Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #68: The Middle School Gets Married, wherein each twin gets paired with an even worse version of themself and wacky hi-jinks ensue with bonus baby (egg) death! #RIPStevenFidos #NeverForget
Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #67: Jessica the Thief, and it’s fun enough for an overdone plot and subplot. Also: Jessica is a damn thief all the damn time. Except this time.
Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #64: The Charm School Mystery, which abounds with mystery and a little schooling, but has infinite charm.
Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #62: Sarah’s Dad and Sophia’s Mum and is both annoyed and bored. How? How is that even possible? All these great tropes and yet the story is terrible.
Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins 49: The Twins’ Little Sister by Jamie Suzanne, and no, the twins are not ready to be big sisters. They will never be ready.
Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #46: Mademoiselle Jessica, wherein Brooke becomes Brookette (trés French) and Jessica’s family use humiliation to teach her a lesson.
Wing forgot to fill this in, so Dove will summarise: Wing falls hopelessly in love with this awesome story, wherein Liz makes BFFs with a ghost, Lila is sass personified, Jessica is a true believer, and DOVE WAS RIGHT THAT THIS IS THE BEST SWEET VALLEY BOOK EVER.
Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #42: Jessica’s Secret, wherein we find people both stupider and bitchier than the Unicorns, and Elizabeth wants to know: HAVE YOU STARTED YOUR PERIOD?
Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #41: The Twins Get Caught and resorts to bullet points really damn early because it is not a good time.
Wing recaps Jessica and the Money Mix-Up and has to resort to bullet points to get through. (WHY DID IT TALK ABOUT BILLABLE HOURS? WHY?)
Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #34 Jessica the Rock Star, in which Jessica both CANNOT and CAN sing, and the Unicorns host a billion parties.
Dove continues to word vomit for NaNoWriMo. The Hunger Games tributes are announced. Who will be on there? Do they have a hope in hell against Jessica? (No, they don’t. They need your sponsorship. Sponsorship = leave a comment, not money.)
Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #29: Jessica and the Brat Attack, wherein Jess faces four children more evil and annoying than herself. And Wing has zero sympathy. It is beautiful.
Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #27: Teamwork, in which a dog gets a bad dye job and Ken Matthews doesn’t get paid for his hard work. Oh, and the twins exist.