Sweet Valley Twins #59: Barnyard Battle
Raven recaps Barnyard Battle, in which Elizabeth nearly dies in a lightning storm and no one gives a tiny rat’s ass.
Continue readingEvil triplets snarkily recap Sweet Valley Twins, High, University, Confidential & Sweet Life
Member of the Unicorn Club, Jessica’s BFF (Best Frenemy Forever), Janet’s cousin. Fabulously wealthy.
Raven recaps Barnyard Battle, in which Elizabeth nearly dies in a lightning storm and no one gives a tiny rat’s ass.
Continue readingDove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #58: Elizabeth and the Orphans wherein Melissa and Andy McCormick lose their mother and it’s actually quite sad, and Elizabeth does very little, except show up every few pages to remind us that she exists.
Continue readingRaven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #56: The Wakefields Strike It Rich, in which Great Aunt Helen gives the Wakefield Siblings a large cash payout, and a reason for them to murder her for a sizeable inheritance.
Continue readingWing recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #4: The Unicorns Go Hawaiian, and she braces herself for some horrible stereotypes and cultural appropriation. Did she go boom? Read to find out.
Continue readingDove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #53: The Slime That Ate Sweet Valley wherein she over-identifies with a nerd, keeps saying Smooze instead of “the Slime” and Jessica’s first kiss gets revoked.
Continue readingWing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #52: Booster Boycott and burns everything to the fucking ground. Fuck gender essentialism. Fuck heteronormativity. Fuck Wakefields Must Win.
Continue readingRaven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #50: Jessica and the Secret Star, in which the New Girl has a dark and mysterious toilet-paper-shaped past…
Continue readingWing recaps Sweet Valley Twins 49: The Twins’ Little Sister by Jamie Suzanne, and no, the twins are not ready to be big sisters. They will never be ready.
Continue readingRaven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #49: Mandy Miller Fights Back, in which we meet the best Sweet Valley peripheral character yet!
Continue readingDove recaps Sweet Valley Twins 47: Jessica’s New Look, wherein Jessica is a boring, self-centred twat who whines a lot about how wearing glasses is LITERALLY THE WORST. No. This book is the worst.
Continue readingWing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #46: Mademoiselle Jessica, wherein Brooke becomes Brookette (trés French) and Jessica’s family use humiliation to teach her a lesson.
Continue readingWing forgot to fill this in, so Dove will summarise: Wing falls hopelessly in love with this awesome story, wherein Liz makes BFFs with a ghost, Lila is sass personified, Jessica is a true believer, and DOVE WAS RIGHT THAT THIS IS THE BEST SWEET VALLEY BOOK EVER.
Continue readingRaven recaps Sweet Valley Twins #43: Elizabet’s First Kiss, which sees Elizabeth lose her lip virginity to the inestimable Todd Wilkins… or does she?
Continue readingWing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #41: The Twins Get Caught and resorts to bullet points really damn early because it is not a good time.
Continue readingRaven recaps Sweet VAlley Twins Super Chiller 2: The Ghost in the Graveyard. There’s a ghost… but is it in a graveyard? Enquiring minds want to know!
Continue readingWing recaps Jessica and the Money Mix-Up and has to resort to bullet points to get through. (WHY DID IT TALK ABOUT BILLABLE HOURS? WHY?)
Continue readingFanfic: The Unicorns say Ellen can’t talk to Amy at their party. Ellen can only talk to her date. The solution is obvious. To Ellen, at least. // Set after Mary is Missing
Continue readingDove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #37: The War Between the Twins, in which Jessica launches a rival newspaper, many lies are told and Amy Sutton can just get in the f***ing sea.
Continue readingWing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #36: Mary is Missing and though everybody’s a sleuth no one wears a dramatic trench coat.
Continue readingDove recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #1: The Christmas Ghost, which is a Sweet Valley retelling of A Christmas Carol, with pop stars and talking unicorns (not the girl gang), and loads of versions of Jessica… all of which she takes a few minutes to identify as being herself (or Liz).
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