Sweet Valley Twins #37: The War Between the Twins
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #37: The War Between the Twins, in which Jessica launches a rival newspaper, many lies are told and Amy Sutton can just get in the f***ing sea.
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Tag: Shame you’re not a perfect size 6
Look, we all know that fat people are the worst. And that being a perfect size 6 is the dream. Well, before size zero happened.
Sweet Valley Twins #29: Jessica and the Brat Attack
Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #29: Jessica and the Brat Attack, wherein Jess faces four children more evil and annoying than herself. And Wing has zero sympathy. It is beautiful.
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Sweet Valley Twins #28: April Fool!
Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #28: April Fool! This book sees Elizabeth and Jessica join forces against their brother Stephen, who has become possessed by a giant squid. The fourteen-year-old sandwich chomper threatens to squirt his murky ink all over Sweet Valley, and the twins decree he Must Be Stopped. (Actually, that’s a big lie… April Fool!)
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Sweet Valley Twins #25: Standing Out
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins 25: Standing Out, in which Billie Layton has to deal with getting her period, liking boys, and having her shitbag parents steal her name and give it to their new child.
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Sweet Valley Twins #19: The Bully
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #19: The Bully, a book which begs the question, “What are the cave’s dimensions?”
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Sweet Valley Twins #16: Second Best
Wing Recaps Sweet Valley Twins 16: Second Best. Where brothers dislike each other, and it’s up to busybody Elizabeth to turn them into BFFs.
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Sweet Valley Twins #12: Keeping Secrets
Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #12: Keeping Secrets, wherein Ned teaches the girls a secret (and tedious) language and IT TEARS THE SCHOOL APART!
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Sweet Valley Twins #8: First Place
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #8: First Place, wherein Lila Fowler gets a horse, and Elizabeth feels she is the one who “deserves” it.
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Sweet Valley Twins #5: Sneaking Out
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #5: Sneaking Out, wherein Jessica nearly kills a dog. And gets rewarded with jewellery.
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Sweet Valley Twins #4: Choosing Sides
Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #4: Choosing Sides, wherein Amy wants to twirl a baton, Jessica doesn’t want her to, and Elizabeth feebly stands in the middle, wondering whose side to take.
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Sweet Valley Twins #3: The Haunted House
Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #3: The Haunted House, where the entire school mistakes an orphan for a witch, and bullies her accordingly.
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Sweet Valley Twins #2: Teacher’s Pet
Sweet Valley Twins #2: Teacher’s Pet, wherein Elizabeth is much beloved, Jessica wants to murder everyone and Madame André deserves to have her ballet studio burned to the ground.
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Sweet Valley Twins #1: Best Friends
Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #1: Best Friends, wherein we meet the perfect twins… and Wing is displeased
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