

 Relationships: , ,

1 Comment

Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #4 The Unicorns Go Hawaiian by Jamie SuzanneSuper Editions: Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #4: The Unicorns Go Hawaiian (16 Jul 2018)
Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #4: The Unicorns Go Hawaiian

 Characters: , , , , , , ,

 Relationships: 

 Events: , ,

Leave a comment

Sweet Valley Twins 52: Booster Boycott by Jamie SuzanneSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #52: Booster Boycott (18 Jun 2018)
Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #52: Booster Boycott and burns everything to the fucking ground. Fuck gender essentialism. Fuck heteronormativity. Fuck Wakefields Must Win.

 Elizabeth’s book-long soulmate: 

 Characters: , , , , , , , , , , ,

 Relationships: ,

 Events: ,

Leave a comment

Sweet Valley Twins 51: Elizabeth the Impossible by Jamie SuzanneSweet Valley Twins: Sweet Valley Twins #51: Elizabeth the Impossible (4 Jun 2018)
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #51: Elizabeth the Impossible wherein Elizabeth enters an abusive relationship and changes everything about herself to appease her abuser. Or she gets too big for her boots after winning a few awards. You decide what you think the book's about.

 Elizabeth’s book-long soulmate: 

 Characters: , , , , , , ,

 Relationships: ,

 Events: 

Leave a comment