Dove's Rating: Bad

Sweet Valley Twins #94: Don’t Talk to Brian

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Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #93: Don’t Talk to Brian wherein Brian the Nazi is redeemed. Wing takes this about as well as you’d think.

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Sweet Valley Twins #93: The Incredible Madame Jessica

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Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins #93: The Incredible Madame Jessica wherein Jessica AGAIN thinks she’s psychic, and this book just retreads the last psychic book. The Jamies are running on empty now, aren’t they?

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Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #7: The Haunted Burial Ground

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Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #7: The Haunted Burial Ground AND DEAR GOD THE CULTURAL APPROPRIATION BULLSHIT.

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Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #6: The Curse of the Golden Heart by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #6: The Curse of the Golden Heart

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Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller: The Curse of the Golden Heart. There are far too many dreams and far too little cursing.

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Sweet Valley Twins #72: The Love Potion by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #72: The Love Potion

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Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #72: The Love Potion, wherein the Unicorns make a love potion. What, you thought it was a clever title?

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Sweet Valley Twins #65: Patty's Last Dance by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #65: Patty’s Last Dance

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Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins #65: Patty’s Last Dance and the book dances its way into her heart.

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Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #4: The Ghost in the Bell Tower by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #4: The Ghost in the Bell Tower

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Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #4: The Ghost in the Bell Tower by Francine Pascal and it’s great, creepy fun … except the point is to make Elizabeth believe in ghosts AND SHE ALREADY SHOULD.

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Sweet Valley Twins #47: Jessica's New Look by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #47: Jessica’s New Look

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Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins 47: Jessica’s New Look, wherein Jessica is a boring, self-centred twat who whines a lot about how wearing glasses is LITERALLY THE WORST. No. This book is the worst.

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Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #2: The Ghost in the Graveyard by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins Super Chiller #2: The Ghost in the Graveyard

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Raven recaps Sweet VAlley Twins Super Chiller 2: The Ghost in the Graveyard. There’s a ghost… but is it in a graveyard? Enquiring minds want to know!

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Sweet Valley Twins #35: Amy's Pen Pal by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #35: Amy’s Pen Pal

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Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins 35: Amy’s Pen Pal, in which Amy Sutton loses a new friend to siren call of the Unigibbons. Will they steal her friend forever?

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Sweet Valley Twins 33: Elizabeth’s New Hero by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #33: Elizabeth’s New Hero

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Raven recaps Sweet Valley Twins 33: Elizabeth’s New Hero, wherein a visting East German gymnast dreams of defecting to the warm bosom of Sweet Valley. Tear down the wall!

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Sweet Valley Twins 26: Taking Charge by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins #26: Taking Charge

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Dove recaps Sweet Valley Twins 26: Taking Charge, in which the b-plot is the most compelling thing, because it doesn’t require an iron grip on the idiot ball.

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Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #2: Holiday Mischief by Jamie Suzanne

Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #2: Holiday Mischief

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Wing recaps Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #2: Holiday Mischief, in which there are spies, disappearing ink, and the most inept choral leaders on the planet.

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