Tag: comments by Raven

[Maroon is Raven’s colour.]

Sweet Valley Twins #46: Mademoiselle Jessica

Posted on 23 April 201815 December 2018 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #46: Mademoiselle Jessica, wherein Brooke becomes Brookette (trés French) and Jessica’s family use humiliation to teach her a lesson.

Sweet Valley Twins #45: Lucy Takes the Reins

Posted on 9 April 201821 February 2021 by Dove

Dove recaps Lucy Takes the Reins, wherein Dove doesn’t care in the slightest about Lucy, but ADORES WHOLEHEARTEDLY the b-plot, which features #BestJess

Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #3: The Carnival Ghost by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #3: The Carnival Ghost

Posted on 26 March 20181 April 2023 by Wing

Wing forgot to fill this in, so Dove will summarise: Wing falls hopelessly in love with this awesome story, wherein Liz makes BFFs with a ghost, Lila is sass personified, Jessica is a true believer, and DOVE WAS RIGHT THAT THIS IS THE BEST SWEET VALLEY BOOK EVER.

Sweet Valley Twins #42: Jessica’s Secret

Posted on 5 March 201821 February 2021 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #42: Jessica’s Secret, wherein we find people both stupider and bitchier than the Unicorns, and Elizabeth wants to know: HAVE YOU STARTED YOUR PERIOD?

Sweet Valley Twins #41: The Twins Get Caught

Posted on 26 February 201815 December 2018 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #41: The Twins Get Caught and resorts to bullet points really damn early because it is not a good time.

Sweet Valley Twins #40: Danny Means Trouble

Posted on 5 February 201828 June 2018 by Dove

Dove slugs her way through another Very Special Episode during which she wants to murder Elizabeth. More than usual.

Sweet Valley Twins #39: Jessica and the Money Mix-Up

Posted on 29 January 201821 February 2021 by Wing

Wing recaps Jessica and the Money Mix-Up and has to resort to bullet points to get through. (WHY DID IT TALK ABOUT BILLABLE HOURS? WHY?)

Sweet Valley Twins #37: The War Between the Twins

Posted on 8 January 201815 December 2018 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #37: The War Between the Twins, in which Jessica launches a rival newspaper, many lies are told and Amy Sutton can just get in the f***ing sea.

Sweet Valley Twins #36: Mary is Missing

Posted on 1 January 201826 May 2020 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #36: Mary is Missing and though everybody’s a sleuth no one wears a dramatic trench coat.

Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #1: The Christmas Ghost

Posted on 18 December 201710 December 2020 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #1: The Christmas Ghost, which is a Sweet Valley retelling of A Christmas Carol, with pop stars and talking unicorns (not the girl gang), and loads of versions of Jessica… all of which she takes a few minutes to identify as being herself (or Liz).

Sweet Valley Twins #34: Jessica the Rock Star

Posted on 4 December 201715 December 2018 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #34 Jessica the Rock Star, in which Jessica both CANNOT and CAN sing, and the Unicorns host a billion parties.

Sweet Valley Twins #32: Jessica on Stage

Posted on 15 November 201715 December 2018 by Wing

Wing Recaps Sweet Valley Twins #32: Jessica on Stage, wherein Jessica gets mentored by the Sweet Valley equivalent of Doris Day. Because why not?

Sweet Valley Twins #31: Jessica’s Bad Idea

Posted on 30 October 20176 February 2021 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins 31: Jessica’s Bad Idea, in which the most loathesome creature on the planet goes toe-to-toe with… Jessica? Yes. There is someone *worse* than Jess in Sweet Valley.

Sweet Valley Twins #30: Princess Elizabeth

Posted on 16 October 201728 June 2018 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins 30: Princess Elizabeth, in which we learn that the Santa Doran monarchy have incredibly lax security, and that… DOVE LOATHES THE CONCEPT OF MONARCHY.

Sweet Valley Twins #29: Jessica and the Brat Attack

Posted on 9 October 201715 December 2018 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #29: Jessica and the Brat Attack, wherein Jess faces four children more evil and annoying than herself. And Wing has zero sympathy. It is beautiful.

Sweet Valley Twins #27: Teamwork

Posted on 18 September 201723 April 2023 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #27: Teamwork, in which a dog gets a bad dye job and Ken Matthews doesn’t get paid for his hard work. Oh, and the twins exist.

Sweet Valley Twins #26: Taking Charge

Posted on 11 September 201723 April 2023 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins 26: Taking Charge, in which the b-plot is the most compelling thing, because it doesn’t require an iron grip on the idiot ball.

Episode 9: Belinda Billie Bllcks

Posted on 4 September 20176 October 2017 by Dove

Wing, Raven and Dove talk about Sweet Valley Twins 24: Jumping to Conclusions; Super Edition 2: Holiday Mischief; and 25: Standing Out. They also discuss Bleak Valley and how these books tie into this theory.

Sweet Valley Twins #25: Standing Out

Posted on 28 August 201723 April 2023 by Dove

Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins 25: Standing Out, in which Billie Layton has to deal with getting her period, liking boys, and having her shitbag parents steal her name and give it to their new child.

Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #2: Holiday Mischief

Posted on 21 August 201723 April 2023 by Wing

Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #2: Holiday Mischief, in which there are spies, disappearing ink, and the most inept choral leaders on the planet.